angel in the making

alana. 22. nate archibald's fiancee, future 5th avenue princess. unhealthily obsessed with jazz chisholm jr.

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requests: opened!

never a bad time to talk about Judgey! but I get u, I hope he recovers well and time on the IL will fly fast🙏🏻

but anyhoo, I absolutely love this!

i think maybe Yankees organization could schedule weekly appointments with massage therapists and that's how you two would meet.

i could see him intrigued by you, your warm personality and professionalism combined. you wouldn't be nervous by working with him, from the first appointment you treat him like you've been working with him for ages at that pulls him in. also that you're exactly were you want to be. that you're really fulfilled in your job, which he realizes with each visit.

you talk quite a lot during these sessions, because he can't help himself, he just needs to get to know you better. he's truly fascinated with your job and asks a lot of questions, amazed how you're able to make him and other people this calm and relaxed.

he asks you out, after 2 months, because he can't let a gem like you pass by. of course he has to change the message therapists when you begin to date, but it's fine with both of you.

a/n: it's so long you guys I have no comment. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. inspired by I would by One Direction. Jazz was supposed to be meaner in this one, but I love my man too much.

summary: Ben falls head over heels for you, but you're dating Jazz. Will he finally see you realizing leaving his teammate and falling in l-o-v-e with him instead?

Lately I found myself thinking

Been dreaming about you a lot

Ben knew he was gone for you the second he saw you. It hit him when he least expected it. Just like they said it would. His siblings, his mom, his teammates even. It's gonna come to you when you least expect it.

He wasn't a person to be late to things, but he was this time. And maybe if he wasn't he wouldn't allow himself to fall for you.

Jazz invited him and the rest of Yankees to his annual event for his foundation. Ben heard about it and he was excited to attend as his teammates always have been coming up with something fun.

This time he circled back to his favorite one, which was of course fashion show. PR was there, photographers and a carpet, like a mini All Star weekend. And Ben was running late to that carpet.

At least he wasn't alone. He was driving with Cabby and they were stuck in traffic. Out of all people Judge was late too and he was right behind them in his car.

They've literally run to the carpet. Three of them got out the same time and run like they would if bases were loaded.

Jazz was waiting for them, wheezing with Giancarlo that stood next to him. Max had a little more sympathy for the late three musketeers and covered the smirk on his face with the back of his hand.

"C'mon let's take some pictures" Jazz said pointing the wall.

"There's still time?" Ben asked, still catching his breath.

"Yeah, chill man. They're not gonna start without me, but we have some time left anyway."

"You told us to come earlier so we're not gonna be late?" Aaron asked taking picture of Jazz, Rice and José, infielders present.

"Nah, cuz you are late. They are just readjusting some fits, so it bought you some time" Jazz explained and everyone cackled at Aaron's expression. Then Giancarlo took a pic of Jazz and Aaron together.

"But okay, let's actually get to our seats now" Jazz said leading the way.

"Are you walking today?" Ben asked the 2nd baseman.

"Not today man, gotta let the other star shine tonight" he chuckled and Ben rose his eyebrows, intrigued. Giancarlo said something to Aaron and he just whistled quietly. Ben had a hunch they knew who Jazz was referring to, and he shook his head. Jazz lately provided a lot of gossip and drama and sometimes it was hard to keep up with his personal life.

Ben was curious but now he just wanted to seat down and watch the fashion show, even if he wasn't the Yankees biggest fashionista, it was always entertaining.

Ben noticed most of the models were either black or latine. Some of them he recognized from Jazz stories, his cousins participating, his younger sister too, wearing a custom Bahamian bomber jacket. Latine models had flags of their countries incorporated in their outfit. Some of them on the back of their jackets, some in form bandanas, or silky scarfs.

And there she was. After a segment of outfits with mostly denim, navy and white Yankees colors, she appeared in a tangerine dress. A traditional dress, from which country Ben couldn't remember at first, but then he saw Escarra stood up and clap and it clicked. Bata cubana.

Ben found himself standing up, clapping hands along with everyone else in the room. She looked stunning. The dress fitted her like a glove, and she literally looked like a rising sun. He had to talk to her. At least ask for a name, who she even was.

He decided to ask Jazz beforehand, so it any misunderstanding wouldn't occur. Like if she was already taken, which he wouldn't be surprised. But hey, maybe universe would be on his side.

A quick glance to his right where Jazz sat, to strike up a conversation about her. But Ben realized seat on his right was empty. Everyone was clapping and cheering. Models walked down the runway, waving. The show has ended and she was the closing look. No wonder, Ben thought to himself.

He put a smile on his face, waiting for her to show up again right before Jazz, as it was all in all his show. And boy oh boy, she showed up. Right before Jazz indeed. Ben cheered, as the applause grew louder, but just then we felt like someone poured a bucket of cold water on him.

Jazz followed right after her, catching up to her as she smiled, beautiful and bright. He stood right next to her, arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her in for a short kiss.

Audience went louder, someone whistled, probably José or Escarra, didn't matter. Universe 1, Rice 0.

And up in my head I'm your boyfriend

But that's one thing you've already got

Ben knew no one even saw what went in his mind, what just happened. Well nobody except for him saw that, but he was crushed. Internal crashout over someone who he saw for the first time for like what? 5 minutes? Four? Tick tock tick tock, c'mon Madonna. He needed to shake this, he didn't need Justin Timberlake and Madonna adding to his internal monologue.

