TOO MANY THOUGHTS

When I was young, about 17, I used to download songs off the internet. Limewire was helpful, and so was my old notebook that I had kept close to me that had all the songs. Names of songs that i heard once and quickly scribbled so one day in the future I would be able to download them.

One of the songs that I would often listen to before I slept was Where or When by Frank Sinatra, a song that would make me smile and feel feelings at a great level. Another favorite was If you are but a dream.

I knew that listening to Sinatra from that particular era was some sort of treasure and a great escape (i hadn’t discovered weed/alcohol just yet). I decided to need to own all the songs from the columbia years, but I was unsuccessful, no torrent, no limewires, nothing seemed to help. There were too many songs, nothing was properly catalogued, and my internet search skills were too primitive.

I gave up on my dream.

What to do when you hate your entire life

I was listening to the ‘song from the beach’ (is that what it is?). Some sad emo kid from the internet who believes deep inside he knows what love is (and other such a beautiful feelings that my great friend D tells me if fully universal) made a ten hour loop version of it. So obviously I thought  it was a good idea to write about it.

Loops of the same song are amazing. I once saw a 1 hour loop of goodbye moonmen which is thought was absolute genius. Do i want to hear Jeremy from Flight of the conchords pretending to be a non carbon based life form called fart and give morty smith hallucinations while he is plotting how to get back with his friends and kill all carbon based life forms? Yes. for an hour? Yes and more yes. The song is so frivolous, and cute, and yet is about genocide??????? And there are beauty wale animations but also david bowie chanelling? If this was even a two hour loop i would listen and listen adn safely call it ‘the best two hours of my life musically’ obvs after that banging pcrc performance i saw last year.

ANYWAY back to her. The song was written by Arcade Fire, one of my fav bands who wrote this song - the crown of love, a song not about a real crown, but a metaphorical one, and it’s #deep and can take you right to #feelipines. They also have a song called - my body is cage. That song too is deep, but i like it for the way win butler wails. Anyway as much as i love funeral (even chotu shibani who didn’t really listen to albums thought it was a great album) i was always always like these boys (and girls) are genius. So what happened when i found out they did the soundtrack for my then fav movie which made me feel so many feelings on top of the feelings i am already feeling? I lost my shit.

I haven’t been familiar with Jon Favreau, I mean besides knowing he wanted to bone Monica real bad and threw money at her. (new restaurant and those spontaneous trips to rome for pizza don’t come cheap right?). When i saw glimpses of Chef I was intrigued because daayum food you got me good. Of course this was the time I was still going bat shit insane watching masterchef australia like my life depended on it. Unfortunately I couldn’t complete what clearly looked like a compelling movie, so I set off adding this to my “‘to watch” list in my head. Food can really help keep that around.

Flash forward to yesterday (Preets birthday 2016) I was trying to finish Another Woman, (damn what is it with me and that movie?) I decided to watch Chef instead. I can safely say, best. Decision. Ever. It’s been a while, since i saw something that was hopeful, fun, and cute and damn i cannot help but say it out loud, after Cher, the one i truly adore the most is Sofia fucking Vergara. How can a woman look like an absolute goddess and seem identifiable to commoners like me is just crazy. Having seen her impeccable comic timing at Modern Family it was beautiful seeing her being subdued and absolute sweetheart in this movie. (and suspiciously supportive the whole bloody time).

I closed my eyes to all the plotholes (and boy there are many questions I could have had.) and just swayed to the music, smiled along with them, and basked in the warmth of it all.

All this makes me realise I miss the days of yore, of feel good cinema and television, where everything worked out, everybody was happy, mishaps were few and far in between and everybody would get out of their problems and the solution is right there.

- my emails are too nice and can never be properly responded to. At least that’s the inference.

- I missed the oppourtunity to work with someone fun, but i didn’t feel all too bad about it

- everybody does like me

- I wish i liked people too

- friends are hard to come by

- give yourself six months before you give up on something

I don’t like sloppy faces

or tired eyes

if your smile won’t make me shine

I’d never think of you

when i’d walk down the streets 

I want you to make my heart skip a beat

I want to feel giddy

I want to feel excited

your look towards me

should make my lips

want to say