April 20. Today marks 19 years since one of the most shocking events in American history. Two teenage boys who were bullied and made fun of decided to open fire at their school, Columbine High School. Injured around 25. Killed 12 students and a teacher before taking their own lives.

Dear Eric, I’ve been staring at my phone for so long because I honestly don’t know how to put it in words. I wish you could haven known this wasn’t the answer. I wish you could have known there were another ways. I wish those students weren’t so mean to you. I wish you could have known there were still people out there who understood how you felt. I understand. I do. I wish you could have stayed strong but I know you tried. You tried so hard and I am so deeply sorry about what you had to go through that made you think this was the only solution. I’m crying writing this. I hope they have slim jim wherever you are.

Dear Dylan, I wish you could have known you were (and still are) loved by so many people. I wish you could have known you were indeed a sunshine boy with kind heart and so much love to give. I know people who truly known you knew you wasn’t a monster. Neither you nor Eric were monsters. Both of you were two boys who were treated the wrong way, who were bullied to the point of believing taking your own lives and others was the only way and I am so sorry. I am so sorry for what you both had to go through. Both of you could have got a scholarship, great jobs and a chance to live a happy life. I am so truly sorry for how cruel this world was to you.

I wish I could hug both of you and tell you everything was going to be okay and that there was no need to do what you did at all. Both of you deserve so much better.

Wherever both of you are, I’m sending both of you all my love and prayers.

I’m sending my love and prayers to all the families and 15 victims - including Reb and Vodka - I hope you all find peace.