nobodysreadingme

This is a real corker. Back when I used  to do health and training, I specialised in People Moving Loads, renaming this as Shifting Stuff Safely. Seemed to fit the bill more neatly. I’d get audience member to show me how they’d do it now. Don’t actually do it just pantomime it. ‘Why do you do it that way?’ ‘Oh, we’ve always done it that way.’ In my head, this was known as WADITWA. You and…

I wrote at length on Saturday about words, how I like language, like playing with it. Now I want to mash things up a bit. You’re all familiar with earworms. You hear a really crap single you don’t even like and it’s stuck in your head irritating you, for hours and hours. Please make it stop! To no avail. I have what I call brainworms, shoehorning themselves into the already cluttered maelstrom…

I was flattered a day or so ago. Somebody complimented me on the language that I use here on NRM. That’s very good news indeed. I spend a lot of time getting the words right. I’m very selective, and I’m glad that it shows. It helps that I write in English. With 171,000-odd words on tap, not to mention 47,000 ‘obsolete’ words (not in my world, I still use some of them), somewhere there’s the very…

What do you think about octopus? I happen to like them a lot. I’ve mentioned this before. I mean I like them. I used to be very partial to octopus as a foodstuff. Then I saw one in the wild, and I said ‘Never again. No more polypi for me.’ They are bloody brilliant. Move slowly, they like being handled, and are fascinated by your ear canals. They’re affectionate to the point of soppy. Very…

I still feel like absolute dreck. But when I can get round to it, music will often give me a lift. Here’s as fine a piece of jazz funk as you’ll hear. When my girlfriend and I went to New York, we stood on the bank of the East River and sang this in the sunshine. We felt like Noo Yawkers. I don’t know anybody at all who remembers this.

I don’t feel up to jokes, I’m really sick. I’ll have a go. The loudest I can speak these days is a hoarse whisper. I’ve turned into The Hoarse Whisperer Boom Tish!

Yep, I was. I didn’t mean to be, I should have been jumping for joy and yodelling in the streets. Events have conspired against me there, of course. Monday evening, I had a knock on my door. I don’t like visitors arriving unannounced or unexpected, and I’d already had to tolerate a couple of gasfitters/plumbers. I have heating now, and hot water. AND they cleaned up after themselves. There’s…

I know, 2023 is not yet long in the tooth, but this one will take some beating. Pun intended. I have an occasional pop at ads that get on my tits. I do this from a position of knowledge. The most difficult audience you have to excite is NOT the intended target demographic. It’s some wet behind the ears, ‘I’ve got a brand new shiny MBA! Look! Now I think we should…’ I don’t care what you think.…

I’ve decided to go lighthearted and do another one of my occasional discontinuous partworks. I intend to tell you about adventures in DIY. This going to e a lot more fun than the subject might lead you to believe. It is. Honest. Many people freak at the idea of DIY. Start off small, work on up. A lot of it is very logical. Seriously. Usually. Not always… Start small? Change a ceiling light…

My brain is a bit faded, so I’m having trouble keeping up with events. The drugs don’t help much either. Anyway, some news. I’m in two minds about it to e honest. I have, apparently, been accepted for a fast-track placement with a local Arthur Rank nursing home/hospice. Rank is a very well respected operator in this field, no fly-by-night, rip ‘em off and run merchant. Rank himself was a rated…

Back in January, I lambasted severely some of the holidays I wouldn’t go on. Now I intend to go to town on some of the destinations I might give a bodyswerve. I hope this is coherent. I’m wrecked off my face on various medications. I’m having to do some very serious clutching onto support, because my various sensory systems are not cooperating with each other, not one little bit. My directional…

I’ve always been a bit clumsy. Even by childhood standards, I was precociously skilled at endangering life and limb by taking a tumble. I was once pratting about on a set of parallel bars in the local park, hanging upside down by my knees, mistimed  an oscillation, fell off straight off onto my head. KO’d myself. I wonder if this contributed to the mysterious scars on my brain they discovered at…

Try to avoid it. They have a use, but I found mine to be an intrusive impediment in many ways, and I didn’t like looking like an old git, even though most of you will readily agree I am an old git. There are lots of synonyms for ‘walking stick.’ Not all work. ‘Cane.’ Sort of, but it rather misses the point. ‘Cane’ smacks of Bertie Wooster on a bright Spring morning, setting off jauntily in his…

I’ve been far too ill to write since last Wednesday. I’m back in the saddle for now, if hungry and VERY unsteady on my feet. I am well hydrated though, even if puking blood. A lot. When Alison and I went to Kerala some years back, we very much enjoyed the place, and particularly the people. Domestic circumstances have forced me to be in Cambridge to be near Addenbrookes, and that means sharing a…

Zia McCabe’s keyboard intro work here sounds like there are spaceships landing in your back garden. It’s not music. I’m not sure what it is. But boy do I like it. The Dandy Warhols were always like that. You never knew what you were getting, You knew what you weren’t getting, though. Bass guitar.

Only one way to do this. I’ve always been straight with you. Or at least not devious. OK. Big breath. That’s me taking it, dumbo. 😊 A few months. That’s how long I’m likely to be around before the last flight for Avion Hirondelle taxis to the ground holding pattern. I bet I get a big technical delay. I was told several?. Medical prevarication. In medical terms ‘several’ is anywhere between 2024…

Have you ever tried these? You will have if you’ve ever been to Holland or Belgium, because they are not easily forgotten. If not, rectify that real quick. There are organised celebrations of oliebollen. I am not kidding. I’m not sure how to describe them, though they are deliciously weight-enhancing. They really are yummy. I dunno how to describe them accurately, but basically doughballs with…