Once you lock yourself to louis during your first iwtv watch you truly never get out. Even when I can't defend him I am a louis girl through all of his worst traits, BECAUSE of his worst traits. He holds himself up to a moral standard impossible to keep, trying to fit into the mold of a person that he thinks, or society thinks he should be. It's something about realizing he's doing that, trying to dismantle it and failing, trying and failing, thinking he's cracked it and then failing again. He's much more than a victim or a lover or a perpetrator, he survives through paralysis and self absorbtion, he's kind and loving, cruel and selfish, all in function of his own shame and the cages he needs to build himself in order to make sense of his life choices. He punishes himself for things he should have grace for and then absolves himself for things he should repent for. He loves so hard and represses so much of it he ends up hurting everyone around him while keeping blinders on and seeing nothing but his own pain and suffering. He's selfless to the point of being selfish. He isolates and he spirals and he looks for connection while willing to give absolutely nothing of himself away. He's growing and evolving and being vulnerable and falling back into the same old patterns anyway. And most importantly he's trying his best. Truly s3 Louis is trying his best, and he's failing and then he's trying again. Kind, cruel, messy, loving, self deprecating, victim, abuser, existentialist, capitalist, disinterested, sentimental louis de pointe du lac.
looove my personal version of louis the pointe du lac.
