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so many things in life happen in cycles.

i just left a job that i thought would have been so good for me and a change of pace and now, i don’t even know if i should bring it up in resumes. the boss was such an asshole. a tolerable asshole. and asshole that liked to pretend that everything was fine, or was ignorant to the fact that things were in fact not fine. no accountability.

this job really put me through hell and back. i felt like i couldn’t breathe somedays. i tried leaving with a two weeks notice, but it got so bad that i had to quit effective immediately.

the whole experience reminded me of my breakup with my ex. narcissists are such awful people.

i dreaded entering the job market again. these days, no one wants to pay a decent wage, or if they do, they require only the best of the best and aren’t willing to train people. well, even the shittiest paying jobs don’t want to properly train their employees.

i just want to be ok. ok and hopeful. hopeful like i was last year before my mom passed away and i was looking forward to return to school.

but i am ok, i still have food to eat, a roof over my head, and loving and caring friends and family that help me through so much... and yet, i always end up feeling like it all amounts to nothing. like i will never be able to provide for myself and be proud of myself. i have no work experience that i’m proud of or that can properly represent me and fulfill me, as a person. that should be the goal, right?