Daddy's Dutchess

“Would you get me a beer?”

is a world away from

“Get me a beer, please.”

The first is a request to which she might easily (and logically) reply, “no.” The second is a polite direction. The speaker assumes his request will be granted. It is easier for her to comply than to construct an argument or a valid reason for refusal.

Even if you have to be big practically ALL the time, n feel like you needa wear ‘big’ clothes, n you talk smart with big, descriptive words…

you’re still a SUPER VALID little!!

Even if you have to be big practically ALL the time, n feel like you needa wear ‘big’ clothes, n you talk smart with big, descriptive words…

you’re still a SUPER VALID little!!

How to love a broken girl. How many would benefit from an instruction book for that? Its easy to love the carefree girls, the “normal” girls, the confident girls next door, but what about the broken girls? The girls with fortresses around their heart and shields in their eyes? The girls whose souls have aged beyond their earthly years? The girls with bodies and minds that have survived wars which would break the strongest of men? Sometimes these girls should come with a warning label. The warning pendulum swings both ways. This warning is not only for how you must treat her but for all the ways she will ruin you.

1. You cannot love her gently. She does not realize she deserves to be loved. You must love her with a force that can crush mountains. You must burn her soul so hot with your love that doubt melts away. Your love must be unconditional and you must show her on her very worst days.

2. She doesnt know shes beautiful. She can get compliments all day and she wont believe it. There is a demon on her shoulder whispering that its not true. It takes a dozen compliments to erase one hurtful torment from her past. Shower her with compliments, be her cheerleader, until your words are her heartbeat instead of her doubts.

3. Chase her. I know we often have the attitude of not chasing anyone. I know it is said to be weak if we chase someone who walks away, but we need to see you are weak for us. Sometimes a broken girl needs to see how much you need her. She needs to.see that vulnerability in your eyes to feel ok. We need you to need us.

4. She needs routine. Broken girls over analyze everything. They notice everything, too. Did you stop asking her for pictures after some time passes? Did you stop using a pet name? Every broken pattern to us means the end of the only thing we have ever wanted and it terrifies us.

5. Smother us with affection. Touch us. Kiss us. Touch us some more. Broken girls have not experienced enough positive affection in their life. We will absorb every ounce as a person dying of thirst demands water. You cannot shower us with enough of a good touch.

6. Be honest and keep promises. Broken girls have not dared to dream much. Every vow made to us has been broken. Every promise has been a lie. We would rather you never let a promise escape your lips than have you utter false ones.

7. Prepare to drown. If we let you inside our chaotic soul, you will be immersed in a madness you will not understand. We sometimes walk the balance beam of insanity and sometimes we fall. The biggest warning we should have is this.. if we love you, it is forever. We will love you with a loyalty that will amaze you. We will be committed and our heart will beat your name. While we are still broken we will try to devour all of your pain. We will be perceptive to your wounds and eager to heal your soul. If we love you, please be prepared that we will forever stay.

She

Impressions

In BDSM there are three separate forms of power exchange. In no particular order:

Sadism & Masochism

Topping & Bottoming

Domination & Submission

Sadism & Masochism is the exchange of power through pain. Spanking, flogging, whipping, caning, CBT, nipple torture, even rough sex. Like feeling a little pain with your pleasure? You’re a masochist. Does making someone hurt bring you pleasure? You’re a sadist. Can you be both? Absolutely. I think most of us are, in subtle ways. (My Domme pointed out it was rather sadistic of me to tease my dog with a treat to make him do cute tricks.)

Topping & Bottoming is the exchange of power through sex. One of you is in control of the situation, whether it’s just for this roll in the hay, or every single time with your partner. That person is topping. The passive, or controlled one is bottoming. So if it’s being held down or tied up during sex, or begging for an orgasm, or edging someone until they cry… that is sexual power exchange. Can you be a top and a bottom? Oh, yes, you can. You can even do it in the same romp, if that’s what works for you and your partner.

Domination & Submission is the exchange of power through emotions and intimacy. D/s (the shorthand for this) is about rules, structure, discipline, and protocol. And that can be as intense as a 24/7 Master/slave relationship, or as simple as calling your husband ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’ because he said so. In between is a WORLD of amazing ways to exchange power mentally.

