a little fall of rain

Her slumber was interrupted by tones that she’d grown far too accustomed to, the voice filtering gently into her mind as she unwillingly stirred from the clutches of sleep. “Good morning, my lady.” Her butler’s voice sank into her mind and she could only groan, rolling over and steadfastly ignoring Hongbin’s voice. “Today’s tea is Darjeeling.” He said quietly as he poured a cup for his mistress who was still refusing to acknowledge his presence. “For breakfast, smoked salmon and pain de campagne, accompanied with an assortment of fresh fruits.”

“Hongbin, go away…” Her voice came out from under the blankets, always refusing to wake up when he first called for her.

“Unfortunately, my lady, you have engagements shortly and lessons today to attend.” He replied calmly, his voice never faltering as he set the cup of tea carefully down on the tray he’d brought into the room, currently resting on the unfolded stand.

“Five more minutes, then…” She grumbled unhappily, and his soft laughter echoed around the sparsely decorated room.

“You said that five minutes ago, and five minutes before that, my lady. It is now time to arise.” He said, leaning over to tug the mint stuffed bunny out of his mistress’ arms, knowing that it would get her at least sitting up, if only in anger.

Predictably, she shot to a sitting position, her expression startled and angry. “What the fuck, Lee Hongbin —!” She exclaimed, snatching for the bunny that her butler easily kept out of her grasp.

“Language, my lady.” He chastised gently with a shake of his head and his lips curved up at the corners. “It wouldn’t do to have any of your guests hear that, coming from the head of the household.” His eyes were dancing with amusement as he dangled the stuffed bunny just out of her reach, knowing that if nothing else could, the loss of her most treasured bedtime companion could. “It is time to arise, now. I’d suggest you start before I am forced to do something we’ll both regret, my lady.” With the most innocent (and devilish, all at the same time) smile on his face, he made as though to rip the poor stuffed bunny’s arm from its body.

“No!” She shouted, scrambling out of bed hastily and lunging for her bunny, her eyes glinting. She’d seen the fear in the bunny’s eyes as it was threatened — never mind that it wasn’t actually a living thing and therefore could not be afraid, the bunny was as good as a friend to her.

His purpose accomplished, he easily handed the bunny back to her, making the bed so the option of crawling back into bed was eliminated, gesturing for her to sit down on the edge of the bed as he always did. “Now, my lady, I suggest you begin on breakfast. Your violin tutor will arrive in just under an hour and a half.” He checked his watch, his lips curving up in a rather sadistic smile. “Oh. I lied. You only have an hour. Have a wonderful day, my lady. I will return shortly.” He snickered faintly as he swept out of the room, ignoring the indignant shout from behind him.

A soft hum left his lips, his hands absently shaking the white dress shirt straight as he stepped delicately into his mistress’ room. “You should be getting ready for bed, my lady.” He chastised the young lady who still sat determinedly at the wide desk her room housed.

A soft groan of protest was the only answer he received from her before a sullen voice came. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that, Hongbin?” She arched a delicate eyebrow, though her complaint was something long heard and something that Hongbin rather made a point of ignoring. After all, she was his mistress, bound by a Faustian contract, the symbol of which graced her left collarbone, the lines delicately tied to her pale skin. For the moment, she was his everything, the pivot upon which his universe rotated.

“As many times as you would like, my lady.” He replied easily, his lips quirking up in a small smile as he carefully laid the shirt over her lap, undoing the dress that she wore for her, a fancy thing that she loathed but tradition dictated she wear. The sight of her body, lovely as it was, showed no signs of affecting him, the butler long accustomed to the vision. Once she had dressed herself in the oversized shirt she favored so, he held the chair in front of her dressing table for her to seat herself in, the mirror bearing witness to her slender figure. His fingers tangled into soft black hair, loosening the silky strands from the elegant updo he’d twisted her hair into in the morning, and long strands fell around his fingers in a cascade of ebony. His fingers combed through the waterfall of silk, untangling the few knots that had accumulated over the course of the day, tying it off carefully into a ponytail that hung straight down her back, the ribbon a light shade of blue, his own auburn hair falling into his eyes as he helped her stand up.

Slim fingers brushed against his forehead, and he watched as she lifted a hand to brush the auburn strands out of crimson eyes, her own lips quirking up slightly. “You look stupid.” She told him nonchalantly, her voice cool and her expression disinterested, her butler’s lips curving up at the corners, clearly taking no offense to the statement.

“Thank you, my lady.” His voice held the hints of amusement, ignoring the heavy sigh she gave off, this routine altogether too common in the household.

“You’re an idiot, Hongbin. Stop talking.” She commanded with a long suffering sigh, glancing away from him as she climbed into bed, the edges of one of his dress shirts that she’d taken to using as pajamas fluttering around her thighs.

“As you wish, miss.” He bantered back easily, pressing his lips together deliberately, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he held back the covers for her, tucking the blankets around her.

“Such an idiot…” She sighed quietly, laying her head down on the pristine pillows, peering up at her butler through now-sleepy eyes. “Give me a kiss, Hongbin.” It was a demand, something not borne out of love, per say, but affection nonetheless, reciprocated as best as the demon butler could. He was fond of her, and while they had not been bound together long enough for him to claim any sort of deep emotional connection to her, he could honestly say that he was protective of her (one might argue that the contract dictated he needed to be) and that her presence was pleasing to him. Of all humans to have summoned him, he thought his luck had been rather good. And she — she liked him perhaps more than she’d ever like to admit, a hidden affection that manifested itself in demands that Hongbin never seemed to mind fulfilling.

