deadpoolie the dreadful

Yuuji invites Megumi out countless times and each time Megumi asks if Nobara is coming and Yuuji has about three seconds of fumbling for an excuse before mumbling about asking her if she will come too. The days that Nobara vehemently disagrees are the only days that Yuuji is content with Nobara’s disinterest in his fixations.

Megumi is also foreign to the idea of friendship, so he just thinks Yuuji is trying to be a good friend by inviting him out so much.

It’s only when Yuuji invites Megumi into his dorm to binge the Human Earthworm franchise and Yuuji starts being…too close does Megumi realize this might be more than just friendship. Yuuji is by no means coming onto Megumi, he’d never do anything without explicit permission. But he keeps knocking his knee against Megumi’s and hesitantly brushing their hands together and shifting close so their shoulders are touching.

That night, Yuuji falls asleep during Human Earthworm three, and he is clutching Megumi’s hand so tightly in his sleep that Megumi can’t help but notice it.

So Megumi hesitantly asks Nobara for some kind of assistance, and Nobara is like “😨 I thought you were fully fucking aware of the way Yuuji was hitting on you. It was awkward and hard to watch, yes, but you let him do it?”

So the next time Megumi is invited out, he’s much more keen on paying attention to Yuuji’s advancements. The way Yuuji tries to hold his hand and then ditches at the last second. The way Yuuji clearly wants to be held when they watch movies, but clearly has no idea how to ask or motion for it. The way Yuuji watches couples on TV or on the streets and tries mimicking them with Megumi before cringing at how hopeless he’s being.

It all clicks for Megumi, and instead of being normal, Megumi goes “why are you trying to hit on me?” And Yuuji takes that as sharp rejection. In reality, it’s Megumi being confused as to why Yuuji would like him of all people.

So Megumi gets really confused when Yuuji gets awkward around him, clearly craving the lack of personal space but clearly trying to stop himself for Megumi’s sake.

It takes a week before Nobara angrily pulls Megumi aside and is like “I understand that you two are just dense but good lord Itadori has been sulking for days, whatever you said wasn’t the right thing to say” so Megumi has to scramble to explain his miscommunication, expecting Yuuji to be irritated only to find Yuuji is absolutely delighted that Megumi wasn’t rejecting him.

Yuuji is elated that he can keep awkwardly courting Megumi, along with sprinkling in some self-esteem boosting acts to make it so Megumi can start believing that someone would want him romantically.

They return to the school and try to keep it under wraps. Some are suspicious of the two, but what are they to do about the literal strongest killing a bunch of people? Nobody can beat Gojo Satoru, especially when he starts perfecting his technique.

The school begins to send Satoru on more solo missions like in canon, Suguru slips into a lonesome depression like canon, and Haibara dying is Suguru’s final straw.

But when Suguru kills that town of people, and Satoru is told, Satoru doesn’t flip his lid like normal, he is a bit taken aback about it all, but just a year ago Satoru had done the same exact thing.

So, when Satoru finally meets Suguru on the street, they argue. But when Suguru goes to turn, Satoru realizes he can’t fucking do this without Suguru. He stopped really caring about maintaining the proper order of protecting the weak as soon as he was sent to clean up the mission that Haibara died during. He felt like a fucking mutt, being forced to do things he didn’t care to do just because of his namesake and ability. He lost all joy in it, beginning to slip like Suguru had done, he just kept it under wraps.

Until Suguru made moves to leave.

Satoru, instead of threatening Hollow Purple, runs to Suguru and grabs him, dropping to his knees and pleading.

Pleading for Suguru to stay with him, pleading to not be left alone, insisting that he doesn’t care that Suguru killed those people, that Satoru isn’t even any better, they had done the same exact thing.

Gently, Suguru carded his hand through Satoru’s hair, slowly formulating a game plan in his mind.

He crouched in front of Satoru, holding his cheek all sweet like and going, “Then join me.”

Satoru hesitates for three seconds before nodding, and then insisting he has a boundary where he won’t just kill everyone in days. He won’t be a fucking dog here either, he makes his own decisions and he won’t be anyone’s errand boy. Sweetly, Suguru reminds Satoru that he is trying to create a world where Satoru will never have to be that again.

