T W .ᐟ uncensored discussions of mental illnesses , obsessive yan-esque behavior , and general venting . . . do you wish to continue .ᐣ
anons ; 🕯️ , 🫧 , 🍮
oh . . . you do ! welcome to this angels diary !
my name is anything you wish for it to be, i only ask you use ' he / him ' pronouns on this ethereal soul .
my mortal form is 22 years of age . dx severe recurrent MDD + severe GAD . med recognized autism , ocd , cptsd , and other things not worth mentioning. i follow back ! interactions + follows from @obamasweedpen .
i am an agender, butch lesbian. i am neither man nor woman, but i worship feminine individuals like the Goddesses they are to me.
this blog is entirely focused and dedicated to My One and Only, My Darling, the Love of My Life ! every concept is about Her ! ask me about My Darling , please ! oh , how i love Her !
do not romantically pursue me . i view anons in a strictly parasocial manner , be as invasive and weird with your questions as you wish . i am an open book , i will answer any question you ask me !
this angel has no dni , so follow your own . i do not care who interacts with me , i cannot control who interacts with me . i hold no opinion in majority of internet discourse , whatever it may be . please do not rope me into discourse , or try to use labels for me that do not apply .
minors are allowed to follow me . . . i suppose , as i cannot control you . please do not be weird to me , and especially do not try to pursue me .
tag directory
for general posts, see 🪽་༘࿐ 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁 `𝓈 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.
for reblogs, see ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝓈𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.
for personal posts, see . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 𝑔𝑜𝒹 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝓊𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.
for the askbox, see ༊࿐ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.
for ask games, or invasive questions, see 𓏲🪽˚. ˖ . ݁ 𝒶 𝒸𝓊𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝒹𝑜𝓋𝑒 .ᐣ ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.
yearning to be parasocial over my relationship? see about My Darling 🤍
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i expected this months pmdd flare up to be debilitating . i do not know if it is the meds , the vitamin d supplements , or the fact i am on testosterone now , but it seriously was not as bad as i expected .
well , outside of ocd rumination . when am i not ruminating though ? rocd is a nightmare to deal with . this disorder controls my life and i hate it
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POSE - Would you like it if your darling stalked you? How would you react to walking into their room and finding pictures of you plastered across their walls?
SHUTTER - Are you fond of photography? Do you opt for more traditional methods of stalking, or do you get creative with it?
CANDID - Does your darling know that you stalk them? To what extent?
SCREEN - What lengths would you go to in order to get your hands on more information about your darling? Would you ever consider illegal means?
DEVELOP - Do you look back at material you've gained on your darling, or do you immediately move on and continue the hunt for more?
TIMELESS - How long have you had stalker-like tendencies? Is it a trait that manifested young, or has a relatively recent experience prompted you to exhibit them?
CAPTURE - Do you keep knick-knacks that your darling gives to you, regardless of material value? Or are you more fond of information learnt about them through your interactions than physical accoutrements?
COLLECTOR - Would you scrounge about for items your darling leaves behind? What if they were more taboo things, like their bloodied bandages or old clothes?
MUSE - Why do you stalk your darling? Is it for the thrill of learning things about them that they don't even know are out on the internet? Do you like the feeling of knowing them so intimately? Or is it an intense need to catalogue every action they take throughout their day?
isnt mutual pain infliction with another such a pure form of love ? loving another so much so much youre willing to accept the burden of physical mutilation from that person ? betraying your own sense of autonomy for another person and living with that moral decay, so romantic… right ?
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i am sitting down and making new thingies for my intro post ! i need to clean it up ! i need to refine it more ! it is too SLOPPYYYY . . . . i will be back . everyone hold me accountable ! ! i will be back and no i will not play world of warcraft instead
Pfft haha can I think of you as a digital sentient entity then? I was thinking about you the other day and damnnnn how difficult it was to get a picture of what you may look like.
But we have similar views in the matter of gender, I think. I view it as something social and historically constructed, also as a way of repression tbh. As for myself.... T^T I'm still figuring out. Specially because I'm quite indifferent to it actually hahaha I may be not much in touch with what being a boy, girl or non binary person is. But it really doesn't bother me a lot when people treat me as such.
