memento mori

🏗🏗

Yami hadn’t even registered that the lights had been turned on. Her eyes locked on the shards around her bear feet, the mess she had created, but unknow to everyone she had a habit of doing that, making a mess of things. 

Eades words slowly broke her from the mine field that the floor was. “I… I’m sorry… I…I didn’t mean to wake you.” most all she didn’t want Eades to see her like this, she wanted to look strong infront of her, not like this… not weak. 

“I’ll clean it up…” usually slow squatting down, using the the lower part of the counter to slid down against. Yami didn’t want to know how pathetic this looked, picking up larger shard that were obvious to the eyes .

She couldn’t hid this any longer, she had tried to fool herself for long enough “I don’t feel to well Eades.”

“Hey, hey, stop,” Eades moved toward Yami, pulling her away not wanting her to get cut. Eades could deal with it later but it didn’t seem like Yami was alright. She grabbed her hands to keep her from picking up the glass.

“What’s wrong?” Eades asked trying to hide the concern, wondering if Yami had maybe drunk too much and was just feeling the effects of it.

But... maybe that wasn’t it. 

🏗🏗

Yami was, she loved physical contact from anyone, it didn’t even have to be romantic. But she had to remember, that just because she was didn’t mean everyone else did. Some only liked to be touch by those they trusted and some not at all and that was okay. 

Laughter erupted from her lips as Eades told her to fuck off. “Oh, I have the problem huh?” she met the challenge and locked eyes with the other moving the rest of the was forward. “ sound like a cooperation Eades. You won’t even last five minutes, I don’t exactly play fair.” Yami would do whatever she had to, to make sure Eades was the first to look away.

“She’s my friend, teacher at the school. Sweet but fiery if she doesn’t like you” She’d never actually though of kissing her she was a friend and Yami was happy with that friendship.  

They were already extremely close to each other, so there was no surprise when Eades moved in for a kiss, it reciprocated with easy, Yami humming in delight as it went on. Getting lost in this would have been easy but Eades had pulled away only slightly so she couldn’t get to carried away with herself. “You guess? I’m gonna have to change this guessing part.” she moved back in for another, making it last longer, trying to take the others breath away with a sultry kiss.

Eades couldn’t get another word in before Yami kissed her again. They tried to remember when was the last time they had felt anything like this. When things seemed playful - when she wasn’t intentionally trying to get someone to sleep with her and just be fine with kissing. A friendship before anything else.

It was kind of terrifying and Eades was utterly unexperienced in this situation.

So she was the one to pull away again, as hard as it was.

“Jeez, kiss me any harder and I think I might’ve fooled you for one of the infected trying to eat my face.” Eades teased but was unable to hide the blush in her cheeks from that kiss.

What did Eades even want from this? The kissing was nice (and that was putting it mildly) but would she want something more? Eades didn’t know if she could do something more. She was scared to do that. Right now it’d be hard to fuck anything up right?

Eades was a smart woman, surely she’d be able to figure it out, if the time ever arises where she wanted to change what they had both agreed upon.

“I know, I kissed you but even this will take me some getting used to.” She really didn’t know what to expect when she had, but this… this was a more favourable outcome. Yami tried not to pay attention to the thoughts that were somber if things evolved.

“If I wanted to kiss a nice girl I would have kissed Liv, so be as mean as you want” she teased right back. It was a relief to do so it meant they could stop the serious talk that was awkward.

Leaning into the couch getting comfortable, her elbow rested on the back of it, while she moved her body to face Eades “I don’t know it was a what if… I don’t want to put words in your mouth okay? I’m only allowed to put my around them” her hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind the other ear. The look Eades was giving her, made it oh so tempting to lean over and plant a kiss on her.

“Look like you’d fair better in a staring competition now Eades. Could you not look at me because you wanted to kiss me? Was that it?” a playful voice asked

The touch reminded her of last night when Yami pulled Eades away from Benny. It was still strange and new and definitely nothing Eades was used to but it intrigued her. She was curious of what this meant. Was Yami a touchy kind of person?

“Fuck off,” Eades muttered, not letting herself be teased by Yami. There was no venom in her voice though. “I’m not the one with the staring problem.” She even moved closer to challenge her.