Obediently, he leaned in, pressing his lips gently against hers, a hand sliding into her hair and deftly undoing the ribbon, silk spreading across the pillows, and he felt her lips move gently against his, though she did not lift her head, a slim hand snaking into his own hair, tugging gently at auburn strands. When they parted, she sighed softly against his lips, a sleepy little sound escaping her, and he straightened, smiling slightly as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Goodnight, my lady. Sleep well.” He wished quietly as he took a half step away from the bed, pausing as he felt fingers clutching at his, her face turned away from him. When no explanation was forthcoming, he raised an eyebrow, “my lady?” Her title was phrased as a question, the sound lilting up at the end and she exhaled softly, a barely-there puff of air, before an answer forced its way past reluctant lips.

“Stay with me until I fall asleep.” Her voice was barely audible, and he smiled slightly in response, seating himself on the edge of the bed, capturing her fingers more securely in his own.

The phone call startles her out of slumber, and her eyes widen, her sleepy voice gaining life as she chatters excitedly through the line. “What? Yeah, I’ll be there right away!” The excited tones cause her husband to stir, a soft, sleepy sound escaping his lips as he sits up quietly.

“What is it, dearest?” His voice is clearly drowsy, but the light in his wife’s eyes wakes him up a little bit. She leans down to kiss him in response, arms wrapping around his neck as she leans her head against his shoulder for just a moment.

“Guess who’s a father, now?” She laughs, her eyes crinkling up at the corners as she climbs out of bed to retrieve their stirring son, gathering him into her arms before she retakes her spot next to her husband, leaning comfortably against his solid body, yawning a little bit. “It’s an unholy hour of the morning, but we should go see them.” She blinks up at him with a soft smile painted onto her lips, caressing their son’s face with a gentle finger.

“He’s a father too…” Her husband’s awed voice sounds in her ear as he touches their son’s cheek, and she can’t help but grin up at him.

“Right? I can’t believe she actually gave in. I mean, I saw her just yesterday, but still… even after all these months, it never really sunk in. Come on, let’s go, Taekwoon-ah.” She clambers out of bed, careful not to disturb their son, tucking him gently back into bed so she can change. The two and a half year old slumbers on peacefully, still and surprisingly not awakened by the commotion. It doesn’t take her long to shimmy into clothing, carefully dressing their son afterwards. “Ready to go, love?” She calls out with a smile, her eyes crinkling up as she carefully bundles their son into his jacket.

“Mm.” He murmurs in reply as he reaches for their son, already prepared to head off to the car, leaving his wife some time to get dressed for the cold. It was a silent trip, but the comfortable kind of silence that leaves them both less jittery than before. He knows his wife is nervous, far more so than he is — it’s her best friend in the hospital room, who’s the one in danger, and he glances over at her quietly. “They’re fine.” It’s a quiet reassurance that brings a small smile onto her face and she nods gratefully in his direction.

“I love you,” she replies with a smile and as they pull into the parking lot, he sends her off with a reassurance that he’ll bring their son in. He knows that she’s worried, despite how well she’s hiding it. It’s not like he minds cradling their son, their treasure, and he simply smiles as she pecks his lips, rushing off to join her friend.

When he finally enters the room, it’s to his wife holding a bundle of blankets in her arms, cooing over the newborn girl. Hongbin stands there, his eyes glinting with adoration as he watches his new daughter, his hand interlaced with his wife’s. He can’t help but smile slightly, noticing how Jess looks utterly exhausted and rather grumpy, but there’s a new light glinting in her eyes that he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before.

“Look, Taekwoon-ah!” His wife calls with a wide smile on her lips. “She’s… so beautiful.” Her voice is gently awed, her gaze fixed on the sleeping face of the girl in her arms. “Jess, she’s perfect…” She whispers as she carefully scoots back to take a seat next to her best friend, cooing softly.

“I’m tired,” her friend complains, and she muffles a gentle laugh, pressing her lips together. It’s just like her friend to complain even in situations like this, although they all know full well that it’s not really how she feels.

“Thank you,” Hongbin’s voice comes from the other side of the bed, and Mei carefully hands back the couple’s new daughter to them with all the ease of a practiced mother, feeling as though she’s intruding on a very intensely private moment. Lips press against a sweaty forehead, his hand cupping her cheek. “Thank you for our daughter, jagi.”

“Mama?” A sleepy voice comes from Taekwoon’s arms. The sleep-heavy expression that focuses on his auntie and uncle notices the new bundle, and he pushes lightly at his daddy’s chest in an attempt to get down. He totters over towards the bed, trying to get up onto the bed and peer at the newcomer, his expression utterly fascinated. It requires some help, but eventually he’s sitting on the bed next to his auntie, and he blinks up at her quietly. “Baby?” He coos quietly, leaning against his auntie’s shoulder and he tilts his head quietly. “Play with baby?” He asks hopefully, his eyes brightening as he curls close to his auntie’s side, ignoring the heavy sigh from the new mother.

“Not today, baby.” Mei chastises gently, reaching out to smooth down her son’s hair quietly. “Maybe another day, when auntie and uncle and baby are more well rested, okay?” Thankfully, sleepy as he is, he’s too sleepy to put up a proper fight, and he just yawns, nodding quietly as his head lolls gently. She smiles wryly at her friend in apology for her son, though she has to admit that there are no regrets about the adorable sight of Jess with a child in her arms and another tucked by her side.

