DreamLand

Answer Printer- You have a device that you can insert paper into. The paper will have any question written on it, when inserted, the device will soon thereafter print an answer to that question. The response will always be truthful, and is omniscient. Knowledgeable in all past, present, future, and existential. However, you are only allowed to ask it a total of 100 question, afterwards, it will stop functioning. The responses will understand the intent of your question and will provide thorough answers, perhaps several pages long if need be. The answers will be grounded in reality and can not tell you how to accomplish things that are physically impossible.

Death note- Its the death note! However, if you pick this option, you will be automatically made to take the shinigami eyes. Which means your remaining life span will be cut in half. If you had 30 years to go, its 15 now buddy.

@introvertsnation

The rampant bigotry against Grisha is constantly excused because poor normies are "rightfully" afraid of Grisha powers, "rightfully" jealous of their health and beauty, "rightfully" mad at Mongolians for Genghis Khan, err… at Grisha for the Black Heretic, so it's fine.

Magic is treated as a metaphor of power that corrupts absolutely, and that's one horrid metaphor, because 1) magic in their world is what makes people victims of persecution, 2) the story is chock-full of actual institutions with virtually unlimited power—the monarchy, aristocracy, the church—and they are never challenged in any way or form. Pretty bold to condescendingly wage your finger at Grisha for being greedy and power hungry when the real power is consolidated in the hands of magicless assholes who sit on money while their country is starving.

Any Grisha who tries to push the limits of their magic is labeled insane, greedy, or at least suspicious, and the paragon of wisdom and temperance is an old gargoyle who had the immense power and chose to do absolutely fucking nothing with it and now meanders about how the curse of Grisha magic didn't let her father and son remain ignorant morons like her.

The Darkling is obviously worried about Grisha magic becoming irrelevant only because of his ego and not at all because it would subject Grisha to more aggressive attacks since they would be of no use. But Nikolai is such a progressive normie that he can replace all that pesky magic with his human technology! I didn't pick up a fantasy novel about magic to see magic replaced with human technology, you fucking donkey.

Malina endgame, where both Alina and Mal have to be completely devoid of any trace of magic in them to get their "peaceful ending," certainly belongs to the same category. If I wanted to read about the relationship of two normies living in the normie world, I would read another book, wouldn't I? Although I doubt Mal and Alina's "relationship" would evoke any interest in any genre—I'd rather watch paint dry.

For sure they fuck on the iron throne too, right? Aerion as king would be genuinely worrisome but with LS by his side he could actually be a good king and not another version of Aerys II.

we've joked about this so many times before because yes, he would have. and it would be genuinely, cosmically hilarious if you ask me.

because aerion would not be a beloved king. nobody's naming babies after him or writing songs about his fair nature. but people would be forced, through gritted teeth, to admit he was annoyingly decent at it. he's a great fighter, which matters more than it should when you’re a Targaryen king without a dragon. he's also a ruthless piece of shit, which matters exactly as much as it should given the blackfyre threat is still prevalent. and with the madness mostly kept in check (read: by a certain wolf with a very short chain) he's not half bad. highly effective, even. the kind of king people describe as “well, he got things done” while looking at the floor.

after your marriage and that little tryst to Lys, I’d actually always imagined you end up as foreign ambassadors, and it’s genuinely the best use of the pair of you. you’re weirdly excellent at making friends with exactly the right people across the free cities (read: ur both slutty but terrifying in your own ways), and everyone back home is quietly relieved you’re a continent away, genuinely more useful abroad than at court. everyone wins.

and the trial of seven doesn't actually happen because aerion is far too busy getting his balls drained by his wife to start beef over a puppet show. the entire tragedy of Ashford is averted by a woman with a good grip 😭 history turns on smaller hinges indeed. so while the trial doesn’t happen, dunk/aerion still have their beef just with different context, so aerion in dm verse is cutting around with his sexy face scars.

what still happens, however, is the great spring sickness. baelor, daeron, valarr, matarys, all still RIP, and then aerys I is king (this is likely the stretch of time you and aerion are genuinely away from court for months if not years at a time) and get called back home when suddenly maekar ascends the iron throne and his eldest is dying of the pox. so the formerly mad son, the cruel prince, the one everyone wrote off years ago, is standing there suddenly first in line with his wolf wife at his side.

the look on everyone's faces when realisation hits…. the sheer institutional panic. hilarious.