“Also, who the fuck is Liv?” Eades asked, her brain too full of kissing fog to even remember if she knew that person. Yami could have said Kai’s name and she probably would have had the same reaction.

It was that thought though of Yami kissing someone else that made Eades move forward for their lips to meet. This time it was expected and Eades was relaxed. She didn’t have to worry about anyone watching them. She could kiss Yami however she wanted. This time it was a little slower, but a lot more mutual.

.

Yami didn’t want to think about how awkward things would get if it all went sour. How difficult it would be to have Eades as a friend. But she didn’t want it to go like that, she had a feeling that if it worked out they were both what the other needed.

She didn’t truly hate anyone… okay maybe benny but could she hate Eades? No it wasn’t possible, if things didn’t turn out well she’d have to be a grown ass woman about it. They shared friends so avoid Eades wouldn’t be an option but she didn’t have to think about this, she wasn’t going to let her mind get bogged down on a possible negative outcome.

“Then if talking is to hard, you can show me Eades. All I’ll ever need is one moment of clarity. Just like one thing I can go, yep I’m not imagining things. I don’t need speeches, I just need you to be you.” That’s all she’d ever need from Eades.

Sitting on the couch next to her closer then she would have sat before, her hand grazing Eades, her legs fractions away from the other. “I can’t tell you what I want to hear, it would feel like I’m telling you how to feel Eades. And what if I say something that you don’t want to tell me?

Eades sighed leaning back against the couch, unsure what to say. Everything just felt so weird. Show her? What does that even mean?

“Ah, I dunno. I’m still getting used to whatever this is.” Eades chuckled softly never having expected she’d be dealing with anything like this during a time like this. How normal of a problem was this to have? And not have it be infected she was worrying about or her own death?

“Just tell me this doesn’t mean I have to be nice to you all the time.” Eades teased, hoping they could come back to what they used to do, get some normalcy back. “Because... that’s not gonna be something I’ll be able to do.”

She wondered what exactly was changing between them. If Eades gets her upset would she withhold a kiss? Would she just randomly kiss her out in front of everyone? Eades looked at Yami while she thought all this, thought about kissing her. Her eyes even dropped to Yami’s lips before back to her eyes. 

The logical part of Bishan’s brain knew he wasn’t being bullied. The logical part thought she had every reason to hate him like she did, that her reaction was of his own making, and that he should just back off. But that logical part couldn’t ignore the beating heart of anger that pressed it away. Because Bishan felt like instead of being asked to leave her alone, she was asking him to leave the party all together. She was threatening him, not the other way around. So he had to keep his back straight and not allow her to take that from him.

“Not sure if that’s appropriate at a school dance,” he suggested. His voice was still level despite how angry he felt. All his muscles tensed up when she reached for him, her hand just touching his shoulder, but his whole body reacting to the possibility.

Yet, Bishan worked on the idea that if someone got violent with you during an argument: you had won. So, he was obviously winning. “Get your fucking hand off of my shoulder,” he said, eyes narrowed, voice level but with some intensity.

Eades was trying to push him away yet she kept a grip on his shoulder. For all she knew he might try to lunge at her and her hand on his shoulder was the only thing to keep him for getting an upper hand. She wasn’t going to allow that. “Oh you want me to get my hand of your shoulder?” She mocked him, giving his shoulder a shake. “How about you start first with getting the fuck outta my face?”

.

Yami wasn’t after a friendship where the other wanted to be her hero, she didn’t need one of them. She was after someone real, who wasn’t afraid to say things as they saw them, even if it was bleak. Eades was that, real, grumpy but real and that’s why she wanted to hangout with her.

Of curse she knew she was pretty but it had been more of a hinderance in her line of work then any help. Mostly men thinking she knew nothing because, why would a woman who looked like her know anything about mechanics.  “How about one a month? So no one thinks you’ve gone soft.”

“If i had I wasn’t paying attention, I get very tunnelled version at times, put all my focus on one thing… these days It’s work.” and when her focus was on something it was go big or go home to her, Yami didn’t do anything by half’s. “Yeah not the foot wear of choice any more.”