They become the biggest threat to JuJutsu society known to man. It’s a ticking time bomb, everyone is just waiting for Satoru to finally kill every non-sorcerer, because they know damn well that there is nothing stopping him.

In reality, Satoru is really just Suguru’s pretty little guard dog who only cares to keep Suguru safe, and Suguru is content with that, content with the way Satoru stands behind him during business meetings, content with the way Satoru clings to his gojo-gesa whenever Satoru decides he wants physical affection, content with the way Satoru demands sex some nights. Suguru loves it. He can tell that Satoru is happier when he isn’t running himself dry every single day.

Considering there’s no one there to save Yuta, Suguru and Satoru don’t wage war on jujutsu high in order to acquire the queen of curses, so Suguru is just silently building his curse repertoire, enjoying life with his two daughters, his found family, and his beautiful, beautiful lover who never, ever leaves his side.

That following includes Satoru. Satoru, honestly, has become kind of parasocial about Suguru, convincing himself that Suguru sees all the comments and chats he leaves on his videos (on a burner of course). He convinces himself that he knows Suguru more than all of his fans do, he’s obsessed.

His favorites are the ones where Suguru just talks. The ASMR, the product reviews, the theory discussions. Whenever Suguru’s whole focus is on talking to the viewer, Satoru is absolutely elated. It gets to a point where he can’t fall asleep without listening to Suguru’s videos.

It comes to a head when Suguru posts a new ASMR video, Satoru’s favorite kind, while Satoru is six hours into a gaming stream for a game that he managed to somehow steam from his ancient gameboy style console onto his computer to stream properly. When Satoru gets the notification, he freezes a little, unsure what to do before rapidly pausing and insisting to his fans that he will return and finish the game he swears it, tomorrow they’ll see him again instead of next week.

Satoru just barely shuts all his equipment down before running to put his headphones and sleeping mask on, jumping into bed and turning the video on, desperate for Suguru’s voice to be the only sensation he has for the next thirty minutes.

Satoru’s fans go insane. Never in Satoru’s years of streaming has he ever cut a game short. All of his fans are searching for the reason behind the shorter stream, and Satoru profusely apologizes when he starts streaming again a few hours later, insisting something came up.

Everybody is still extremely suspicious, considering during Satoru’s freshman year of college, he streamed through a fire alarm and got in trouble with his RA for not vacating the building, the entire thing occurring with the stream running in the background before Satoru came back with a huge grin on his face, finding the whole thing hilarious.

Eventually, it dies down a little. There’s a small group of fans that speculate that Satoru logged off the stream to watch Suguru’s freshly dropped ASMR video, but fans are suspicious of that because Satoru has never ever expressed any interest in anything other than his video games, mathematics, and metaphysics. Why would he watch Suguru? Maybe a gaming video, but ASMR? And even then, Suguru’s gaming videos tended to be cozy games or slop games for comedic reasons. Satoru’s gaming preferences were clearly souls and rouge likes.

Then, it happens again. This time, Satoru isn’t even two hours into the playthrough, barely even put a dent in the game when a new ASMR video drops. Satoru is far too busy squinting at a Wikipedia page for the game, muttering to the chat about there being a secret pathway and secret boss available if you input a certain sequence of moves. Then, a few chat members mention that YouTuber SuguG3T0 dropped a new video.

Satoru is then seen scrambling for his phone to check the notification, and then rapidly ending stream.

The small group convinced that Satoru watches Suguru quickly expands.

It even gets to a point where Suguru is made aware of it. Suguru wasn’t completely unaware of the well known streamer who went by LimitlessGaming, but never would’ve guessed that this guy would watch his videos. Suguru gets ahold of all the evidence the fans have put together, and then takes note of Satoru’s pathetic excuse for a burner, which is was just a play off his usual handle.

Because Suguru is a little evil and thinks it would be funny, Suguru starts interacting with Satoru more. Following his socials, tuning into his streams and leaving compliments in the chat before leaving (because nobody with a life has time to watch a man play games for ten hours a day).

