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@earlytuesdays

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This is not my grief        but                                a terrible           a particular a small hole             deep beyond belief deeper                deep enough                                to own its depth                                to be depth alone
â Heid E. Erdrich, from âPublic Grief,â Little Big Bully
âThis sky like an infinite tenderness, I have caught glimpses ofthat, / often, so often, and never yet have I described it, I canât, somehow, I / never will.â
â Franz Wright, from âWalking to Marthaâs Vineyard,â Walking to Marthaâs Vineyard
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Yours,
M. J. J.
Everything stays right where you left it
Too polite to disturb the dust

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I want you to hold me
âWhat is this body / to you? Body you subsumeâbody you misconsume?â
â Sally Wen Mao, from âYellow Fever,â Mad Honey Symposium
âIt is a condition of monsters that they do not perceive themselves as such.â
âAnne Carson, Autobiography of Red
âWho hasnât ever wondered: am I monster or is this what it means to be a person?â
âClarice Lispector, The Hour of the Star
âCatherynne M. Valente, The Orphanâs Tales: In the Night Garden
âThey say Iâm a beast. And feast on it. When all along I thought thatâs what a woman was.â
âSandra Cisneros, Loose Woman
âThe she-monster is hardly a new phenomenon. The idea of a female untamed nature which must be leashed or else will wreak havoc closely reflects mythological heroesâ struggles against monsters. Greek myth alone offers a host - of Ceres, Harpies, Sirens, Moirae. Associated with fate and death in various ways, they move swiftly, sometimes on wings; birds of prey are their closest kin - the Greeks didnât know about dinosaurs - and they seize as in the word raptor. But seizure also describes the effect of the passions on the body; inner forces, looser, madness, arte, folly, personified in Homer and the tragedies as feminine, snatch and grab the interior of the human creature and take possession.â
âMarina Warner, Managing Monsters: Six Myths of Our Time;Â âMonstrous Mothersâ
âI donât want to be a person. I want to be unbearable.â
âAnne Carson, Decreation
âLouise GlĂźck, âBlue Rotundaâ
âHow can I teach her / some way of being human / that wonât destroy her?â
âMargaret Atwood, Two-Headed Poems
ââŚand what I want to say / is that I am not what I was, I am / a changeling, half-creaturely,â
âCamille Norton, Corruption: Poems; âWild Animals I Have Knownâ
âPeople feel that in her, the nonhuman. People are afraid of her. Something in her inspires a nonhuman attachment. Sur elle, the human feelings seem to slip, they glisserââ
âAnaĂŻs Nin, Nearer the Moon
âCamille Norton, Corruption: Poems; âIndex of Prohibited Imagesâ
âShe had a feral gaze like that of an untamed animal,â
âMargaret Atwood, Murder in the Dark: Stories;Â âWomenâs Novelsâ
ââŚdoes she wander still, searching human faces / For one who might speak of her / In her own language, look into her eyes / And gentle the wildness once and for all?â
âMay Sarton, Letters from Maine: New Poems
âHow can she bear the pain of becoming human? The end of exile is the end of being.â
âAngela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories;Â âThe Lady of the House of Loveâ
âHĂŠlène Cixous, The Laugh of the Medusa
âA woman in the shape of a monster / a monster in the shape of a woman / the skies are full of themâ
âAdrienne Rich, âPlanetariumâ
âA monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.â
âOcean Vuong, âA Letter To My Mother That She Will Never Readâ
âPersonally, Iâm a mess of conflicting impulsesâIâm independent and greedy and I also want to belong and share and be a part of the whole. I doubt that Iâm the only one who feels this way. Itâs the core of monster making, actually. Wanna make a monster? Take the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortableâyour weaknesses, bad thoughts, vanities, and hungersâand pretend theyâre across the room. Itâs too ugly to be human. Itâs too ugly to be you. Children are afraid of the dark because they have nothing real to work with. Adults are afraid of themselves. Oh weâre a mess, poor humans, poor fleshâhybrids of angels and animals, dolls with diamonds stuffed inside them. Weâve been to the moon and weâre still fighting over Jerusalem. Let me tell you what I do know: I am more than one thing and not all of those things are good. The truth is complicated. Itâs two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. I used to think that if I dug deep enough to discover something sad and ugly, Iâd know it was something true. Now Iâm trying to dig deeper.â
âRichard Siken, Sporkâs Editorâs Pages: Black Telephone
âIs it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?â
âFriedrich Nietzsche, Good and Evil
âI was driven because I wanted to be like others. / I was afraid of what was wild and indecent in me.â
âCzeslaw MiĹosz, âAccountâ
âWhen I looked around, I saw and heard of none like me. Was I then a monster?â
âMary Shelley, Frankenstein
âDraw a monster. Why is it a monster?â
âJanice Lee, Daughter
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Ęá´É˘É˘ÉŞÉ´', Ęá´É˘É˘ÉŞÉ´' Ęá´á´
đŤđđ đđđđ đđđđžđ' đ˝đśđđš đđđ, đˇđśđˇđ
âMost people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elseâs opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.â
â Oscar Wilde, De Profundis
âMonday.â *takes 5 acetaminophen and a huge bite of a banana*
Jesus fuck

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Kiss me sober
Knives in my back.