“I’m not going soft because of some compliment.” Eades huffed, rolling her eyes. What was wrong with giving a compliment, especially when it was so obvious? Of course Eades would tell Yami she’s pretty because she is! Duh. Anyone with eyes can see that.

“Tunnel vision. I see.” That was a relief, Eades sometimes worried what Yami saw in her that she didn’t want her to see. That she didn’t want anyone to see. Either way Yami must have been missing out on things she wasn’t paying attention to outside of work. She wondered how many people stupidly flirted with her that she hadn’t realized.

🏗🏗

Neither of them had done anything wrong, just her walking away and not coming back had left her wondering if what she had done was the right thing. That maybe the kiss had been a line for Eades, that she had fucked up a friendship just because she had wanted to kiss her beautiful face. 

A breath she didn’t know she was holding was realised at her comment 

Using the word cool to describe that if had been okay for her to kiss Eades was an amusing choice. She was resisting teasing Eades about the wording since it look like they were really trying to choose their words carefully. “Maybe say that before leaving next time, you had me worried.” It was all it took for those nerves to settle. “And if you ever felt like you want to kiss me, it’d be fine by me also” she mirrored her words.  

There was that word again, no teasing she had to remind herself not while they were having a serious convocation “You want us to stay the same but also kiss?I’m down for that. And if either of us wants more all we have to do is talk right?” that was important for her, she needed to know that if anything changed Eades would say and not keep it to herself.

“Sure, that would be coool, shame you don’t have any Netflix to add to that chill.” 

Eades pursed to her lips in an attempt to hold back her smile as she turned her head slightly  away from Yamilet. Now, it was blatantly obvious she was flirting and Eades wondered how and why she had missed all that. She really was stupid wasn’t she?

“I didn’t -” Did she want things to be the same? Could things be the same? Man, this was gonna suck wasn’t it? If she messed things up, she couldn’t run away from it! She liked it here. It was safer than being out there and if she messed up so bad Yami didn’t want to see her anymore... she’d have to live with that. Live knowing she made someone as nice as Yami hate her.

Eades rubbed at the back of neck, taking a seat on her couch. Completely unable to say what she was thinking, what she was feeling. She... never had to, was never taught to.

“I’m not really good with talking, Yami...” she admitted. “I don’t mean to worry you.” Really it wasn’t her intention and she hated that she did but talking was easier said then done. 

Seeing Eades when the door opened made something inside her clench, and she felt stupid for it. She wasn’t they type to get nervous at a front door for fuck sake, she was the type to go bouncing in without a second thought.

Moving into Eades home, her eyes definitely took in the sight of the other as she walked past and into their home. “Well I’m just checking in on you. You know you left for the bathroom and never came back, then you were arguing with benny.” Maybe what she had done put Eades in a sour mood, maybe that’s why she got angry with benny easily

“He’s my boss, but I know how he is. There’s no need to apologise. It should be me, I made you dance with me… and kissed you. Sorry if that made things uncomfortable for you.” She was hating apologising on the inside but she didn’t feel bad for anything that had happened at the dance, she had wanted it but maybe that was the problem, maybe Eades didn’t.

Fuck she hated this, all this doubt in her head. This wasn’t her, almost made her feel sick.

“So any plans for today? Or just hiding away?”

Eades had no idea what to do. It seemed like it just started and she had already fucked it up. Maybe it was better to stop before it started. Whatever it was. But seeing the look on Yami’s face... Eades never saw that before and it made her want to do whatever it would take to make it better.

“Sorry I -” Eades stammered through her words, trying to find the perfect thing to say, the perfect bandaid to put on this wound.

“Look, it’s cool you kissed me.” That much was definitely true. If Eades had to choose anyone in town to get kissed by it would be Yami. Who wouldn’t want a pretty girl to kiss them? And Yami was as pretty as they come. “If you liked it and want to do it again, that’d be fine by me.”

Eades liked it and Yami must have liked it to, right? Right. Of course she did. She initiated. Eades didn’t want to ruin things and she may be by continuing... whatever this was, but she couldn’t think clearly about that right now.

