𝔡𝔞𝔪𝔫 𝔡𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔢𝔩

𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚢 𝙸𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚊 ➛ 𝟺𝚝𝚑 𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚛 ➛ 𝙲𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝 𝙾𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ➛ 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚜, 𝙲𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 & 𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ➛ 𝚁𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝟸𝟶𝟼

                                    there’s an invisible string that keeps her chin away from her chest, her nose held high gives her a better sense of relaxation than slumping, melting into the cement ever could. she takes his easy words like they’re precious, always one note too serious. thalia will never have the ease he carries with him, but instead of wanting to snatch it from him like plucking from him what’s not hers, she’s content, no, delighted to bare witness to it. ‘   boys like you.    ’ she repeats, mulling over the sentiment as if they’re three words picked out of a dictionary and placed side by side, the connotation lost on her. ‘   what’s boys like you ?    ’ she knows him. she doesn’t know him at all. those are the questions given to plucked daisy petals, more than whether she is loved or not. thalia can’t imagine him ever meeting her father, it’s so beyond this universe that even the murkiest, most pixellated image can’t conjure in her imagination. he wouldn’t make it past an introduction. ‘   like a game of chess ? it’s the only game i’ve never had the patience for.    ’ she admits, because she can admit things to him. only him. she glances at his open palm, feels her heart vibrate, lingering on like strings that have been strummed too hard. then she takes his hand eventually, warm, fingers curled with a force committing it to memory like when he lets go, her hand will stay that way, as if it never left. ‘   fuck modern art.   ’ she agrees.

“Well you have done a pretty good job. The effort really is showing so take a deep breath, whoever it is that you want to wow is going to be just that” he assured and nodded. This reminded him that he should care more about his hair, take better care of it. It was just easier to just let the curls be unkept. 

“thank you, man. it’s a special day, you know? sometimes you gotta put in the effort.” he smiles a little proudly now that he’s confident his hair looks great. “are you planning to wow someone today?”

as soon as bea saw the look on danny’s face she knew she had misspoke. she shook her head fervently as she tried to think of something to say, of some way to explain herself. “no, i didn’t mean it like that,” was the best she could come up with. she didn’t want him to feel bad, he hadn’t done anything wrong and now she felt awful. she wasn’t sure what to say to reassure him after her last statement had come across all wrong. she didn’t want to say the wrong thing again. her eyes searched his face as he spoke. she wasn’t quite sure what she was looking for, but she seemed certain she would find it in his eyes. bea liked to think of herself as someone who thought things through, who made plans and thought about the consequences of her actions, but that wasn’t always the case. as soon as he finished speaking she took a step forward, one hand grasped his chin, and without thinking it through in the slightest she leaned in and kissed him. something was telling her it was a bad idea, but it was hard to hear that over the sound of her heartbeat in her ears. when he’d kissed her in october it had been over in a second, but that wasn’t what she wanted this to be. she wanted to take her time, to savor it. she meant this, and she wanted him to know that. when she did pull away she smiled at him, somehow feeling shy and self-assured at the same time. “i don’t want it to mean nothing.” hopefully she’d made that clear. “and you didn’t make me uncomfortable. maybe that made you uncomfortable, i don’t-” she trailed off as doubt set in. “it’s just that i understand that we can’t be together.” at least, that was what she thought he had said. “but we’re not acting like it and i don’t understand what i’m supposed to do about that.”

“ ARE THEY ONLY to be taken during certain days ? ” his tone a little challenging due to not thinking that was true at all … then again, he was not so well versed in cheat days so he’s not sure if he’s calling a bluff that doesn’t exist. “ fine, i’m doing sword training this semester so i’m enjoying it. ” because he loves swords, and fighting with them was even better. “ it’s your last semester. ” luc states, as if danny wouldn’t know that himself. 

                            she enjoys the way he frames it, her life on the line as another mission. that’s all espionage really is, the field she’s been raised in anyways. appreciates how candidly he’s able to say this, and it makes her want to offer her own token of truth in return. like everything’s a debt that needs to be repaid. however, if she were to lean in close and casually admit that she is scared, there’d be no coming back from it. declarations of love or hate are easier to rectify than a confession of fear. her palms push up against the ledge, hopping up to sit next him, legs dangling like humpty dumpty who can’t make up his mind as to whether he wants to fall or not. she spares one, singular, self-pitying glance at the at the ground, before a wolfish smile tears at her lips. ‘   i already am.   ’ she turns to him, spoken like it’s something that could be printed in big, bold, letters on the cover of a tabloid magazine. of course, she’s not talking about the trip, the tailing mission. but him, the existence of danny. in relation to herself. danny and thalia sing songs in her mind, she likes the way it sounds. ‘   dad doesn’t like boys, you know.   ’  she nods immediately when he asks. ‘   what about the kreeger museum ? i hate contemporary, modern art. it’ll be fun.   ’

