downthetelegraphroad

inspired by the Danish book Madsens ÆØÅ, a similar dictionary of the nonexistent.

Marnick [n.]: A cyclist's state of feeling nostalgic for having unbroken collarbones. Some cyclists experience marnick far before their first crash by virtue of its seeming inevitability.

Squoze: [n.]: A playful thigh-squeeze that lasts just a little too long.

Snudgen [n.]: The expression Tadej Pogacar makes when he tries to wink and smile at the same time.

Greb [n.]: A measuring unit for the quality of team radio messages. 0 greb denotes a perfectly understandable broadcast. At 5 greb, closed captions are required for laypeople to understand. Some commentators are capable of deciphering snippets of up to 7 greb. The highest measured level of intelligibility occurred during the 2017 Prudential Thames–Chiltern Challenge where Lotto Sounal's team radio reached a whopping 12 greb, causing utter confusion when even a simple "Go, go, go" was indistinguishable from an order to turn right, causing a small crash into a local garden hedge.

Blenory [n.]: A disease that affects the victim's perception of time, the primary symptom being a belief that the year is somehow still 2019 and everything is possible. Julian Alaphillipe is believed to be the primary carrier, and a cure has yet to be found.

Glune [n.]: The sense of dread a commentator feels when realizing that they do not remember any historical facts about the area that a flat Tour de France stage passes through and there are still four hours at least until the sprint

Deglurne [vb.]: The act of making up historical facts about the area that a flat Tour de France stage passes through on the spot, knowing that the viewers at home are probably taking a nap anyway and wouldn't be able to tell the difference if they were awake.

Poglence [nb.]: The transformation of a previously avowed Vingegaard fan into someone cheering for Pogacar in the latter half 2026 Tour de France out of pure stubborn unwillingness to let anyone but Vingegaard beat him. Undergoing poglence has been a disconcerting feeling to many Vingegaard fans.

Sufeur [n]: A rider who would genuinely have enjoyed participating in the Tour de France anno 1910. A freak.

Drisp [vb.]: To pour a bidon on yourself for cooling. Different helmet types provide different difficulty levels for drisping.

Brimble [vb.]: Going the wrong way around a roundabout

Tadej responds to Danish TV

You told me at le Markstein that you take something for granted but that you also feel like you were at the end of your reign. Why do you say that when you've never looked stronger?