(Not that she would ever admit it, knowing that her best friend would likely throw a fit and attempt to murder her. No, thank you. She quite likes being alive.)

A soft inhale betrays Hongbin’s surprise, his eyes widening as he stares at his wife. “Wh… What did you just say?” His voice trembles as he reaches out to take her hand, ignoring the heavy flush of embarrassment that washes over her cheeks.

“Don’t make me fucking say it again…” She mutters rebelliously, ducking her head as though angry, but in reality, she’s only embarrassed and they both know it.

“We’re going to be parents?” He whispers in disbelief, his eyes wide, his lips trembling slightly, and there’s moisture sparkling quietly in his eyes. Holding himself back from crying feels like it’s taking so much effort — he needs to cry, he feels it. There’s a happiness swelling in his chest, and he feels like he could burst from sheer joy. Reaching forward, he tugs his startled wife into his arms, lips pressing against her head and he muffles a soft sound in short hair, his fingers trembling against the back of her head and her waist. “We’re going to be parents…” He repeats, as though once was not enough to reassure him, to tell him that yes, this was really happening. It felt as though he was in a dream, one long forgotten that he’d set aside in the face of his wife’s stubborn refusal for children.

“Shut up, you twat,” she mutters into his shoulder, practically crushed against his body. “I regret everything.” Her voice is disgruntled but she obviously doesn’t mean it, and Hongbin knows this.

“I love you,” he whispers in the face of her grumpy replies, holding onto her tightly. His family. His wife and his unborn child — their unborn child; everything he’d ever hoped for and everything he hadn’t thought he would have a chance at getting. Not with idol life going as it had been, not with the hectic schedules and the sleepless nights.

“Sap.” She huffs softly into the soft fabric of his sweater as her arms wind around his waist in response. “I love you too, idiot.” Her voice is hushed and if he ever questions her, she’ll deny that it ever happened, but this is the truth, laid down to bare bones and exhaled on breaths of wind.

She's honestly nervous as she holds the phone in her hands, not sure what to do or say even though she knows she has to tell Mei, or her friend would probably murder her for not being the first person to find out. (Literally the first person. She hadn't even told her husband yet considering he was out doing something business-y with Wonshik and wouldn't be back until later. Something about a photobook he had said. Whatever.) 

Jess' fingers are shaking as she quickly clicks on Mei's contact information on her phone to call her, swallowing nervously and she hangs up the moment she hears her friend's voice on the other line. 

The phone in her hand buzzes almost immediately after she's hung up the call with the older girl's number and she sighs, steeling herself before she picks up after a few rings. Damn it all, she thinks before she picks up, not even getting a chance to answer. 

"What the fuck." 

"Uh ..." 

"Why would you call me and then hang up?" 

"... My finger slipped."

"........"

"Anyways, meet me at the cafe in ten minutes, okay? Bye!" 

She hangs up, moving to change and she can't help but feel even more nervous. But, this wasn't something that she should tell someone, especially her best friend, over a text message or something. (Not to mention, Mei would literally kill her for telling her something this important over a measly text message.) Jess sighs to herself before she leaves the house, heading to the cafe with her hands shoved in her pockets. It may be spring, but it was still cold. 

When she gets to the cafe, she sees her friend already waiting there, seeming like she was out of breath and she can't help but laughs in surprise. 

"I didn't actually mean ten minutes you know," she quips lightly, amused and she hides a smile in her scarf when Mei looks downright murderous, throwing a mitten in her direction. Jess doesn't even try to dodge it, or catch it, letting it hit her chest and watching it fall to the ground. 

"Come on, I need to tell you something." 

"What the fuck --" 

Jess just laughs, stepping into the cafe and welcoming the warmth from inside, waiting for her friend to join her at a little table after she orders two drinks. 

When they're finally both sat down at a table in her cafe, facing each other, she can already see that Mei is half confused and half annoyed and ready to burst at all the shit she had pulled and she takes  long sip from her caramel macchiato to try to calm her nerves down. 

"Jessica Nguyen, tell me right now why the fuck you --" 

"I'm ... pregnant." 

"-- called me out -- wait, what? You're what?!" 

She makes a face at her friend, scrunching up her nose and she shakes her head, waving her hands to get the older girl to stop. 

"Please don't make me say it again. It's fucking weird as it is, okay?"

"Mrs. I-hate-kids-and-I'm-never-going-to-have-kids-ever-even-though-Hongbin-is-begging is pregnant?" There's disbelief and surprise laced throughout Mei's voice and Jess can't help but flush bright red, ducking her head slightly as she glances away. 

"Yes, now shut the fuck up Mrs. I-told-you-so. I haven't told him yet and you're going to ruin the surprise by telling Taekwoon and I'll never hear the end of it." 

She groans right after, sipping on her macchiato sullenly as her friend gazes at her with bright, adoring eyes, and shes obviously much happier than she should be. (Jess almost wishes she would go back to being pissed off at her. Honestly. The bright smile is sort of creepy and she's almost scared for what's going to be said next.) 

"You're going to look so cute when you're pregnant!" 

The bell rings to signify the entrance of a customer, and she glances up, her lips already forming the shape of a greeting absently as her eyes lift. The greeting dies halfway on her lips, bubbling instead into a startled sound and she rolls her eyes. “Oh, it’s you.” She says with a playfully distasteful tone, as though the newcomer is unwelcome and unwanted. Instead of an offended response, there’s simply a short laugh, the baby carrier attached to her front clearly holding her month-old son.