Satoru looses it. He’s geeking out on the regular, and his fans watch him sputter and die during gameplays because the comments are just so distracting for him.

Somehow, Suguru actually starts feeling interested. The way that Satoru seems so obsessed with Suguru just draws him in, and the compliments become more genuine. It starts shifting into DMs, compliments becoming more intimate and personal than teasing.

One day, Suguru posts a video with Satoru. It’s a vlog of him picking up Satoru from an airport and taking him around his city, taking him to the local mall and getting froyo and a lot of things that could absolutely be considered date-like. Both fan bases are loosing it; Satoru’s fanbase starts up by saying “oh my god Satoru actually goes outside?”

Little do the fans know, Satoru and Suguru have been dating for months, and finally have moved in together. Satoru’s set up changes, but most of his fans aren’t the type to notice that.

Suguru starts posting more gaming videos, old classics with Satoru, with Satoru being patient for a significant amount of time, which shocks the fans; Satoru is far from a patient person.

Speculations start up, fans on both ends insisting that they’re together or at the very least, they like each other. Jokes start up, thinks like Suguru being underneath the desk (Satoru suggests that they should do it, Suguru reminds Satoru that if he gave Satoru head during a stream, Satoru wouldn’t be able to function properly regardless and they would likely get reported).

They never outwardly say that they’re dating, but one time during a stream of Satoru’s, Suguru slips into the streaming room with a plate of something for Satoru to snack on, leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead before insisting he needs to finish the game soon so they can get ready.

Satoru ends the stream mid-game for the third time in his years long career, insisting he’ll be back to finish it.

The first time Rocky watches Simon sleep and Simon isn’t hooked up to countless medical machines and practically comatose, he is frantic. Because Grace doesn’t move like that in his sleep. Grace shuffles and mumbles and moans in his sleep, but it’s all normal. Rocky had chalked it up to humans needing to keep their brain functioning even during sleep, so they did that. Simon’s movements look just plain painful and it doesn’t help that sometimes Simon jolts awake because of them, heartbeat and breathing staggering because of it.

So Rocky goes to Grace, insisting that Simon is unwell again and they need to monitor his condition.

Grace watches Simon sleep alongside Rocky for awhile, and when Grace starts writing stuff down and grabbing his stopwatch timer, Rocky immediately assumes that Simon is dying and needs hooked back up to Armando.

With a couple google searches and academic paper reads, Grace gives a fleeting diagnosis of hypnic jerks (he explains to Rocky that those are the times that Simon jolts awake) and a tentative diagnosis of periodic limb movement disorder. Grace comforts Rocky that no, Simon is not dying, and this whole thing is probably either left over from his trauma in the blood ocean, or from the ADHD that Grace has decided Simon has (bc like recognizes like).

Satoru, on the other hand, is spoiled. Spoiled beyond fucking belief. Everything has to be perfect and to his taste; his games can’t be too laggy or too boring or too action heavy, his sweets can’t be too rich or too gummy, nothing can be out of order.

At first, Suguru thinks the whole thing is insane. How did Satoru’s parents let it get this bad? Suguru doesn’t entertain it, and lets Satoru bitch and whine.

Then, while on some mission, Satoru gets violently overstimulated. The cursed spirit had some kind of visual attack, bright strobing lights that annoyed Suguru, but left Satoru clutching his face and groaning and grumbling about it hurting. The rest of the day, nothing pleased Satoru; as a matter of fact, everything irritated him. The car was too loud, Suguru was breathing too loudly, the leather seats were too sticky and too loud, the air was too thick, his game boy-esq console was too bright and too loud, his clothes were too heavy; nothing was perfect, nothing was simply tolerable either.

It’s that night that Satoru first breaks down in front of Suguru, sobbing and crying about how fucking horrible it is having the ability to be aware of everything around you. Satoru, in a moment of weakness, begs Suguru to make it all stop.