“I just wanna know if we’ll still be... y’know cool even though we kiss sometimes.” Eades didn’t know how to put it, maybe she was sounding like a fool. She just didn’t want anything to change but also didn’t know what Yamilet wanted. Could she even give the other woman whatever she wanted?

Eades was not wrong, and Fletcher really truly did not care. It was but a tease. “I’d be a hypocrite, honestly. I think I first said ‘shit’ when I was five. Older brothers and all taught me - and a very surly rooster had a target on my back. Six year olds can only run so fast with a basket of eggs.” Fletcher forever hated that bird there on out, and that was how he ended up with his first and only dog.

“Just looking,” Fletcher answered Eades innocently. “Nah, I trust you. To at least keep it together if you did indulge.” Someone somewhere in that gymnasium had to have had something on them. To be quite honest, Fletch was surprised Kai came empty-handed. He knew so because they walked their together. Maybe he needed to save face in front of his students, but whatever the reason there was some pride Fletch had in that decision, especially considering old habits obviously surviving and remaining prevalent in present day.

“Cute. Hmm, yeah. I’m relieved it worked out, so I’m happy you think so ” It meant a lot coming from Eades because if the whole thing was a bust he expected her to be brutally honest about it. “So, did you come alone or did you find a lucky someone to be your date? I know you were here in the corner all by your lonesome, but I don’t know. They could’ve just run off the get a refill of punch.”

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Fletcher said his first curse word at six? Wow. Maybe he was a little more bad ass than Eades gave him credit for. She’d have to tease him about that later. Not now when there were kids around and she didn’t want to get in trouble, either by Fletcher or anyone else. Eades was to be well-behaved today, she’d make sure of it.

“Yeah, they look like they’re having plenty fun and that’s what matters right?” That’s what this whole thing was for anyway. She took a sip of her punch as she watched a few of them dance together. Kids were supposed to be happy and have fun at that age, not worry about dying to flesh-eating monsters. Eades glanced down to her cup, wondering what it must be like. Some of these kids probably lost their parents or don’t know what happened to them and might never know what happened to them. Eades hardly every thought of her family and what became of them. She stopped caring a long time ago.

“I’m perfectly fine being in my lonesome, Fletch.” She said turning to him, kindly implying that he was okay to leave her alone as well. She was more of an observer anyway. She could watch people make fool of themselves all night and be fine... but sure talking to other people was nice sometimes. “I’m sure I’ll find Kai somewhere ‘round here and we’ll try not to ruin your dance.” She teased, hoping he knew they wouldn’t do anything like that. Last thing Eades needed was to get on everyone’s bad side.

.

Her eyes flittering open after the kiss, to see the stunned face of Eades. Not seeing her scowling was the best change, It did leave her wondering what other stunning faces Eades would let leak out around her.  

“If I had asked would you have believed I meant it? You can’t even look me in the eyes for more then five seconds, how am I meant to believe youd take me seriously?” after all she had teased her a lot over the course of knowing each other.

“Yeah, I’m the idiot here. Not like I have been flirting with you each time i see your or anything. Let me guess you thought i was just being nice? Do I have to be meaner in the future for you to notice me?” shed try if it meant more affection like this. Where instead of making distance she held her closer. 

Yami had almost forgot about all the kids around them, it was so easy to with this intoxicating moment with Eades. “Well I’ll just have to ask permission for everything else later then.”  

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She had been flirting all this time and Eades had stupidly thought she was being nice. My god. Eades truly was the actual idiot in this case. Oh man, she couldn’t tell anyone this. No one would let her live it down. Especially Kai. Kai could never learn she and Yami kissed.

It wasn’t a big deal anyway. It was just a kiss. She wasn’t a teenager anymore wondering what it meant.

They were all just looking for comfort in some way and if Yami felt comfortable with Eades to do that then...

“I like it when you’re nice,” Eades spoke into Yami’s ear, perhaps letting a little vulnerability show in her words. For what it was worth, Yami’s effort to be patient with Eades was welcome. She couldn’t guarantee she’d be receptive to it all the time but it was nice to know it was there.

Even though she’d probably end up fucking it up.

