Connor Walsh

Tumblr is a very addictive place for me, and after such a long hiatus, I think the best is to keep my distance until I feel strong enough to come back without being fully absorbed.

❛ that’s fine with me. ❜ honestly, he doesn’t know what to say about it. he knows what he feels ; a warm contentment, a grounding safety, an understanding, now, that actions spoke louder than words. he’d been searching for those words from connor for so long, had been tearing himself apart thinking those words could bring this relationship into the reality that he wanted it to be. the truth was, it had been alive all this time, with or without connor giving voice to it. he didn’t have to. so desperate was bucky to hear it that he’d missed out on seeing it.

❛ just … thank you.❜ and he swears —— that’s all he’ll say. see, he’s learnt from connor. he’s learnt the significance of actions, when words alone fail you. and right now, the immense amount of gratitude, and dare he say, love that he feels for connor cannot be described. he turns slightly, cheek against the pillow to face connor’s profile. he drags his fingers along the other man’s jaw, drawing their gazes together … but before they meet, bucky’s already kissing him, deep without permission, slow without bounds. 

         If Connor would have known or even suspected that Bucky might see past his act of indifference, he would have done something extreme. - Go on and either fuck someone else or at least let someone leave a mark on his skin that could easily lead to the assumption that he’d been with someone else. It wasn’t as much for the pleasure of getting laid as it was to ensure Bucky wouldn’t think or HOPE that Connor could ever be his. --- Connor Walsh couldn’t be tamed. Besides, it’s always nicer to admire a wild animal in its habitat; putting him in a cage only leads to humiliation on both sides. 

           “ I’ve done this before, Stilinski. I know the moment you’re out of that door, there’s no coming back. ” Connor wasn’t one to ask twice, and he wasn’t one to beg, either. He barely shifted up into a sitting position propped up on his elbows as he watched the other male walk through his hotel room to gather his clothes. “ --- Don’t forget: Malia wants to introduce me to her HOT COUSIN this evening on a ‘double date’. ”

                  “ We really don’t need to talk about yesterday. --- It was a long day. ” It had been an even longer day for Connor as he had been unable to fall asleep with Bucky sleeping by his side and looking so calm and so relaxed as if ... as if being around Connor, as if sharing his bed, as if THAT was enough to rid him of his demons and the ghosts haunting him. --- Ridiculous. That’s what it was. And yet, Connor had stayed up for as long as he could to watch him sleep.

      They didn’t share the bed unless they made GOOD use of it prior. This? Last night? It had been different. The fact that neither of them was naked made a painfully obvious point of that.

     “Of course it is!” she’s quick to retort, a bit caught off guard by his inquisition. She clears her throat and draws her lips together, trying to fine tune her tone, realizing she doesn’t sound exactly THRILLED, even though she truly is. “Yes. Yes it’s all well and good. I just…Connor, besides Samuel and my mother – you’re the only one I can talk to about this. Liam and Robbie are so caught up in this STUPID argument. There’s just too much at stake. So I – I…need you to. Not only keep quiet, as I know you will but…be…here….for me.” 

     While he was sure handling a rebound that lead to her cheating on Samuel wouldn’t exactly be better than this, he caught himself wishing that it’d be their only problem. --- Luckily enough, his wishes do not come true. He swallows, standing up to walk in front of her, hands held out for her to take or leave as she pleases. They’d gone through so much together and separately and always found their way back to this very spot. If Eleanor needed him, he would be here for her as long as it took. “I’m going to slap both Robert and Liam in nine months.”

                   “ H e l l o, it's me.”

                   “I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet. ”

MAYBE IT WAS THE ADMITTANCE, the gentle nudge that this would end as soon as the younger man was bored or got his call back home. Maybe it was the way his body pressed up against his spine seemed to relax him. Or maybe enough time had passed that Isaac had lost the will to fight the quiet battle raging inside his chest. Either way, the older wolf dare not question it for now. 

“ Lost too much at home. “ A truth. A rare truth at that. A door if turned even further would unleash all kinds of hell to come crawling to the surface. Isaac found more comfort in ignoring the latter. “ That and their baguettes here are plenty. “