My dad became a US citizen today.

As much as I rage about this imperialist country, I cannot belittle my dad’s enthusiasm and joy when he called me to tell me the news.

He was so excited because now he can petition to have my abuelita come to the US and be able to see my tio whom she hasn’t seen in over 20 years.

I want everyone to really know the kind of person you really are because you have everyone else fooled but not me. I remember you telling me if I ever cheated on you, you would kill me. Ever since I was scared of you but no matter what I still stayed. I put up through all the shit. Even after all the times you’ve actually told me i deserve to die. That I was nothing but a disgusting fat piece of shit fuck boy. You claim to be this whole body friendly person but would ridicule me for the bit of fat I had. Even after you would say fuck my mom for raising such a fuck boy that she was never a good mother despite all the shit she did for me, you and for us. I just can’t believe you have become this fucking person to me. Everyone actually fucking believes you’re a goddess and now worships you the way I used to. I still can’t believe that after that first look you gave me when you first saw me that it would end up like this. What a fucking fool I was.

Fuck I know I made my fucking mistakes and I tried to make up for them but did I really fucking deserve this? Tell me. Did I. I know I was a piece of shit too but didn’t I try? Did I ever really fucking physically and verbally abuse you the way you did? I pride myself for never being able to lay a finger on you or even want to call you something so disrespectful that I would actually try to hurt your soul and character.

often the guy is the monster and I’m tired of being the monster. Yeah i fell to temptation when you would push me away but can you fucking blame me. I guess I truly am a monster then.