resources.

now  ,  you encounter weird things in this job all the time.

as far as the rest of the world thinks about it  ,  once its been thrown away  ,  it’s gone  ,  far beyond all human understanding.

still  ,  i’m getting off topic.

the bag of doll’s head’s didn’t bother me.

i don’t think anyone believed us  ,  or if they did they’d immediately try to top it with their own story of bizarre finds.

the third bag was the one that really changed things.

it almost felt like a ritual.

i suppose some things are disconcerting however grim your interests. 

and for a while  ,  that was it.

i don’t know what i expected.

it drew me in almost as much as it disgusted me.

mostly  ,  i’ve just tried to forget about it.

i don’t know what happened. 

let me start from the beginning.

i did enjoy myself in the end.

she just didn’t know what to do.

the important thing is what happened afterwards.

you’ll have to excuse me.

what i saw is difficult to put on paper  ,  but it’s the only way to explain why i had to do it.

setting my flat alight and standing naked in the winter streets until the fire brigade arrived was far better than spending another second in that place.

i could barely make out anything even remotely human in the pile of pitted and warped flesh that now remained.

the flat burned for a very long time.

this story is concerning.

that’s not what really concerns me either  ,  though obviously it’s a tragic loss of life  ,  etcetera  ,  etcetera.

a lot of people call me lucky  ,  you know.

not many came through the entirety of the war in one piece.  

to be perfectly honest i expected him to be dead within a week.

and in that moment i knew what was about to happen.

i met the war.

i remember exactly what he said.

and for a long while that was that.

those are musings for poets  ,  among whom i do not number.

it was very large and very dead and not to put a too fine a point on it  ,  the thing creeped me right the hell out.

i should probably explain my fear a bit  ,  as it wasn’t because of ghosts  ,  or phantom smells  ,  or anything like that.

all the bones are in his hands.

they just watched.

no screaming  ,  not movement  ,  nothing but the roaring of the flames.

almost as soon as i realised this  ,  i began to sweat.

i tried to scream but i couldn’t find my breath  ,  i couldn’t move.

i was burning up.

at that moment i made my decision. 

folk who live here don’t trust easy.

there are places in this world that humanity was never supposed to see.

they are not evil.

they are hunger  ,  consumption  ,  lust  :  all the things that settle under the heart and below the ribcage.

first come  ,  first served.

she is snake bite and mauled bodies.

they called her a witch.

she’d been a bright light on a hard road.

the boy was a liar of course  ,  as many boys are.

some say that place will find you if it wants you there.

hello  ,  my love.

it’s good to see you.

oh  ,  you’ve got to try harder than that.

show me your true face  ,  or don’t come at all.

you have not a name for what i am.

let us talk...of many things.

the air here is heavy.

the place is a rotting tooth in the mouth of the holler  ,  but it is the only molar remaining.

everybody knows that you don’t climb into the dark earth without her swallowing a few of us whole.

a darkness stirred and the path to the world of men stood open.

well  ,  ain’t that a shame.

and i cannot escape the darkness.

this was not a place a little girl should ever play.

i said run  ,  girl.

i told you  ,  that’s where all this started.

it’ll all be over soon  ,  honey. 

just close your eyes.

the kind of rain with drops so big that getting hit by one makes you feel like you’ve been dipped in a pond.

there is a curse upon my every waking breath.

it is going to take me a long long time to organise this mess.

statement begins.

this all happened a couple of years ago  ,  so i apologise if the details are a bit off.

long story short  ,  i was violently ill around midnight  ,  and made the decision to walk the route home.

can i have a cigarette?

for some reason the thought of an anglerfish popped into my head  ,  the single point of light dangled into the darkness  ,  hiding the thing that lures you in.

i felt human enough to leave my flat and go investigate the place in daylight.

beyond that  ,  i didn’t really know what to do.

i find it oddly hard to shake off the impression that it’s beckoning.

everything you’re thinking right now  ,  you’re right.

it was surreal.

do not open.

i don’t know what i expected but it wasn’t that.

i just had no idea what to do.

needless to say i was terrified.

i know i kept waking up in a panic  ,  clutching at my throat and struggling to breathe.

it’s funny how fear can just become as routine as hunger.

yeah  ,  i know that sounds creepy.

there doesn’t seem to be much more to be done here.

doubt it would have done much good.

keep watching.

i guess that’s not directly relevant to my experience but i just want you to know that i’m not some crazy person wandering in off the street.

i felt an odd sensation when i looked at that image as though  ,  as simple as it was  ,  i was about to fall into it.

i’ve never had any fear of heights  ,  but staring at that picture i felt...i don’t know  ,  really.

it seemed to open forever  ,  nothing to do but fall into it.

i looked down to see bones.

small animals bones  ,  from what i can tell  ,  but each one was slightly bent and warped into shapes that bones should not form.

the smell was so strong i could hardly breathe.

my mother doesn’t always know what’s best for our family.