Rules are set in place with a purpose -not just because they’re sexy. Rules are things like: Check in via text when you leave work (so I know you’re on the road and shouldn’t text). Send a photo of your outfit every morning (so I can see how beautiful you look today, and compliment you). Work out four times a week (because I want to help you stay healthy).

Protocols are similar, they are standards of behavior, such as the way you talk to and address your partner, hand them a drink, carry yourself when others are around, or present yourself to them in varying situations. Protocols are brilliant for reinforcing the D/s dynamic. Broadly speaking, you’re not often reminded of protocols unless you misstep. So something as simple as remembering to stand to your girlfriend’s left and wait quietly if she’s talking to someone at a party can reinforce your submission to her.

Discipline is about reinforcing the dynamic and enforcing rules and protocols. Mistakes are made, rules forgotten. We’re all human. That is when discipline comes in. The transgression is addressed, punishment handed out, and then the slate is wiped clean. Add in some affection after the fact and you’ve just reinforced everything you are working towards together. The intimacy required for this is pretty damn intense, and it’s important to know each other well before diving in.

Structure is key in a D/s dynamic, because without consistency, it can all fall apart. Rules that aren’t enforced are unlikely to be followed. A Dom who allows his sub to get away with everything isn’t likely to keep the respect he has earned. And respect and reverence are part and parcel of the whole kneeling thing. Likewise, a submissive who is constantly fighting the rules she agreed to isn’t respecting the dynamic, and isn’t doing her part to make it work. D/s is a lot of work for both partners, and isn’t something to be jumped into too quickly or taken lightly.

—–

Now, to review, you can mix and match the forms of power exchange however suits you and your partner(s). And it is often different from one partner to the next. Some people fit the classic roles of Dom/Top/Sadist and Sub/Bottom/Masochist. Some people switch between sadism and masochism, while always remaining a Dom and top. Some people switch between topping and bottoming. Do you see the point I’m getting at here?

You can be any combination of those six roles in any given relationship, and that includes NOT being one of them, even when, traditionally, the others may apply.

Wanting to be in control in the bedroom does NOT automatically make you a Dom. (Say it again for the fuckboys in the back.)

Enjoying rough sex and spanking does NOT automatically make you a sub.

And you can very well be a Dom who doesn’t physically punish his sub or enjoy rough sex. And you can easily be a submissive who does not get spanked.

The definition of these terms is much broader than my summary, and will differ from person to person. Don’t pigeonhole yourself by feeling you need to adhere to a stereotypical definition of any of these terms or roles.

He had my wrists pinned above my head, his lower arms caging my face as he fucked me, crowding me with his primal need, his raw scent, that wild look that signalled a whole night ahead. It was with deliberate, deep thrusts that he tunnelled into my clenching, wet cunt, watching my instinctual reaction each time: back arching, lips open, gasping, my eyes rolling back with the pleasure-spun invasion.

That was it – the moment he lowered his lips to mine and swept his tongue into my pink, needy mouth. It was a kiss of dominance, all-consuming and devouring. A kiss that held my tongue ransom. It seared my nerves with pleasure that spiralled straight down my spine to my swelling clit. And then, as quickly as he intruded, he withdrew to leave me underneath him, wide-eyed and panting and searching for more.

Fuck. I wanted that again. I needed it again. I wordlessly tilted my mouth up, in search for more. Please, please, my mind sang. But he pulled away from my seeking mouth, simultaneously thrusting into me and grinding against my swollen clit.

“Ahh please please pleeease…” I groaned, trying to reach his lips but still held down by my wrists.

“Please, what, little one?” He managed to sound almost-casual, but his eyes gave him away. The sadist was dancing through them.

Fuck. Surely he wasn’t going to make me say it. I couldn’t beg for a kiss. I couldn’t.

“Pleeease, please…” I tried again.

“No. Ask me properly, little slut. Ask me properly for what you want.”

Another penetrating thrust that had me whimpering. And I knew it was ridiculous not to ask. I had previously begged him for such filthy things. Wanton things that made my cheeks blaze in the fresh daylight of the next morning. This was just a kiss. Not as innocent as it sounded when it was instigated by his mouth, but still, a kiss.

Yet there was a part of me that couldn’t bear to hear those words leave my lips. His eyes stormed with arousal as he watched my inner turmoil. Pride over surrender. Need over shame. Longing over humiliation.

But submissiveness always wins in his presence.

“P-please… please, Sir… will you kiss me?”