Day 1 is a SUCCESS! It's so much easier not having to focus on numbers, macros, calories and all that jazz. I didn't worry about how much carbs,fats, proteins I was eating per meal. I just ATE....as simple as that. 

Meal One: Protein Pancakes

Meal Two: Fish, Cauliflower, Brown Rice

Meal Three: Flatout Wrap, Chicken, Cucumbers, Onions, French Honey LITE Dressing

Meal Four: (1) Sandwich Thin w/ PB + Honey, Green Tea w/ Almond Milk

Okay so the past week hasn't done me any good. I've binged consistently, just about every day. Which in turn is not a great start to achieving my weight loss goals. In in effort to renew my relationship with food, I've done some research on B.E.D recovery. And the the thing that seemed to continually pop up during my search was the term Intuitive Eating. 

My Intuitive Eating Principles 

Reject the diet mentality....FUCK A DIET

Hungry? Eat food.

STOP the emotional eating

Respect my fullness

Exercise 

Respect my body

→NINE//January 13,2015

→SIX//January 10,2015

→FIVE//January 9,2015

Food addiction....it sucks. EIGHT GOTDAMN YEARS of trying to lose weight and the more I try the more frustrated I get. I know I have a serious problem. (1) I'm an emotional eater, fuck talking about my feelings I'd rather stuff my face in a pile of food instead.(2) I'm an over eater, binger or whatever you want to call it ...bottom line I have a serious problem with portion control. (3) I eat when I'm bored...can't find anything to do? How about devouring a whole pizza in a matter of minutes? (4) I eat, feel guilty then eat because I feel guilty....I'm an emotional eater remember? ...Those are my confessions, at this point I realize that there is absolutely no way I will accomplish my goal unless I fix my damaging relationship with food. So back to today I woke up kinda knowing that today would turn out to be a bad day....negative thinking never does me any good to begin with. But upon waking I had a serious craving for pizza....oh the cheese, the bacon, pepperoni, sausage and fluffy crust...I wanted it and I wanted it BAD. But I laid in bed for a few minutes catching up on some YouTube videos. After the pizza craving passed I got up and stormed the refrigerator looking for some breakfast. I kicked off my shitty day eating brown rice, chicken w/ African tomato stew. About 10 minutes later I made a batch of French Toast...five to exact and smothered them w/ syrup. After drifting off into a severe carb coma I woke up about an hour later ready to fill my belly up. I cooked up some chicken and made a chicken wrap drenched in French Honey dressing and lastly a few hours after that I had yet another bowl of brown rice, chicken w/ African tomato stew. But knowing my lack of will power I'll probably indulge in more food before I head to bed :-/ You see I really want to change, transform my body, mind and soul. Most of all I want to get rid of this weight that's been holding me back for so many years. My determination is there but my lack of will power is something I need to work on badly. I did manage to get a measly 30 minute workout in today (Shoulders, Biceps, Glutes). I started a BB.com account in hopes of competing in their 200k transformation challenge...12 weeks to give it my all. Maybe a deadline will help increase my level of intensity and keep me focused? I'm just stressed along with a bundle of other emotions flowing through me right now. The spring semester starts up in a little over a week. I know once I'm in school, I'm always busy studying and doing homework which keeps me distracted and prevents me from my habit of overeating. 

→FOUR//January 8,2015

OVEREATING (2) vs. Me (0)...Another day, another step back. Okay at this point I feel pretty pathetic with the lack of will power I've had these past two days when it came to over consuming foods. Started off the day feeling pretty good - I had the mindset that I will not make the same mistakes that I made yesterday. With that in mind I kicked off my day with breakfast (1 egg, 120g egg whites, 10g ketchup, 50g avocado, 50g onions, 95g tomato w/ Dannon Light & Fit Blackberry Greek Yogurt and 77g Gala Apple). After breakfast I headed out to the gym in order to get some cardio in. Yay I finally did cardio this week!....wrong  I barely did cardio. Basically what I did was walk on a treadmill (10 Incline) for about an hour. I barely even broke a sweat. I just wasn't into it, I wasn't in the mood and was just counting down the minutes till I go home. My mind was not there. So that was quite a bummer. I miss the motivation I use to have when it came to working out. Jumping out of bed at 5 am sometimes and heading to the gym for fasted cardio. Like wtf why can't I do that now?  So in my disappoint at my lack of motivation and intensity I headed home. Once I got back home and out of the shitty cold weather I ate 3oz of baby carrots...so far so good right? No hiccups! But then the food battle began......after eating the carrots I ate (Flatout wrap,chicken breast, 1 1/2 serv of Honey French LITE dressing, tomato, and onions) I then proceeded to consume the following within a two hour time frame: 4 sausage links w/ 4 slices of white bread, brown rice w/ African tomato stew w/ chicken and lastly finished off the day with Vanilla Greek Yogurt and a cup of green tea,ginger honey w/ almond milk -______- ......I don't even know what to write at this point I'm just frustrated and disappointed with myself.

→THREE//January 7,2015