So, when Gojo dies, he morphs into a cursed spirit, Rika-style. Geto understands it’s his fault, but he can’t find it in himself to care, not when Curse!Gojo clings to Geto and mutters about being together forever and using his infinity to keep Geto safe.

Whether or not Geto still turns evil is up in the air, but it doesn’t matter so long as him and Gojo are together. Forever.

Geto never lets Gojo pass on, and it becomes top priority of the JuJutsu world to exorcise Gojo.

The only problem is that Gojo is practically impossible to exorcise, especially paired with the fact he’s under Geto’s curse manipulation now.

The first time Suguru doesn’t answer Satoru’s call is during a random mission, and Satoru is warping to Suguru’s side in a matter of seconds, scolding and yelling at him. Suguru thinks the whole thing is amusing yet annoying, arguing back that he was on a mission, and fighting, and couldn’t answer the phone.

The next time is after the Star Vessel incident. Satoru doesn’t pick up Suguru’s call. That is extremely abnormal. Suguru takes it as a sign that Satoru is really leaving him behind. So Suguru stops calling. Satoru stops too, far too occupied by being the school’s servant now.

Then, Suguru is expelled. Satoru calls and calls and calls and texts and texts and texts.

He never gets a response, but Suguru reads them all. Satoru starts texting Suguru updates about everything. When he beats a new game. When he completes a mission. When he particularly misses Suguru. When he feels particularly used by the higher ups. Everything.

And Suguru reads them all. He doesn’t respond, but Satoru searches for the read confirmation each time.

On holidays, Satoru sends long messages. Wishing that Suguru would come back to him. Lamenting about how Satoru feels so fucking alone without him. Pleading for a response.

Suguru, like always, doesn’t respond. But he cherishes each long message.

After Suguru passes, Satoru keeps sending the messages. Nanako and Mimiko find those messages, and they realize just how close Suguru and Satoru were. They had known they were close, Suguru always spoke of Satoru with thick fondness and love. But seeing the messages, seeing the way Suguru never deleted any of them, never blocked Satoru.

But, thing is, Satoru doesn’t come to kill him. Satoru comes and pleads for Suguru to return to him.

Suguru is irked at first, before finding the whole thing a little amusing. He insists that there’s no place for him in the world of ‘good’ sorcerers anymore, and Satoru takes a good few seconds before going, “I don’t want you to return to the school, I want you to return to me.”

After that, they meet up weekly. Like clockwork, Satoru warps into Suguru’s bedroom sometime around midday. A lot of times, Suguru is busy being a cult leader, but Satoru just sits and waits. It is, surprisingly, the only thing he has ever, ever not been late for.

Suguru expects it now, whenever he walks into his quarters on those fateful days. It’s a highlight of his week, walking in and finding his lovely Satoru sitting all nice and pretty on his bed, waiting for their weekly ritual.

Usually, they have sex. Sometimes, they talk first; Satoru lays it all out each time, there is nothing that Suguru isn’t aware of. Suguru is less open, fully content letting his Satoru just rant and rant and rant before carefully stopping him and taking what’s his by the end of the night.

Sometimes, Suguru sweetly asks Satoru to join him, to come to his senses and help usher in a new age. Satoru never responds, never denies and never agrees. Suguru knows it’s a ditch effort each time, but it’s fun for him to watch Satoru try to not ruin the mood with his reaction.

Satoru always falls asleep first. He always was the one to sleep first, even when they still were in school together. Suguru holds Satoru close, playing with his hair and whatever Satoru had decided to use as eye coverings that week. Suguru was well aware that this was the only time Satoru let his guard down; the only time the infinity slipped and he was able to sleep through the night.

Satoru is gone by morning, each time. Suguru used to dwell on it, wishing he could wake up with Satoru in his arms still. But, after a few years, he just accepted the routine.

Once Satoru starts teaching, he starts insisting that they should stop. That Suguru was a criminal, and that Satoru needed to stop this.

Suguru knew it was all bluff. Satoru couldn’t leave him. Suguru had Satoru wrapped around his finger, and Suguru intended to prove it each time.