Oh, she’d fuck this up terribly.

Yami deserved much better than that.

“I gotta go to the bathroom.” Eades abruptly muttered, pulling away as gently as she could and heading away. She didn’t even know if it was the bathroom she was going towards but she needed a moment to think about everything that had just happened.

.

“I’ll make sure to tell him that, I’m sure he’ll think otherwise.”  and he’d take it all in good humour and it made it some what easier that Kai was friends with Eades. At some point they would all have to hangout together, it wouldn’t be boring that was for sure. ”It’s a good gift to have.”

“So don’t look at you but don’t look away from you? Your confusing, or is it just the eye contact? afraid i might see something I won’t like?” or maybe it was that she’d see something she did but who knew with Eades she was a mystery. 

“I’m a scary woman what can I say, Well that’s one way to get more rations. I guess your lucky I’ve already eaten today then, no need for your lunch money.”

“Is that a compliment Eades? I didn’t know you were cable of giving them out. That’s cute, you think I’d be aiming to drive guys crazy.” men had never interested her more then friends, women on the other hand well that was a different story.  

Afraid to see something she won’t like. That’s what it was. It was like looking in Yami’s eyes made Eades see everything bad about herself. Yami was a good person and all that shit. Her reason for always wanting to hang around Eades was a mystery. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Eades “rescued” her or whatever.

Eventually you see your heroes for who they really are, right?

“Sure I can give out compliments when they’re saying the blatant obvious.” Yami did not seem like the person who had no clue she was pretty. “If you were dying for a compliment from me you should’a said something sooner.” Eades teased, but not letting Yami’s last comment surprise her.

If it had, it was definitely a pleasant one.

Bishan kept his position. He had stared down worse enemies. Even if he knew people would come to her aid quicker than they might come to his, and he wasn’t much of a fighter. Backstabbing was more his game. Despite being able to keep his face straight, there was something growing in his chest that he could only call fear. Fear of the consequences. Still he kept his back straight and looked down at her, inviting her to try her best, ignoring how his body wanted to run. 

“Like I said, I’m here to do my job,” he repeated, keeping his voice level. He bit his teeth together as she took a step into his personal space. She was a tad smaller than him, but he knew size wasn’t anything. He had been bullied at school, but he had also been the bully. It was all about picking the right target. “Now you say it, you don’t,” he noted. “You look like you want to pull the joy out of my evening and strangle it. Bit unfair don’t you think?” 

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“Oh, I wanna strangle something, alright.” Eades threatened, just wanting him to leave her alone with as little of a scene as possible. He could just walk away. She told him she wasn’t interested in dancing - maybe not flat out but he seemed to be picking up what she threw at him. Her hands had subconsciously balled into fists and she had to remind herself to relax them but he was running on her last nerve.

“You’re sucking all of the joy outta my evening by continuing to talk to me, so why don’t you just fuck off.” Maybe it was the look on his face, maybe it was the way he was breathing - whatever it was, it set her off. She reached over, bunching the fabric of his top on his shoulder. “D’you need a send off?”

.

“Who says I’d want you everyday? Kai would look nice in boots “ she couldn’t hide the smile as she teased Eades. “I don’t know how you do that? Go back out there and find everyone. You found me and Kai.” Who was now her best friend “Its a little bit impressive.” 

Eades was full of surprises today, normally she kept her distance but this was the second time she had entered her person space… not that Yami was complaining, but she was more prepared for it this time. Straightening herself to try gain some height “I’m gonna have try and find some heels so I can be the slightly taller one.” and then she could teas her about being shorter.

Yamilet wasn’t nervous looking into the others eyes, actually she could do such for a while. Get lost in those beautiful brown pools, that suggested she could be warmer then what was presented. 

“That was a staring contest? you didn’t last very long Eades if so. Who knew it would be so easy to wi… wait thirty minutes? where am I meant to look?” confusion knitted across her brow. But the it hit her “ I got you” she turned her back to Eades poured the drinks into glass and tried her best to hold out the drink backwards, twisting her shoulder so she wouldn’t face Eades, but it did mean the drink was tilting to one side “I hope you like talking to the back of my head?”