“Wow, it’s nice to see you too,” she replies with a chuckle and a shake of the head. A hand smoothes gently over fine baby hair, the little boy cradled against her barely even stirring, the walk over clearly having put him to sleep. “Ready to go for lunch?” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear as she waits, her long hair pulled up into a ponytail to keep it out of her son’s sleeping face.

She only smirks in response, her short hair settling neatly around her face as it always does as she grabs her jacket, slinging it over her shoulder casually. “Like I would go to lunch with you,” she retorts even as she walks out of the café, and Mei only rolls her eyes, already well accustomed to the language and behaviors of her long-time friend.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re such a laugh riot.” She mutters before she glances down at her sleeping son, smiling fondly down at him.

“… You’re such a fucking sap, Mei.” Jess glances back at her now clearly insane friend, still not quite understanding how exactly she’d managed to get herself roped into marriage and a child — but then, the older girl has always been far more receptive to the idea. (And the fact that she’s head over heels for Taekwoon doesn’t hurt matters any.) On the other hand, as for herself, she still sometimes wonders how exactly Hongbin (the shithead) had managed to talk her into getting engaged. She’s never been one to declare her feelings out loud, or to the public. She loves him, she does, but it’s not something she’ll ever admit to anyone listening.

“At least I’m not a stubborn idiot.” She huffs back, half joking. The other half of her, however, is a side her friend has made long clear to her. Mei is one of the few people that she willingly confesses her feelings to, and it’s from that confidence that the older girl often encourages her to stop being so afraid to show her fiancé how she really feels. And she does, sometimes. She does admit to Hongbin that she is fond of him, very much so, but she still doesn’t feel comfortable with being sappy and… well, coupley, like Mei and Taekwoon often are.

“Shut up,” Jess grumbles in reply, glaring at the older girl, who simply laughs while glancing away, shaking her head faintly in amusement. Glancing back at the sleeping baby strapped securely against her friend, and then at the utterly content expression on the older girl’s face, she can’t help but wonder what exactly about all of this makes her friend practically glow with happiness. Her mind betrays her, her thoughts flitting to whether or not something like this — a child of her own — could possibly make her happy, too. She hates children. She really does, but the way Mei smiles is something entirely different from her usual expressions.

“I’m glad you had time today, though.” Mei’s voice cuts through her thoughts and she glances up with a questioning look on her face. “I’ve missed spending time with you, you know? Just going out like this. It was kind of hard when I looked like a balloon and had to waddle everywhere, and then being stuck at home because of the surgery…” She makes a face, a childishly silly one, as she glances down at the infant in her arms again. “Well, it’s nice to be up and about.” She shrugs slightly, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby. “Bet you didn’t miss not having me around to bother you.” The older girl teases good-naturedly, knowing full well that their personalities are nothing alike, but at the same time, she also knows that her statement is inaccurate. They’ve been friends for long enough that both of their lives feel strange without the other in it.

“You’re not allowed to have babies anymore.” Jess replies snippily, and that’s enough answer for the new mother, her eyes crinkling up at the corners as she bounces her son gently in the carrier.

“I think Taekwoon might have something to say about that,” the older girl laughs as the baby boy in her arms stirs, cooing softly in his sleep and she soothes him gently upon instinct, really not knowing what she’s doing, but the feelings inside her directing her to act naturally, her arms secure around her child’s body.

“He can baby Hongbin instead,” she mutters lowly since her friend’s husband has already done that for years now. Mei muffles a laugh in response, knowing full well that Taekwoon does tend to do that with Hongbin, much to Jess’ clear exasperation.

“You’d think he’d have stopped… both of them.” She shakes her head in amusement, brushing her hair away from her face, grateful that it’s summer and that there’s no risk of her accidentally suffocating her son with a huge scarf or something. “Taekwoon is going to be thirty this year.” She winces slightly at the number, though she has a fond smile on her face, and she shakes her head slightly. “And Hongbin will be twenty-seven… and both of them still act like children with each other.” Her voice is affectionate despite the slightly exasperated tone and she can’t help the small smile as she sighs over their significant others.

“I’m done with them.” Jess declares firmly as she stalks away. “Coming or not? I’m not waiting for you."

"Rude!" Mei calls back in amusement, her eyes belying the happiness in her eyes. "You're not going to starve by waiting for me!" Despite her friend's outer prickliness, she knows full well that Jess cares deeply for those close to her, and that she's less averse to Hongbin's affections and pet names than she pretends to be.

“Did I really have to come over?” Jess laments as she steps into the cozy little house, her friend’s lips quirking up at the corners, eyebrow arching.

“You mean you didn’t want to see me?” Her voice is sugary sweet, teasing but also dangerous at the same time and she shakes her head with a playful roll of her eyes. “Rude,” she sings out before she turns, beckoning the couple at the door into the house with a soft smile. “They’re this way, but keep quiet — he’s sleeping right now.” Her eyes are bright with adoration despite the clear exhaustion that shadows her eyes, and her figure vanishes into the living room where her husband is.

“Are you sure you should be standing —” Hongbin starts before she disappears, and excited child that he still is (despite the fact that he’s pushing twenty-seven now), he is far too easily distracted and winds up bouncing into the other room all too excitedly. Jess, with everyone else already in the room, is left with no real choice but to follow them in, heaving a heavy sigh. It’s not that she doesn’t want to see her friend’s son, that’s not it — okay, she doesn’t really want to see him, because children, but it’s Mei’s son and she knows the other girl would quite literally, attempt to murder her if she refused. She also knows, though her friend wouldn’t express it publicly, that her refusal would wound the older girl deeply. And so, with these thoughts in mind, she sighs as she enters the room to see her fiancé cooing over the sleeping bundle in Taekwoon’s arms.

