The Church of Not Being a Complete D*ck

I. You don't need a God to tell you not to be a dick.

II. Don't be a slave to technology, talk to real people, friends, family. And don't text when someone talking, that's just being a dick.

III. Don't be racist or sexist. No nazis. Be nice to plants and animals too. Everyone just get along.

IV. Don't be dicks to people working in retail. Especially on Sundays. They should be resting for fuck sake.

V. Don't be a dick to the people who raised you, that shit cost money you know. And parents, don't be dicks to your kids, they're the ones picking out your nursing home.

VI. Don't murder. Come on guys. Why do I have to write this down?

VII. Don't cheat on people. Dick.

VIII. Don't lie and steal. Like, obviously.

IX. No means no. End of story.