Valar Morghulis

For some reason, it is often easier for me to vent online when I’m feeling sad or melancholy rather than when I am feeling cheerful or happy. I imagine that is partially because I feel like expressing my happiness comes off as bragging, which isn’t my intention. This is silly though-if anything, my favorite posts I see on social platforms are the ones where someone declares their optimism or gratitude for their current situations.

That is exactly how I’m feeling tonight: Like revealing this beautiful mood I’m in that acknowledges just how lucky I am, and all the things I have to look forward to. 

Firstly, I am still in good health, and since that will not always be the case, I feel very fortunate for my lack of physical ailments. I live in a beautiful place. I do get sick of being here some days, and within the last couple of years I have certainly begun to feel “trapped” in a way, but I attribute that mostly to my lack of traveling lately. However, inspired by all the trips we’ve seen people flaunting on social media, my sister and I were inspired to book ourselves a trip to Mexico in May, so I am very happy to have a beautiful vacation to look forward to! (And with my sister, who I appreciate more and more everyday)! 

I spent this evening climbing with a new girlfriend who was also nice enough to invite me to get dinner with some of her other friends. All of them were super nice, and it made me feel extra appreciative to be surrounded by some very passionate, generous, and considerate people. I may occasionally complain about the “bubble” my city embodies, yet at the end of the day, most of the people living in my city are good people. 

I feel lucky to be able to express myself, to have gained the confidence since high school to know when I need to take care of myself, when to stand up for myself or others, and to feel reassured that I am creating a healthy environment for my wellbeing.

Leaves are slowly starting to come out, and dandelions and croci are scattered everywhere. The weather has still been inconsistent, but I hear birds chirping again, all the neighborhood bunnies are reappearing, and something in the air just smells amazing. It’s hard not to be cheerful!

Also, after what feels like a year of rejections from guys (I can think of three off the top of my head), I met a guy who, so far, seems really wonderful. Not only do I find him physically attractive, but more importantly, I just like being in his presence. It feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve engaged in a “thing” with a guy that’s felt mutual. Usually I feel like I chase the guy, and that’s gotten really, really old. 

So anyway, to sum up:

Almost Spring. Climbing is going well. Expanding my group of friends and recognizing how lucky I am to know so many diverse, wonderful individuals. Getting along with my entire family better than ever!! Have a tropical trip planned to look forward to. Enjoy where I live. Grateful for my health. Happy to be experiencing a mutual crush.