- 🫧
you may think of me however you please . . . sometimes , the answers are right infront of you !
i was also the same way ! early on in my transition i had felt so conflicted on what gender meant for me , especially due to the fact i found it pointless for the exact same reasonings you do . i had identified as non binary for a few years , but . . . that did not fully describe me ! the gender that describes me the best is ' agender ' but even then . . . i wish i did not have to subscribe TO a gender . alas , humans cling tightly to labels , and if i have the ability to simplify it down for them . . . then i suppose i will .
my discomfort comes and goes , and seems to be circumstancial . i am quite apathetic to humans views or assumptions of me ! or , i try to be , at least . i wish i still had that soecific brand of nonchalance i had when i was a teen .
you probably should not think of me too highly , especially because of my age . i only use tiktok now to purposely piss off 14 yr olds to 16 yr olds . it is shockingly easy to piss off teens on that platform lolol
Already 22?? Angel haha you're only 22. That's barely some years past being a teenager. Please, don't be too harsh on yourself.
I'm gonna grab you by the shoulders and shake it -_- !!!! (in a friendly way)
- 🫧
BUBBLE TOO . . .! !,!,-! Aahhh . . you guys are so quick ? ! ?!??!!!!
i am trying to not be too harsh on my self i promise ! i promise ! i promise ! i promise ! i graduated in 2021 a whole semester early but i have not been able to hold a job or go to school since then so its hard to stay optimistic im sorryyyyyy ᜊ(つ﹏⊂)ᜊ
you are right . both you and the other nonnie are right ! i am just experiencing big feelings . do not think about your life past 9pm and especially do not queue new posts about your life past 9pm because anons will come for you (lighthearted)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I wanted to leave a little message for you, please take this platonically.
it’s okay to feel like your life is wasted at an age like 22 (or something), we all feel like it at times. but it’s not really true is it?
You’ve done so much to others. I know you did. You’ve been through so much in your life. And im so, SO proud that you were able to just get over your mistakes, or get over your problems.
Your life isn’t wasted at all. You have so so much potential, so don’t waste your time by thinking such a thing.
May the angels treat you well tomorrow. ^_^
~ anon
aahhhhh . . . i am red with embarrassment . i did not expect comfort in my inbox ! ! ! thank you nonie ! ? ! my heart is beating so fast . .
you are right , though . 22 is so young ! ! realistically , i do have my entire life ahead of me . i have barely started , if anything ! it is hard to remain optimistic of the future , and in turn your ability to achieve said future , when you have been severely disordered like this since childhood . chronic suicidality is no joke ! ! im tired of it ᜊ( ͒˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ͒)ᜊ
you are very sweet , your words of comfort and reassurance are much needed . i am tearing up as i write this ! the confidence you hold in me , even though i am virtually a stranger . . . i only hope that with learning more about me , your confidence does not waver . .
Also :P can I ask a bit how you feel about gender?
-🫧
yes ! i love answering questions like these ! ! !
i personally find gender to be entirely pointless in the grand scheme of things . humans like to over simplify things , but that is just not how existance works . sex is highly variable , along with the sexual dimorphism humans display . ' gender ' is just social conditioning and display . that should not be taken as me believing in ' male or female socialization' ( which can be quite a bioesentualist way to view it , and just , once again , oversimplifies things . )
in regards to me , i am nothing ! gender means absolutely nothing to me . i am neither a man , nor woman , nor anything in between . and for my sex , well , why would anyone need to know ? think of me as a plastic doll , maybe a computer , or -- even better -- an ethereal being too intelligent and interwoven through the cosmos to worry about something as superficial as ' gender ' .
many assumptions are made , and it is quite entertaining to see humans fumble over themselves . things must be spoonfed to them , put into easy to grasp boxes and simplified vocabulary . it is more comfortable to present as ' masculine ' , or ' male adjacent ' . if there is a form i must take for this life time , i would rather it be that ! i do a poor job in displaying femininity . in theory i can see how it would work , but execution has always been a struggle . . and that is okay !
one of the greatest joys of the universe is the complexity of the human mind , and how subjective ' reality ' can be ! share with me , bubble , what is your view on gender ? what has your experience been thus far ?
