izzy

crossfaded somewhere between "there has to be more to life than this" and "every mundane thing is beautiful when you're with people you love"

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

Waking up from a nap and still having a headache is so unfair. You were supposed to save me.

my no stakes hollanov headcanon of the day is that hollanov accidentally acquire a cat. it's a black boy cat with white whiskers and yellow eyes and he's one long noodle and he loves shane. and when faced with naming him, shane panicks and calls him puck. which leads to people being like, haha of course you'd name your pet after a hockey thing. and shane’s like, no actually, it's for shakespeare, and everyone will be like, oh. OH. meanwhile ilya is standing in the corner shaking his head completely baffled that people actually believe this outrageous and so very obvious lie because shane got so flustered and embarrassed about naming his cat puck (for hockey) that he relentlessly googled puck (characters in media).

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

good music should beat the shit out of you

the only bmi i care about is bagel mmmyummy itsgotcreamcheese

No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog