ive been telling myself my whole life

Status 1: extremely fragile ball of every emotion

Status 2: no longer wanted to be fragile ball, became spikey resilient ball of emotions

Status 3: didn't like either of those, felt better and became functional human capable of mature communication and reconciliation in times of distress

Status 4: flourishing happiness under newfound ability to communicate well and resolve issues quickly without taking them personally. (I thought this was the final stage; self actualization)

Status 5: stopped over communicating my needs thinking "hey over communication gets me in more trouble than under communication seems to. People who care about me can probably figure out my feelings by now without having to explain them in grave detail"

Status 6: spoiler alert, people aren't mind readers, but if they do care enough, they'll pick up cues and then I can explain why I feel that way right?

Status 7: I start to get upset that cues aren't picked up or acknowledged. I double down to prove my worth that I shouldn't need to state my feelings for them to be understood.

Status 8: spoiler alert pt 2... when I'm not acknowledged, I feel abandoned. Especially when after feeling abandonment, there is no effort to reconcile. I close off. I become a recluse. I lose my ability to communicate effectively. I yearn to fix everything but am void of the wisdom needed to do so. My emotional state is out of balance with my logic state. They're fighting for first place. My emotions are winning driving the hole deeper. Communication ability is dwindling and the silent treatment is the best I can hope for.