“Hyung, he’s so cute —” The younger male coos happily as he peers at the baby boy from as many angles as he can get, his expression fascinated at the way the little bundle doesn’t move at all, face peaceful in sleep.

“He is, isn’t he?” He whispers quietly as he gazes down at his sleeping son, his wife’s cheek pressed against his arm, her smile curving up her lips quietly as she relaxes against the sturdy figure of her husband. “He’s perfect.” Taekwoon’s voice is utterly awed, all the joy of a new father glimmering in deep brown pools. Hongbin, studying the utterly infatuated expression of his previous bandmate, gets this odd little glint in his eyes before he nudges his fiancée.

“… Jess? Can we have one, too? I want one, pleaaaaaase —” His voice takes on a wheedling tone and his expression is ridiculously hopeful, his eyes sparkling with hope at the idea of potentially getting his own ‘baby bean’, as he would later put it. The expression that comes over Jess’ face is nearly laughable, the sheer horror that flashes through her eyes eliciting a soft, exhausted laugh from her friend.

“It’s really not that bad, Jess… Don’t look so horrified at the idea.” She seems amused, her eyes half open as she leans against her husband, reaching for their son quietly and settling the sleeping bundle into her arms.

Her friend stares at her blankly, as though she’s crazy (though, in Jess’ opinion, she probably is). “You’re practically under fucking house arrest, don’t tell me it’s not that bad.” She deadpans with a disbelieving opinion, arms crossing over her chest and she huffs. “No, Hongbin, and that’s that.” Mei’s lips only curve up in response to her friend’s prickly response, knowing that the younger girl is more receptive to the idea than she likes to pretend. In her arms, the baby boy stirs quietly and she glances down at the now open eyes of their sleepy son, smiling slightly and she glances over at her husband for help getting up. Obediently, he helps her to her feet, and it doesn’t take her all too long to walk out of the room slowly, murmuring quiet words to the baby fussing in her arms.

After a long pause, during which Taekwoon stares after his wife and son, Hongbin finally speaks up hopefully. “… I really want one…” He tugs on his fiancée’s hand pleadingly. “Jess? Please, jagi? Look at how cute he is — ours will be even cuter because of you!” His eyes sparkle and Taekwoon looks ready to interject (probably with something about how no baby will ever be cuter than his), but Hongbin cuts him off with a kick to the shin, his eyes never leaving his fiancée. “Pleaaaaaase?”

Silence is the only thing that comes from his fiancée, but Hongbin doesn’t relent, his puppy eyes in full swing and he peeks up at her hopefully, having squatted a tiny bit to try and get the full effect of his adorable looks working. A few more moments of silence, another heavy sigh, and she mutters, “… You fucking — I’ll fucking think about it, okay. Now stop bothering me, you little shithead.” She grumbles angrily as her fiancé cheers rather loudly, flopping down onto the couch happily. The sound of her fiancé humming ‘baby beans, baby beans’ to himself is rather exasperating, Jess thinks as she growls under her breath.

Little clouds of mist billow into the cold winter air, hot air steaming up the chilliness of the crisp breeze before it, too, fades. He continues to breathe out, his eyes focused as he even tries to make designs with the breath leaving his mouth. He’s so caught up, he completely neglects where he is and the people around him.

“I don’t know you, you fucking weirdo.” The dry voice of his girlfriend comes from behind him, her expression unamused, and he spins around with a grin. He’s far too used to this kind of treatment for it to actually be something that bothers him, knowing full well that his girlfriend says it in all affection.

“You’re here!” He exclaims, pulling her into his arms, resting his chin on her head, and he can’t help the huge, dimpled smile on his face. Gently, he pulls back to press a soft kiss to her forehead, his eyes warm with the affection he never bothers to hide from her, and the dramatic sigh that leaves her lips along with the tiniest smile is his indication that she’s happy to see him too. She’s dressed warmly; they both are, with the snow not quite falling yet but the air sharp and crisp, the remnants of fall dancing in the cold breeze

“No, I’m a figment of your imagination.” She deadpans in return, so reminiscent of the very first phone conversation they’d had, and his eyes light up at that, full of the warmth and sunshine she so craves, especially in the bitterly cold winter of Seoul.

“Well, I have to say, you’re looking very attractive today, figment of my imagination.” He compliments with a sincere smile and the resulting color that floods her cheeks has her hiding her face in her scarf.

“… Yeah, yeah. Flattery will get you nowhere.” She mutters, shifting slightly, uncomfortable with compliments even though her boyfriend hands them out like candy. “They’re late,” she complains instead, trying to draw the attention away from her and to their tardy friends, and Hongbin can only laugh.

“They’re not actually, jagi, you know that, right?” He says easily, and her cheeks go even redder at the nickname, her lips parting slightly in shock. Silence reigns for a moment before her furious voice shatters the stillness.

“What the fuck, Lee Hongbin, you can’t just spring nicknames on me like that —” She protests, hitting his shoulder rather violently in her embarrassment and he only grins at her, dimples and everything. It’s impossible to stay angry at a smile like that, and she just glances away, pink dusting her cheeks.

“Stupid fucking cute dimpled bean,” she mutters, the insult not even really making sense in her embarrassment and she huffs, turning away from him. He can’t help the grin on his face and he steps forward to follow her, arms wrapping around her waist as he settles his chin on her head.

