summer dream

I've felt like life was a series of goalposts for a while now -- you just need to get through high school! wait! there's a sequel called university and your family will judge you severely for not going into debt for a degree! (At least mine did.) Oh there's a next part where you try to get a job with the biggest number possible! ...and I just hate it. I feel so overwhelmed and it's all mental. It's like being tangled up in a bunch of yarn that various people have just tossed at you.

This book, or what I've read so far is such a breath of fresh air. It's slow, it's mundane, it makes me feel like I'm not alone in gambling my life away with decisions I'm too young to make. It feels like waiting on the couch while your parents cook dinner, stomach grumbling but knowing that your name will be called any minute now.

It makes all of my issues feel so small against the simplest routines. Like waking up and pulling the window curtains in the morning, or that despite all of the hardships and inconveniences I might find a way to love my life. Maybe it is about waking up and having a shower. Maybe I would like to talk to my neighbors and find out what their life growing up was like.