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@douche-canoe-regatta

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sibling and I stumbled onto the subject of foot fetishes and they were like "It's just soooo weird, I don't get it at all. it must be really niche" and I was like. dude. I know someone whose honest-to-god fantasy is to fuck a spider, and tbh this seems pretty reasonable to me. don't go online
Richard K Blades (British, b. 1978, Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, England, based Cromer, North Norfolk, England) - Blakeney, Paintings: Oil on Panel
I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to the exit.
Well...I mean...accurate?
I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to the floor as a young man
I'm aromantic which means I'm attracted to the sink in my stomach
I'm aroace which means I'm attracted to you as well and I don't know where to begin to get back into my head
I'm asexual which means that I'm attracted to the post office today so I can make it up to you in the morning
I'm asexual which means that I'm attracted to the narrative
[Id: Tweet from @/jayreid2001 that says, "Here's a fun game: Type 'I'm (sexuality) which means I'm attracted to' and let predictive text fill out the rest." End ID. ]
I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to anyone seeing my favorite fictional characters
Im aegosexual which means im attracted to the most masculine person 🧍♀️ on this app
I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to you guys are doing well too many questions about Deaton's words
My Dungeon Crawler Carl tribute art!
[Prints here]

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Back with another gorgeous cover by Ondrej Hrdina, the Czech illustrator for the DCC books! This one is for Book 2, Carl's Doomsday Scenario. Just LOOK at the details!! Carl's sparkly feet, the Shield dome, the Molotov cocktail... *chef's kiss*
Here's his Artstation for more!
I don't understand how cis people obsessed with gender norms think trans people are the weird ones. they're going around believing that your name has to correlate to your genitals. your fashion has to correlate to your genitals. your behaviours have to correlate to your genitals. your hobbies have to correlate to your genitals. who you date has to correlate to your genitals. whether you can put sparkles on your eyelids or not has to correlate to your genitals. and then people like me go "hmm. I might not do that. maybe I'll just do what feels fun and okay instead" and they LOSE their MINDS
So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.
And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.
So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:
Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:
And it’s all just delightful.
But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.
As Prince Fucking Humperdink.
https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI
Here ya go
In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid farts, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody
you've heard of "quiet quitting," now I'd like to introduce you to the next level, The French Work Ethic:
Do exactly what you're paid for and nothing more
Absolutely refuse to be available to contact when you're off the clock
Never prioritize work over your own health, wellbeing, or family because that would be insane, it's just a job.
Have a little glass of wine
Take as long as you feel like for lunch
Deeply understand that work doesn't matter
Make sure your boss your boss knows they're always your second priority ❤️
🗣️ Hey, young Americans:
Old Millennial American speaking here. I need you to adopt this mentality as early as possible and hold to it. The older you get, the harder it is to begin this practice and claw back the extremely unhealthy effects of a workaholic lifestyle. I am speaking from 20 years of experience.
This does not mean having a shitty attitude at work, or not doing your job, or relying on co-workers to carry your water.
This means you do what it says above. It also means not making work and productively your entire personality; not tying your productivity to your value; and not becoming so emotionally enmeshed in your work and workplace so that you are living and dying by what happens there.
Good luck out there. American workplace culture is mostly designed to work you to death. Moving against that tide can be challenging, so having a healthy mindset is important to living a life not consumed by your paid labor.
if I might add:
If you don't want to cover/pick up a shift, fucking don't. Yes, for any reason. Yes, even when it's your buddy. It's not your fault your coworker got sick/no-showed or wants to redirect any blowback from management. ("Cara called in sick and Maggie doesn't feel like coming in to help out" etc.) It is the responsibility of the BUSINESS OWNER to cover hours of operation. No, not management. the OWNER.
Take a good look at your job description. It may be in a contract or spelled out in the original job listing. If you don't have anything labeled JOB DESCRIPTION, ask/tell management to provide one. If they ask you to do something completely new, you can point at your JD and say "that's Not My Job". You are getting paid to do A, B and C. If they wanna add D, they need to pay you for it. That's why you gotta do this before they start adding stuff.

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gentrification is when trash goes in trash cans
(walking down a street and not stepping in any needles, glass, rotten food, loose bags or bottles of piss) this whole damn place has gone to shit
Sorry, my what? My pronouns? Oh, yeah I'm between genders at the moment. No, it's cool, I quit my last gender a little while ago because it really wasn't working out. I don't know if I even have a dream gender anymore.
Oh yeah, it did come with benefits, but they weren't really worth it. The culture was really toxic. To be honest I think I'd prefer a part-time gender so I can just be self-described in my spare time.
I mean, in a perfect world we wouldn't need gender, you know? We could just voluntarily be perceived as much as we're able, as much as makes us feel fulfilled. Having a full-time gender shouldn't be a prerequisite for food, shelter, and healthcare.
this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies
We need to reblog this so much that the post breaks
Do not like
Keep. Reblogging.
If we reblog enough we could save it
Reblogged at 1.7 M notes
reblogged at 1.8M notes
how did this lose over 5k notes
I’m glad we cost Yahoo 2 billion dollars.
it’s like a perfectly preserved body at Pompei
Finding this on my normal dash is like taking a stroll through the Park and suddently stumbeling upon the Codex Hammurabi just lying there.
This post has about 10% as many reblogs as there are active users.
It's the Royal Academy of Art Young Artist's Summer Show. One of my favourite exhibitions of the year. Like. Not only are the older kids insanely talented, the younger ones' artist statements will just punch you right in the face.
Jeffrey is my cat and he feels like my heart
Click [here] for the full online exhibition
These are all so good!!! please look at them
I think my favorite is this one
I very much want to post every single one of Ondrej Hrdina's illustrations for the Czech version of the books, but this is one I hadn't seen yet and *chef's kiss*
The Desperado Club
Link to his Artstation for more!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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