“Eh, he wouldn’t look as good as I do.” Eades noted with a smirk, wishing her pal was here to hear her. She decided to take Yamilet’s compliment with a shrug. “Recruiting good people is a gift what can I say.” Really, she believed it was pure luck but... she did manage to find Jesse’s little brother. Not on purpose though.

Eades was realizing that looking at Yami’s back was not preferable to her front.

“Aw, c’mon, I didn’t mean it so literally.” Eades grabbed the drink before it spilled, letting Yami turn around. Eades tried to keep her own gaze steady, not really wanting to appear nervous. Why would she be nervous anyway? It was just Yamilet. A really friendly person... yet when she looked in her eyes it was just... something too weird for Eades to figure.

“You give a really good stare you know that? I’ll admit I’m a little intimidated. I almost considered giving you my lunch money.” Yeah, that was it. Eades was only intimidated by her. There was no other reason why it felt so weird. 

Bishan shrugged. “Obviously I’m here in case something breaks down,” he lied. “Haven’t you seen Yami walking around with the toolbox?” Of course, if something did break down, he would just let Yami handle it. She knew way more things than him, though he might ‘help’ her by pretending to give her instructions in Spanish to seem like he had everything under control. She seemed far too interested in fixing things for him to be bothered with the work himself. 

“Does that mean you don’t want’a dance?” Bishan asked, mouth slightly open as he licked his lips and raised his eyebrows in amusement. 

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“Yeah, I know why she’s here.” Yamilet’s obviously the one with the toolbox ready to fix something. He didn’t seem to be carrying anything. The way he referred to her too, like she was just a tool of his. Eades could already feel her face start to heat up with anger. She couldn’t keep it inside anymore. She turned to look at him, face him. Maybe then he would understand that she wasn’t playing around.

.

Their was a reason Eades couldn’t look her in the eyes, she wished she knew it. Maybe if she knew she wouldn’t be so insistent on having eye contract. Or maybe it would turn out the complete opposite.  

Eades hands on her, even though she had put them there, didn’t get her nervous but excited. It was a small victory in her book, actual physical contact with her. This moment was something she was going to prize highly.

“I would never judge you” And if Eades held eye contact for more then a second she’d see what Yami’s eyes were fully of and it wasn’t judgement. It was an appreciative look, this was all out of the other comfort zone, and she was doing it all because she had asked.

“Of course you do, but I can live with that. I’m trying to decide if I should do something or not.” she admitted on of her hands braking away to move strands of Eades hair away from her face so she could appreciate it more. 

Yami had a decision to make as they shuffled together. Not knowing if she get this opportunity again, if Eades would allow her to get this close again, and she had always jumped on opportunities in the past so why not this one? And if it all went wrong… she guessed she could blame Kai. 

“You want to know why I try and get every moment of eye contact I can? So I can know if i get permission to do this” pulling on Eades neck to bring her close as she closed the rest of the distance, she made sure it wasn’t a felting kiss but one that she’d been holding back on for months now.

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Eades looked at Yami, wondering what she had meant. And in those small seconds before the kiss, she knew, she knew what it was. She allowed herself to be kissed, wondering when she was last kissed. Like this? Never. She’d never been kissed like this.

She had to pull away, if only to breathe.

“Uh.” Eades was stunned and her brain was working on catching up to what happened.

“You-you could’ve just asked, y’know?” Eades probably would have said yes. I mean, it was just a kiss. And it was Yami, who would say no to kissing a pretty girl like her? No one in their right mind that was for sure.

“Probably would’ve been a lot easier if you just asked, idiot.” Eades let out a small laugh despite insulting Yami, there was no malice in her tone. Leave it Yamilet to make it much harder than it could have been.

As Eades glanced away, she met eyes with some preteen and realized Yami and Eades weren’t alone. They were surrounded by people, maybe people who didn’t notice and were lost in their own world but there were definitely people around them. Lots of people.

Eades glanced around and while she saw no one really staring, she felt overwhelmed. Yami was so close and so was everyone else. She looked back to Yami.

This time she didn’t keep from looking at her. She kept Yami close, choosing not to focus on everyone outside of them.