“I love you too, jagi,” he teases playfully before he dances back half a step to avoid the attempted kick at his shin. Just then, Jess’ phone buzzes and she blinks at it quietly before her eyes narrow.

[ iMessage to 자기 ♡ ] jesssssss we’re going to meet you at the restaurant okay ~ take your time and hold hands with binnie ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[ iMessage to 자기야 ♡ ] fuck you

[ iMessage to 자기 ♡ ] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

“They’re meeting us at the restaurant…” She sighs, her eyebrows furrowed slightly in annoyance. “Fucking Mei and her change of plans, I swear.” He leans down to kiss her forehead just as she’s about to say more, a finger pressing against her lips, and the angelic smile he gives her is nearly radiant.

She practically melts in his arms — not that she’d ever admit it, but he knows, he really does. “I don’t really mind, though. I get to walk with you!” He exclaims, and she groans quietly to herself. Cheesy. So cheesy. But she has no protests as he links their hands together, carefully weaving their fingers together, the chill of the winter air forgotten in the warmth of his affection, and she can’t help the small smile she flashes up at him and the warmth in her chest as he returns one in full force, dimples and all.

The walk is silent, their hands interlaced before he tugs her slightly closer and she blinks up at him, hesitantly leaning her head against his arm as they walk. The smile on his face is enough to light up the sky at night, and he squeezes her hand quietly to tell her that he’s more than happy like this. Begrudgingly, she admits to herself that maybe this was better than meeting at the park — at least this way, she doesn’t have to deal with her friend’s insufferable habit to tell her that she’s cute.

Just around the corner from the restaurant they’d reserved at, Hongbin stops her, turning her slightly with a soft smile. She arches an eyebrow in confusion, staring up at her (extremely attractive) boyfriend silently, waiting for him to say something or explain why he’d stopped them, just a minute from the entrance.

“I love you,” he whispers with a soft smile, his lips turned up at the corners and he leans down to press their lips together, tipping her head back slightly with a hand at the back of her neck, his lips soft against hers.

Her eyes close automatically and a small smile curves up her lips as she leans up on her tippy toes to press their lips together more, a hand snaking up to tangle in his hair.

A fleeting moment every day is more than enough to develop a friendship. At least, that’s what he likes to think to himself in the morning when he comes into work, his mind filled with the thoughts of a girl who visits at 7:35 AM sharp, every morning. She never stays long; he thinks she must have work at 8, but there’s always enough time to have a few words and a little chat about the day. He likes her smile, the way her eyes disappear when she really laughs, and he thinks to himself that this is something he wouldn’t mind seeing for more than fifteen minutes every weekday.

She’s reluctant to admit, sometimes, that perhaps she might find him cute. That perhaps he’s really someone she wouldn’t mind cultivating an interest in. But she’s always been like that, a little reluctant to see what’s sitting right in front of her, what she might have missed.

“Caramel macchiato?” He smiles at her kindly. 7:36 AM.

“Yeah,” she always replies. At first, it’d been just that, just that little bit, without even the hint of a smile, but he’s cheerful, he’s bright, even at ungodly hours of the morning, and he always persists. Just like he does with all his other customers. Then he makes her drink, almost always a regular caramel macchiato (it varies occasionally, depending on her mood). 7:39 AM. 

After the first few weeks of their acquaintanceship, he asks for her name. His lips turn up at the corner, dimples denting his cheeks, and she can’t help but smile back in his direction. The first time he gets to see her smile, he thinks nothing but, “Ah, this looks nice on her.” It’s not love at first sight. It’s not even friendship at first sight, but it’s a friendship that builds slowly over fifteen minutes every day for months.

She starts bringing another friend along after a month, another girl who still smiles brightly despite the early hour of the morning (which he often hears her complaining about, saying that it’s “too fucking early for this”). She’s sweet as well, but there’s something special about his favorite customer.

At some point, he realizes that maybe, he wants something more than just fifteen minutes a day with her. He doesn’t dare say anything, shy as he is; instead, he treasures those fifteen minutes more than ever, his eyes shy as they flicker to her face and away again, his voice always kind.

It’s almost painfully obvious, to those around him. Taekwoon sighs and tells him that he’s being an idiot, letting something as plainly obvious as her slip out of his hands, but he always rebuts with the fact that Taekwoon keeps eying her friend and never saying anything. Strangely enough, that always shuts the older male up.

It’s not a secret though, that she likes him equally as much, though. Mei confesses to Taekwoon quietly at the till while Jess is preoccupied with Hongbin that it’s painfully obvious how much the other male likes her friend, but that the good thing is that she, too, likes him. Since then, they’ve been meeting up quietly, outside of their friends’ knowledge, in an effort to bring the two oblivious students together.

“You still haven’t noticed?” Mei finally caves after weeks and months of pure obliviousness and Jess simply stares at her blankly. 

“… What are you going on about?” She asks blankly, an eyebrow arching in confusion and the older girl can only stare dumbly at her.

“You’re kidding me.” The older girl replies in frustration. “It’s legitimately been ages and you haven’t noticed?!” She demands with a pout on her face. Jess simply stares at her with a look on her face that indicates she clearly thinks the older girl has completely lost it. Impatiently, Mei lifts the cup to shove the side of the cup practically into her face. “Do you see the marks here? Just at the bottom of the sleeve?” She demands huffily before the cup sleeve is yanked down and there’s a number scrawled there in messy black Sharpie. “It’s literally been on the past month and a half’s worth of cups.” She says quietly before she sighs a bit. “He must be devastated.”

