deleted scene: cameron
blackthornxw said: Hi Cassie! I donât know if you had talked about this before but I would like to know more about Cameron Ashdown. He will appear in Qoaad? How did he and Emma meet each other? I know Emma loves Julian but she didnât had feel anything for Cam?
She didnât feel nothing for him, but she didnât love him. Not at all like sheâs in love with Julian. I think she was fond of Cameron, and sheâd known him for a long time, their families had interacted over many years. I think she may well even have crushed on him for a while. But not every relationship is an epic love story. :) Cameron, however, has some hidden depths youâll see on display in Queen, and an unexpected part to play.
In the meantime, I turned up a deleted scene from Lady Midnight with Cameron in it. The characters donât feel quite like their eventual selves to me, and Iâm glad I took it out â it flatly spelled out things that worked much better revealed more carefully â but itâs kind of interesting!Â
Emma turned to head down the beach to the shoreline. That was when she saw him. Silhouetted against the water. She wondered how long heâd been standing there, hands in the pockets of his jeans.
âCam?â she said.
Cameron Ashdown walked toward her, the wind off the ocean tousling his dark auburn hair. Heâd always looked like a picture-perfect California surfer boy, even though the Ashdown family were Scottish, as far as she remembered. His shoulders were broad, his eyes were blue, and there was a spray of freckles across his nose.
âI texted you,â he said. âLast night. And this morning.â
âI know.â She put her hands on her hips. She felt slightly undressed, not so much because she was only wearing a sports bra and running pants, but more because when she was training, she felt vulnerable. She didnât mind training with Cristina, Julian, or any of the Blackthorns, but anyone else from the Conclave, even Cam, was â different. âBut we broke up, so ââ
He laughed shortly. âClassic, Emma,â he said. âYou broke up with me, so you donât ever have to talk to me again?â
âI think that is how it works. Technically,â Emma said. âIf we did still have to talk with each other, what would be the point of breaking up?â
He shook his head. âThe thing is, you actually mean that.â
She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. The wind off the ocean chilled the sweat on her body, and all she wanted was to get away. âCam, I am sorry. I didnât mean to hurt your feelings.â
He looked up toward the sky, as if hoping for celestial support. âI am so stupid,â he said. âThis is what, the third time? And I thought it would be different. I figured, why would you keep coming back if you didnât actually like me?â
âI do like you. I always have liked you.â It was true; sheâd always liked Cam â a lot of the members of the Conclave, like Camâs awful sister Paige, could be viciously nasty about the Blackthorns and their connections to Fae. But Cam had never been. âSo why break up with me?â
Emma tucked a damp curl of hair back behind her ear. âI donât know,â she said. âI guess I thought it had run its course.â
âRun its course?â he echoed. âAnd that means what?â
She felt herself flush. âThat it was never supposed to be serious. Right?â
Cam moved toward her. The sun was truly up now, casting his shadow lightly against the sand. He reached out, and she let him take her forearms, his tanned, freckled fingers spanning their width. âEmma,â he said. âYou only have one serious relationship, and thatâs with Julian Blackthorn.â
âHeâs my parabatai,â she said. âOf course itâs a serious relationship.â She looked up into his blue eyes, squinted against the rising sun. âWhy are you here?â she said. âI donât know what I can tell you to make it different, besides that Iâm sorry. Does that help?â
âNot really,â he said. âAs for why Iâm here â every other time youâve dumped me on my ass, I have come by, just for the record. I think if youâre going to end a relationship, you should do it in person.â
âYouâve never come by ââ
âI have,â he repeated. âIâve just always run into Julian first.â He let go of her forearms. âYou know, itâs weird,â he said. âHeâs not bigger than me, and I donât even think heâs a better fighter.â
Emma wanted to protest, wanted to say Julian could slay Cameron Ashdown with a crossbow, wanted to say that not everyone had to go around sporting huge muscles and a giant neck to prove they were strong. Sheâd seen Jules bend steel girders; he was as strong as any Shadowhunter needed to be. But she held herself back because she wanted to know what Cam was going to say next.
âBut heâs damn convincing,â Cameron said. âIâd show up at the Institute and heâd get to me before I ever got to you. And somehow Iâd find myself leaving without talking to you. So Iâd wait around, until you wanted me again for some fun or company or whatever. You think I havenât noticed that you called me and asked if I wanted to go out the day after Julian left for England, and you dumped me the day before he got back?â
âI didnât know you were so intimately familiar with Julesâ travel schedule,â Emma snapped. âMaybe you should be dating him, if you care so much where he is.â
âI care because you care,â said Cam. âYou know Iâm right.â
âI know youâre jealous,â Emma said, and immediately regretted it.
âYeah, I am,â said Cam. âJealous of your parabatai. Thatâs a little weird, isnât it? I mean, heâs supposed to be like a brother to you. Protective, maybe, but what you have between you â itâs different. Iâve been alone with you, and Iâve been with you when heâs around, and itâs like youâre a totally different person. Like he turns on a light inside you. I thought maybe I could make you like me enough that I could turn that light on for you, but ââ He broke off, shaking his head. âI donât think anyone can.â
âYouâre crazy,â she said. âItâs not like that.â
âAnyway, I came because I wanted to see you before Julian got back and stopped me,â he said. âThatâs it. I didnât really think I could change your mind.â
The tide had started to come in; it was lapping at their shoes. âI really would like to be friends,â Emma said. âWith you.â
The expression that crossed his handsome face was unreadable. âWeâll see.â He turned away, and she watched him go, his shoes crunching on the sand. A few steps away he spun around to face her again. âAbout Julian,â he said.
She looked at him.
âThereâs something cold in him,â he said. âSomething scary. I donât think you see it, but everyone else does.â
She thought of Julian, flecks of paint in his dark hair; Julian picking up Tavvy and swinging him around, Julian bandaging Druâs scraped knees and smiling at Ty when Ty was clever and cheering Livvy on when she learned to use a sabre. Julian, grinning at her like sunrise.
âJulian isnât cold,â she said, biting off each word. âDonât you ever say that again.â
His face had gone stiff. âI guess you two deserve each other,â he said, and turned around. She refused to watch him walk away.
















