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I used to be whimsical

But now I’m full of dread

No matter how hard I try

Can’t get out of my head

How come most people get love,

And I’m only meant to give?

Do you know how empty it is?

To have never wanted to live?

I wish I was being dramatic

Wish it was a lie

Maybe I’ll be brave one day

And finally fucking die

But for now I’m a coward

Who doesn’t know what she wants

With no friends or lovers

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder

But being away from you makes me need you less

And maybe you think I was toxic

But sometimes I still feel you stuck in my chest

Maybe you tell everyone I’m the villain in your story

But all I ever wanted from you was an « I’m sorry »

You were never the one to admit your mistakes

“I have a feeling you got everything you wanted

and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me.

You’re just thinking it’s a small thing that happened

The world ended when it. happened. to. me.

You caught me once, maybe on the flipside you could catch me again?”

- Flipside by Lana Del Rey 🖤

I fear that I might be destined to love you forever

But you’ll never think of me again

You were my “and they lived happily ever after”

But I was your “means to an end”

A note in the margins that never did matter

Inconsequential and easy to erase

I’ll never be the girl you bring to the altar

“I hope I get to love you in another life”

Is what you said to me that night

But I think you were destined to lose me

Over and over, in every universe instead

I loved you then and I love you now

It was all I knew how to do

Even as a naive young child

I knew it would always be you

And people live to say you know nothing when you’re young

But they don’t have a clue

I’ve been in love with you since time begun

The world doesn’t want us together anymore

And neither do I

If I saw you again now

I couldn’t look you in the eye

And I know you’re not the only one to blame

But all I do is lie

And I had to convince myself

It was you who left us high and dry

I was in pain for so long

And you didn’t even flinch

There are no losers or victors in our story

But you still thought you’d win

But now that you’re awake

You can see it clearly now

I’m the one that’s sinking

But you’ll be the one who drowns

Cause I’ll give my best to somebody else

And you’ll be left to wonder

Was I the bullet you thought you’d dodge

Or was I the lightning to your thunder?

Now that we’re older

We can both see the truth

I was never the strongest soldier