“we could head outside, but i wouldn’t mind just wandering down the hall.” she sort of liked roaming gallagher’s corridors. bea was tempted to take his hand, but she was pretty sure that would be counterintuitive to what she was trying to do. she was relieved to leave the party, to hear the sounds of celebration suddenly muffled as the door shut behind them. she looked at danny and smiled, one hand absentmindedly playing with her new necklace. even amidst all the confusion she was feeling, she also felt happy just being around him. she walked in silence for a little while, trying to think of what to say and pretending she wasn’t watching him in her peripheral vision. the idea of laying all of her cards on the table was terrifying, but she was also worried that if she wasn’t completely honest that he’d think she was upset with him, which couldn’t be further from the truth. finally she stopped and turned to danny, unsure if she should really be doing this at all. “what are we doing?” she asked. “please don’t get me wrong, i’m having a really good tine, it’s just that…” bea sighed and wrung her hands. “it’s valentine’s day. and that sort of has certain connotations and i’m just not sure if we’re on the same page.” she didn’t think far enough ahead to actually say what page she was on, which probably would’ve been helpful.

“aren’t they cool?” he beamed that someone noticed his shirt. “come stand with me in the sun, it sparkles.” he holds his hand and walks with him toward the door.

     “are you saying i’m not irresistible already?” he asks, feigning shock and hurt. he’s just being dramatic, but he does appreciate danny’s offer to help him out. “you’re an austen fan too?” everyone in his class seems to be in love with her. “maybe i’ll be able to figure out why she’s so great.”

Amado had never been someone who cared much about his hair or what he was wearing. Expression thanks to fashion was a beautiful thing and he used that to his advantage. Wearing mismatched socks, colors that stood out from the rest. Basically fashion that some would deem ugly. So when he heard the question, he chuckled. “I personally think it looks great. Way better than how I keep my own curly hair”

“really?” his eyes widened, a little bit touched by the compliment and he hoped the other meant it, because his hair looked fabulous. “i really tried hard tonight– i kinda had to. you know, i’m trying to wow somebody, but i still want to look casual– you know what i mean?” he was nervous and speaking way more than he should, but amado looked reliable enough.

“i love it,” she beamed. “thank you so much.” bea really didn’t feel like she could thank him enough. she wasn’t sure how red her cheeks were, but they felt warm and that was only making her more embarrassed. he thought she was special. valentine’s day was special and she was special and surely that meant something, surely he wasn’t giving gifts and compliments to all of his friends. they had never really been friends - when they both arrived at gallagher and saw each again they were ‘friends,’ but that was only because bea wasn’t sure if he had been feeling what she was feeling, and having him as a friend was better than not having him at all. they didn’t stay ‘friends’ for long and she was glad. for the past couple of months they’d been ‘friends,’ and for bea it was once again because she wanted him in her life and that seemed to be the only way. but they weren’t acting like friends, and she was feeling confused. she couldn’t remember the last time a friend had tucked her hair behind her ear (it was never) and she was certain that no friend had ever looked at her the way he was looking at her now. if she hadn’t been blushing before she was now, and all she could really do was look at her feet. “thank you,” she mumbled, looking back up at him with a small smile on her face. she had fun dancing with danny, but she was overwhelmed and she thought dancing would make it worse. “actually, it’s kind of loud in here and i could use some quiet. would you take a walk with me?” that was true, but more than that it was an excuse to speak to him privately. she was scared to talk to him, but bea felt like she would go insane if she didn’t. 

bea smiled, her head tilted slightly to the side. if she didn’t know better, she’d think that danny was flustered. “clearly you don’t need anything else.” was that too forward? she wasn’t sure. his laughter brought another grin to her face, it always did, but she was so nervous that she forgot to laugh. “yeah, that would be bad.” she didn’t really understand why he was worried about someone punching him. he was being weird and it had her on edge. “what?” her eyes widened in surprise as she looked down at the box. she slowly opened it and a smile spread across her face. “it’s perfect.” one hand flew up to touch the thin gold chains around her neck. of course danny knew what would go with what she wore every day, but she was still touched by the thoughtfulness that had gone into it. what is happening? why did he get me a gift? what is this? what the fuck? she smiled at him, trying very hard to pretend like we wasn’t losing her shit. “will you help me put it on?” bea took the necklace out of the box and handed it to danny before turning around and brushing her hair away from her neck. “you really didn’t have to do this, you know.”