The Red Dragon Queen, Kia

“I knew your taste was trash, Kia, but I didn’t know how literal you were. Is this some kind of fetish?”

“Rosie, I get calling me out for my poor decisions, but it’s turning into a full-on serialized visual novel that’s being published in my city called The Angsty Navel-Gazing Adventures of Trash-kun.”

"Oh? Is that right? You wouldn't be the first to tell me that, and it certainly won't be the last. Hatred just comes with being a great leader." The phoenix was massive and wasn’t afraid to use his height to intimidate others and to amplify his oratory skills. He leaned down, hovering his face above hers, lowering his voice into a rumble that seemed to have its own air pressure. “Pray tell, what would would indulging that impulse give you? A brief satisfaction that you sent a message to ‘the bad guy’? Do you think there is no recompense for striking the aspect of heaven?” He smirked and threw back his head to release raucous laughter. There was no point in maintaining his false air of seriousness. The man who was immortal and near impervious lived without fear. All before him were ants. “Strike me if you wish. It will only make you look like the fool.”

“Angel cat warrior moon goddesses aren’t real and can’t hurt me,” he murmured to himself. That’s what his therapist told him, but he still wasn’t able to sleep easily.

“Stop comparing me to Homelander. I’m not a fucking weirdo like him, and Kia is not my ‘Mommy Replacement’. I’ll throw you in the dungeon for slander against the pharaoh.”

“How did this even happen?!”

“Bitch, I said I would follow you, and you stabbed me!”

I was gone all day yesterday and didn’t have the chance to mention it but yesterday was my birthday, and by internet standards, I would probably be considered a fandom grandma at this point. I give my thanks to everyone who has stuck around.

“I don’t know what that feather duster is up to, but my gut feeling says I should kick his ass next time I see him.”

“You did amazing. I’ll teach you another adult secret, since you seem so grown up.” His voice was intolerably cloying. “When you sit down for a nice meal, say ‘Holy Shit!’. It’s how you thank the cook.”

“Never in a thousand years did I think I would ever say this, but put a shirt on. I’m begging you.”

“Father’s Day is overrated. I didn’t have a father, and I turned out just fine.”

“...Sun.”