One day, Suguru decides to test his luck. He instructs Satoru to come back a few days earlier than normal, to up their meetings to twice a week instead of only once. Part of him hoped Satoru would listen, and most of him understood that it was severely unlikely.

So, Suguru’s surprise when he walks into his quarters in the middle of the week to find Satoru draped over the bed, spinning his glasses in the air with his infinity, Suguru can’t help but smirk.

He starts asking more of Satoru. More meetings, more information, more everything. And Satoru gives it all up, desperate for more of Suguru’s attention.

Satoru doesn’t realize he’s practically a rat until it’s far too late, and Suguru has declared war on JuJutsu High. Satoru is beyond hurt by it, but still shows up for his weekly meeting.

They still have sex like normal. Everything goes as per usual, much to Suguru’s chagrin. Satoru hates himself a little for it, but he can’t help himself. He’s practically addicted.

A few weeks before Christmas Eve, Suguru tells Satoru to stop coming. They’re done, he insists. Satoru had felt the separation approaching, he had anticipated the pain. But it didn’t make it any easier for him.

Even then, after the battle, when he finds Suguru dying, he can’t help but feel nothing but love. There’s no hatred or regret or sadness. Just…love.

Satoru’s entire schedule is thrown off for months. He shows up at Suguru’s cult sometimes, just to stand in Suguru’s empty room. On multiple occasions, he narrowly avoided the sisters that Suguru had taken in.

He talks to Suguru like Suguru can hear him most nights. He lays in bed and stares at the ceiling, telling Suguru about his day or his missions. Sometimes he pretends that Suguru is there, engaging him back. Humming and nodding like he used to.

He forces himself to stop all that when Megumi catches him one time, staring at him like he’s finally gone mad.

His internal monologue morphs into as if he’s speaking to Suguru.

Megumi only knows how to show affection with physical roughness, and Yuuji has to pretend he isn’t about to pop a boner every time Megumi knocks him around a bit.

Yuuji is fully ashamed by it, but he starts messing with Megumi with the intention to get tossed around a bit. He feels super guilty about it because he thinks he’s taking advantage of Megumi.

Little does he know that Megumi is fully aware of the way Yuuji burns with arousal, and he keeps testing how much Yuuji can take.

That night, Yuuji is wrought with false memories similar to the ones that Choso had. Yuuji isn’t all that sure why he’s experiencing them, his technique has nothing in similar with Choso’s but he’s hit with these fake memories of him, Choso, Eso, Kechizu, and the other Death Painting objects experiencing things that Yuuji never even experienced with his own real family.

Yuuji wakes up sobbing with guilt, and Choso is immediately struck with concern; it isn’t uncommon for Yuuji to have nightmares about what Sukuna did, but Yuuji is never sobbing this endlessly about it.

Yuuji isn’t even fully sure why he’s so upset at first, considering he knows these memories aren’t real, but it soon hits him: he killed his own brothers. He’s inconsolable for hours; each time he stops crying for a little bit, looking at Choso just reminds him of what he did and causes the sons to start up again.

When Yuuji finally manages to vent to Choso, Choso is immediately sending comforts, insisting that neither Yuuji nor Eso and Kechizu knew, and that if they had known then everything would’ve been different.

Geto notices how even when they hang out with Shoko, Gojo records and photographs only him in a style that can only be described as dead wife photography. He had gotten so used to it to a point he expected and even craved it. It somehow felt so intimate to be a muse, even if Gojo would constantly deny any reason for why he only did that for Geto.

After the Star Vessel mission, Gojo gives up on it. Whether or not he fully stops or just stops showing Geto, Geto isn’t sure. Either way, Geto stops being the object of Gojo’s art, and it’s like the final straw. It made the fact that it felt as if Gojo was leaving him behind even more palpable.

After Geto is expelled, Gojo picks up his photography again. He starts taking pictures that remind him of Geto, some things as simple as a street they had walked before or a patch of purple flowers that were just the right shade. It helps him regulate his feelings about everything.

After Geto dies, Gojo starts rewatching the videos he had taken of Geto all those years prior. It helps the grief, albeit not a lot. It’s the only time that he allows himself to openly grieve.