Defining Gender Theory

This is one of the bigger topics discussed in class. Women are seen as weak, less power, domesticated, should be mothers and wives, nurturing and care takers and mean are seen as having all of the power. They are supposed to be intelligent, strong, hard workers, father and a husband and more aggressive and assertive. When discussing women, we looked at many different poems, books and short stories. One was Becoming a Women in Our Society, the majority of this section talks about how femininity and masculinity; stereotypes, norms and standards. In reality, women can be single parents, they can not even be parents. It is a personal choice that each person is able to make on their own. We do not need to go with what society believes to be true because this norm does not fit everyone needs and wants. 

This idea can be seen in The Lone Ranger, with Victor and James. James' life was saved by Victor, "I should be the one who raises him. Moses says it's Indian tradition but somehow since Moses is going on about two hundred years old and still drinking and screwing like he was twenty i figured he's just trying to get out of his grandfatherly duties" (page 112). This shows that even though James could have gone with Moses, Victor stood up and said that he would be the one to raise him. Not because he was forced to but because he made the choice. Throughout the rest of this chapter, you see how Victor tries to become a better person for James with is drinking problems and with showing more affection. 

When the women in Barbara A. Holland's poem called "The Consultation", she says " I must cling to my beliefs in the powers of garlic, trust every weekend to its down home savor and daily keep my windows curtained against..." (page 290), Although the women is struggling with the idea of the child and the doctor is saying she should keep it, she is sticking up for herself and saying how she must not keep this child. For she knows it will not do her any good. She is not allowing other's opinions get in the way of her true feelings. 

This picture is a great example of something that happens daily. People have trouble coming up with their own ideas and thoughts and instead will take someone else's because it is easier than thinking for themselves. When you find yourself in a situation like this your integrity is being compromised. You are allowing yourself to be un-trust worthy. This picture is funny in the sense that the guy says he doesn't know what plagiarizing is so he is just going to take someone else's ideas from the internet yet he doesn't realize that by plagiarizing he is losing his integrity and not allowing himself to do his own thinking. 

This idea of Realism can be seen through the book "The Lone Ranger And Tonto Fist Fight in Heaven". On page 17 "They're all gone, my tribe is gone. those blankets they gave us, infected with small pox, have killed us. I'm the last, the very last, and I'm sick, too. So very sick. Hot. My fever burning so hot" (17). Bring in history to the book shows a representation of  making the story more accurate. When talking about how African American's struggled in history it makes it more relate able for us as readers to see the struggles in Sherman's life now. Even though what we may have read in the story is exaggerated a bit to us, that may be how Sherman feels while going through those events in his life. 

In The Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King, this idea of self- individual is used with Andy Dufresne. Red is talking to the warder about how he just figured out who the man was that really killed Andy's wife and pro golfer. Red tells the Norton that he will "hire a lawyer... With Tommy Williams and with my testimony and corroborative testimony from records and employees at the country club, I think we can put it together".(page 43). Red thinks that he can help Andy with his trial. But in reality Andy is already planning his escape and plans to leave and no one not even Red knows. 

Okay so I know that this one maybe a little extreme but I feel that hyper masculinity is as well so it does work... The army guy is saying how if you want to be a real man then you have to join the army, you have to kill men with your bare hands. Army guy is saying hey you are a sissy for just playing a video game and not getting into the real world. But then the guy comes back with a comment that you are wrong. Being that way is not always going to benefit you. You are risking your life when you could just be sitting there pushing a button in a video game and still feel as powerful and masculine. 

This image shown on http://www.ivillage.com/womans-idea-perfect-man-cause-girl-can-dream/4-a-508962  has the caption of A Women's Idea of the Perfect Man. Every women dreams about a time when they meet a man and have put all of these ideas of what they need to qualify as their future boyfriend or husband. We as women set standards for men. Examples such as being in shape, earns more money than you (provide for you), can change a tire (handy man), dresses smart and stylish, college degree, 6 foot tall, sensitive when we are upset.... all of these represent that idea of masculinity and that in order for a women to be with a man he must have these qualities. Yet realistically we aren't all going to end up with this guy shown in the picture (sad but true). 

In the poem "A Girl" by Michael Field, the Affect theory of sexual/ bodily and emotion is shown in this part. The idea that this girl is having these emotions and a connection with someone else shows how deep the thoughts are of the individuals. There is key words such as lips apart, trembling in the breeze that show how great of an attraction they two are having with each other. There is passion and lust for the other. 

In the "Black Mother Women" by Audre Lorde, she talks about her relationship with her mother and how she does not want to be anything like her even if they have the same DNA. She wants to break free from what society sees to be her mother inside of her and show that she is an individual who can define herself by herself. 

In "The Forsaken Merman" by Matthew Arnold, he shows his idea of absolution throughout his poem. His wife and mother to his children picks up and decides to leave her family to grow closer to God. The merman and children do not see how the mother could be so selfish to just leave them. They wait and look out for her each day with some hope of her to return but she never does. Their father knows that too and try to remind the children of that. 

Even as children we are brought up with the idea that being selfish is acceptable because our society tends to do this. This picture shows a child and her thoughts about sharing. She does not want to better anyone else but herself. There is a difference between being greedy and only caring about yourself and then doing what is right for you as a person. Selfishness can be seen both ways. It is your choice to be selfish as long as your intent is not to directly hurt someone just to make yourself feel better. 

This quote shows that being an makes you feel alive, you are able to have your own feelings, actions and go against what society says is the norm. If someone looks at you and says that you are different then the rest you would laugh because in reality those that laugh are conforming and the individual that is different is taking a stand for independence. 

These lines show how you can be a mother even if you have not gone through the process of giving birth. Some mothers never get the chance to hold their babies in their arms if its giving their child up through abortion or adaption. Mothers do not have to be just identified if they gave birth to the child. Caring for the child and guiding the child through life experiences is a major part of being a "mother".   

  This stereotype that men are supposed to be more rugged, that they talk about girls, drive trucks, drink beer, and treat girls like objects and chew tobacco to be a cowboy is seen throughout the lyrics. There are certain lyrics in song such as this one by Blake Shelton that depict how men and women act in today's society.