Abruptly, Jess’ phone is shoved into her hands and it’s with a sharp voice that Mei orders, “Call him. Now,” before she’s gone out the door again, doing who knows what. Hesitantly, with another glance up at the disappearing girl’s back, Jess types in the number written on the coffee cup, holding it to her ear.

“Hello?” A confused voice comes over the line.

“Hi, is this Hongbin…?” Her voice is hesitant and she hears the sound of something fumbling on the other end. 

“Ah, yes, it is! May I ask who’s calling?” His voice is polite as it always is, though he’s still clearly bemused and she has to swallow before she replies quietly.

“It’s Jess. The one who always gets a caramel macchiato…” The sound of something crashing on the other end has her eyebrows arching and she hesitates before she voices her concern. “Um. Is everything okay.” She’s proud that her nerves aren’t showing through in her tone of voice, free of trembling even though her fingers are shaking slightly and she inhales quietly.

“Y-Yeah, e-everything’s fine, I was just s-surprised, I didn’t expect you to call, it’s been so long —“ He splutters on the other end and she can’t help the small smile that spreads across her face. God, but he’s cute. “Anyways! You called! You actually called!” He sounds so delighted -- it’s like a child’s eagerness, and that only makes her shake her head in amusement.

“No, I didn’t call, and you’re actually speaking with a figment of your imagination.” She quips dryly in return and the answering laugh is so bright and happy that it’s nearly impossible not to picture his dimpled cheeks and genuine grin. Her heart warms in her chest, and while she’ll never admit it to Mei, knowing just how smug her friend will get, it’s something that she dares to admit to herself, for the first time.

“Well, may I have the honor of taking you out for dinner, figment of my imagination?” He retorts with a chuckle and she smiles silently to herself on the other end.

“Wait, what —“ It’s shocking, just how quickly he’d proposed that, and her cheeks flush red and it takes a few moments of rather strangled silence before she finally gets her bearings again. “Well… I suppose you may.” Her voice belies that she’s not indifferent about this at all, contrary to what she’d like to pretend. He’s her weakness, it seems, him with the sunshine personality and the dimpled smile.

“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7 PM on Friday, if you’re free.” His voice is cheerful and bright, and it’s rather in a daze that she agrees, hanging up the phone and just sitting there for a few moments.

— LITTLE THINGS // One Direction

Your hand fits in mine / Like it’s made just for me / But bear this in mind / It was meant to be

Fate must have set them together from the beginning, with the reason they met to the reason they continued to meet, to how she stayed with him after hearing he’d been diagnosed with cancer despite her own fear of being left alone.

— WHO SAYS // Selena Gomez

Who says, who says you’re not perfect? / Who says you’re not worth it?

She was blinded to her own stunning nature, something that shone so clearly for him it nearly blinded him. She never believed him when he told her that she was beautiful, that she was everything to him, but he knew that one day, she’d understand.

— TUNNEL VISION // Justin Timberlake

Yeah a million people in a crowded room / But my camera lenses only been set to zoom / And it all becomes so clear

Once his eyes were set on here, there was no turning back, no way to escape his persistence that somehow managed to come off in the sweetest way and slowly worm its way under her skin.

— I WON’T GIVE UP // Jason Mraz

Well, I won’t give up on us / Even if the skies get rough / I’m giving you all my love / I’m still looking up

There was so much hope to still be had, and when it seemed like she was resigning herself to losing him, he demanded of her whether she was giving up on them, because he wasn’t. He would fight until he was no longer physically able to, and even then he’d fight with himself.

— BOTH OF US // B.o.B. ft. Taylor Swift

I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us / Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us

It was a daily struggle to get up but he strained to act as normal as he could, because he knew that the more the cancer took him, the harder it was on her. He wanted to protect her.

— THIS I PROMISE YOU // N-Sync

And I will take / You in my arms / And hold you right where you belong / Till the day my life is through / This I promise you

He would never let her go, not while he was slowly deteriorating and he could only pray and hope that she wouldn’t leave him either. Every breath he took brought him closer to death, but he swore that he wouldn’t let her go until he could no longer hold her. 

— SKYFALL // Adele

Let the sky fall / When it crumbles / We will stand tall / Face it all together

As his health deteriorated and the end seemed imminent, he reminded her quietly that he would fight with her until the end, that he wouldn’t let death take him that easily, not while he had her to fight for. 

— JUST THE WAY YOU ARE // Bruno Mars

When I see your face / There’s not a thing that I would change / Cause you’re amazing / Just the way you are

The first thing he did when he learned that he was officially in remission again was to kiss her, tell her how much he loved her, and just how beautiful she was.

— MARRY ME // Jason Derulo

Wake up every morning with you in my bed / That’s precisely what I plan to do

He knew he wanted to marry her. From the very beginning, even when things seemed impossible, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and never let her go. Finally, it was a reality within reach.

— ALL OF ME // John Legend

Cause all of me / Loves all of you / Love your curves and all your edges / All your perfect imperfections

LEE HONGBIN x BAE SUJI

1. DEMONS -- IMAGINE DRAGONS

" I wanna hide the truth / I wanna shelter you / But with the beast inside / There’s nowhere we can hide "

When they first met, Suji had been very reluctant to get close to Hongbin because she didn't want to taint him at all. She was worried that if she got too close, her darkness would consume his light and that was the thing she was the most afraid of once she realized how much she truly liked him.

2. BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF -- ADAM LAMBERT

" 'Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now / But I really need you near me to / Keep my mind off the edge "

Contrary to what she first thought, when Hongbin was rediagnosed with cancer, she found that she loved him way too much to actually continue on with her life and try to think of her life without him in it. He had thought she would leave -- as did she. But, she didn't want a life without him in it. Not anymore.

3. BORN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY -- BRITNEY SPEARS

" Always and forever, you and me / That's the way our life should be / I don't know how to live without your love / I was born to make you happy "

After everything that they've been through, Suji is completely and 100% certain that she's actually found her soulmate. She had never believed in the concept, having always been sure that she would probably die alone -- until she so happened to switch seats one day and found her soulmate by chance.

4. BECAUSE YOU LIVE -- JESSE MCCARTNEY

" Because you live and breathe / Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help / Because you live, girl / My world has twice as many stars in the sky "

Hongbin is her sun and her stars and despite everything they've both been through, he still helps her believe that she's worthy of life. She had never thought she belonged in the world, because of her mother, until she met him. And Suji will forever be grateful for his words of encouragement everyday.

5. WITH YOU -- JESSICA SIMPSON

" 'Cause with you / I can let my hair down / I can say anything crazy / I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground / With nothing but a T-shirt on / I never felt so beautiful / Baby as I do now / Now that I'm with you "

Once she met Hongbin, Suji felt like everything she had ever prayed for had been answered. He made her feel like she was worth something anything, considering she always felt like she was worthless, this was something big for her. He told her that her scars were beautiful ... and she's finally starting to believe it.

6. NEON LIGHTS -- DEMI LOVATO

" You're all I see in all these places / You're all I see in all these faces / So let's pretend we're running out of time, of time "

It really didn't take long for Hongbin to worm his way into her heart -- it was a couple coffee dates, a day or two of studying and him actually trying to get to know her before she found herself wanting to see him and waiting for him to text her and tell he was forcing her to leave her room and it all went downhill from there.

7. I'M YOURS -- JASON MRAZ

" So I won't hesitate / No more, no more / It cannot wait / I'm sure / There's no need to complicate / Our time is short / This is our fate / I'm yours "

Despite how much he hedged, she was completely and irrevocably in love with him and she ... didn't not want to be his anymore. They only had so much time in this life and Suji just wanted to be his. Officially. Whether he could promise her tomorrow or not, like she said, he could promise her the rest of today and that was all she needed.

8. BY MY SIDE -- TYLER SHAW

" That if these walls come crashing down / And the rain starts pouring in / And if the stars are burning out / You know that I can get through anything / If I've got you / By my side, by my side "

She had always thought of herself as independent and that she didn't anyone but she had always thought of herself as alone -- not lonely. But she didn't know how wrong she was until Hongbin became a constant presence at her side and she found that she felt stronger, safer, just better with him around. Suji knew she could face anything the world threw at her as long as he was with her.

9. ANGEL WITH A SHOTGUN -- THE CAB

" I'm an angel with a shot gun / Fighting 'til the war's won / I don't care if heaven won't take me bak / I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe / Don't you know you're everything I have? / ... and I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight "

Once everything had happened and she knew he was just in love with her as she was with him, Suji knew she would never be able to love someone else. Despite her struggles with herself when he was sick, she fought with everything she had for him and for her and for them. 

10. EVER AFTER -- MARIANA'S TRENCH

" Don't you move / Can't you stay where you are, just for now / I could be your perfect disaster / You could be my ever after "

He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, he couldn’t do anything anymore, not with the searing pain that coursed through his head. He was vaguely aware of the sound of screaming, vaguely aware that the sound was shrill and piercing. He dimly wondered why nobody was moving, why there was no reaction, no sounds of panic, just the shrill screaming that never seemed to end, and it was only when the wand was lifted and his body fell limp that the screaming stopped, only to be replaced by the sound of harsh breathing.

Oh, he realized dimly through the fog of pain, I was screaming.

Then the wand came down and the agony began anew. The screaming started again and this time he knew it was him, and he hated the sound, but he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t stop the sound and it was all he could do to stay awake.

Please please please please please let me die just let me die will it end then please can I just die —

—

He burst into the room only to stumble back half a step at the shrill sound of sheer agony, his wand coming up automatically to ward off whatever spell or curse the screaming was before he realized that it wasn’t a curse, a spell to throw him off. It was sheer and utter agony, the sound of someone completely out of their mind with pain and he saw red — the wand was connected to that despicable monster’s hand, and he didn’t even hesitate before he barked a short “Stupefy!”, a jet of red light bursting from his wand to strike the drunkard and leave him prone on the ground. The screaming stopped when the wand dropped and it was only then that he could turn his head to look at his father’s unfortunate victim.

Soohyun.

No. No, no. No, it couldn’t have been — but of course it was, for who else was stupid enough to place themselves in front of that maniac’s wand?

"Hyung," he called out desperately, dropping to his knees by his brother’s prone figure. "Hyung, wake up!" He shook the older male, gently but insistently, but the other was still. "Hyung? Hyung, please. Rennervate!”

He breathed a sigh of relief when Soohyun’s eyes opened, but they were blank — blank and unseeing and he shook the older again. “Hyung? Hyung!" Soohyun made no response, no sign to show that he was even still alive.

-- to suji ; sorry i couldn't be with you

-- to hongbin ; it's okay, your checkup is important

-- to suji ; still, i wanted to go with you