Dream Machine

I haven't logged on in a while, but I'm still around. Alive, but still depressed in some ways.

I'm really glad I can have the chance to feel really depressed twice a week. I can't stand this anymore, and yet I keep standing in the face of it...I'm glad I haven't offed myself yet, but this pain has been going on too long.

I just want this year over with already.

Almost like ones whole world is....not turned upside down, no. No, no. It's transformed into a walled off incomprehensible place.

That being said, I'm choosing to be hopeful in some ways. I have to be. I'm just going to try and do my best, as I always have tried.

It's been a long time, but I'm now comfortably in a place I haven't been in this place of mind in a while. Saddled with bad news and some pessimism, I can at least say, I guess I'm justified in saying this will be a hell of a tough year. And right now, it really, really sucks. But I'll pull through. I gotta try.