“Ben, Ben!” he turned around, feeling somebody tugging his arm. 

“Rice come on, JC asked you for like the third time if you want to get a drink” Caballero teased him. “Max already went with our captains”

Three of them went to the bar and JC was fixing to order two Corona’s for him and Ben and Cabby was going to be Ben’s driver.

“I want tequila” Ben blurted out.

JC raised his eyebrows. He didn’t expect that tonight, but if it was tequila instead of Corona, he certainly didn’t mind.

They were just two shots in, laughing at Cabby’s jokes when the rest of their party joined them. Jose joked something to Aaron about having to drive these kids home later.

“Ayy, eres menor que yo” J.C. called Jose, turning around to order more shots for him and Ben. Giancarlo saw the rest of his teammates still joking about something, and he stepped closer to Ben.

“Rice, if you want to make a decent impression on this girl, you better hold at these two shots” he said in a lower voice, but loud enough for Ben to hear him. He looked up at him and blinked.

“Wha...what girl?”

“You’re barely tipsy kid, don’t play coy” Giancarlo smirked at patted Ben’s shoulder. “You almost fainted when she walked out”

Ben was glad he wasn’t sipping anything because he would for sure choke on the drink. But he already felt heat on his cheeks, and he knew it wasn’t for tequila.

“Shut it, G” he slurred, but pushed the next shot to JC and went to the restroom. He looked fine, Giancarlo must have been just playin, but he did have a point. If by any chance he gets to even introduce himself to Jazz's girlfriend he needs to stop his fun now.

You took a dress off, putting on a skirt, the same one as the dress you just wore to the show. You're still excited, pumped with the positive feeling of being around your friends, Jazz's family.

It's all so familiar and new in one. You knew Jazz's family, met him through his sister back when he was still in highschool and coming to Florida from time to time. He wasn't your best best friend, but has been around for over a decade now, a part of your friend group and keeping in touch with you after you moved to New York and he was still playing for the Marlins.

Jazz as your friend was familiar. Jazz as your boyfriend was a new thing. Now, you were not only the part of his private life, but also work life. You still had your thing going on and no way you'd be at every game home, going on a roadtrip. But you wanted to participate. Wanted to get to know this side of him, his teammates, people working for his foundation.

And tonight was the perfect opportunity to start.

An hour later you already made up your mind on some people. You already couldn't wait for next time you'll talk to some of Jazz's teammates and their spouses. Some of them you'd always share a smile and polite small talk but nothing else, but others you could see befriending.

Jazz excused you to say goodbye to his mom and grandma, who were leaving the city that night. You were conversing with the Grishams and had the best time to be honest.

"I have a feeling you're gonna fit right in" Megan said, clinking a glass. You smiled back at her. "I was a little nervous when Trent got here, pinstripe pride and everything, but there was nothing to worry about"

"We're just a bunch of goofballs who play baseball" Trent added and you laughed. "Look at our inflied trio" he pointed out the table occupied by 6 Yankee players.

You recognized Stanton and Judge, JC Escarra, fellow cubano and the rest of them you knew, but couldn't remember their names.

JC was explaining something to the other guy, (Caballero, but you've always been mixing him up with Cabrera) moving his hands a lot and Trent couldn't help but just wheeze.

"Rice is so tired of his bullshit, he should've kept drinking with him" Trent said.

Then it hit you. The guy between JC and Caballero was Ben Rice. Now you remembered Jazz mentioning him. That he went to Dartmouth, spoke Spanish and given that he asked you not the yell at him in Spanish in front of Rice.

"Jazz, like half of the team speaks Spanish"

"I know, but not half of them were majoring in psychology, I'm not going to couples therapy after one month of dating you"

"We've known each other for ten years, if we were to go to therapy, that wouldn't be from us dating" you shoved his side and he kissed your nose in response.

"Maybe I should say hi, put the end to this discussion. Doesn't do any of them good" you suggested.

Trent nodded. Rice looked like he regretted stepping back form tequila, Judge and Stanton ignored them totally and JC was getting frustrated.

"We're going with you"

Amy Cole had the same idea as the three of you as she joined the table with Gerrit the same time as you.

"Coleee my MANN" JC stopped his rant right when he saw him, and hugged him, clearly more than tipsy at that state. Your presence unnoticed at first as everyone was cackling at Escarra's state.

Big G was the first one to look away from them and notice you.

"You must be Jazz's girlfriend" he said extending his hand, voice smooth. "Giancarlo Stanton, nice to meet you"

"It's so nice to meet you, I was a big fan of yours at the Marlins" you answered, stunned with seeing him and Judge in person.

"Oh, me in the Yankees not so much?" he teased and you let out a nervous laugh, aware of more glances turned to you right now.

"Oh god no, that's not it. Just I'm big Marlins fan, I lived in Miami until high school"

"So not a big New York fan?" Aaron reached to you, introducing himself after the question.

"Hey, I'm wearing the pinstripes, got nothing on me" you raised your hands and they laughed.

Introductions were made and conversation flew easily. You talked to them about baseball, how you got together with Jazz, where you were from (at that information JC lit up again, telling you that he instantly recognized the dress).

"Oh the dress got some applause. Or we should say the model and the dress, right Ben?" Giancarlo spoke, and the attention went to him.

"Yeah, yeah.. the dress was beautiful, model too, I mean, you" he stuttered a bit but you've hit him with the same smile he saw on the runway and he calmed down when you said thank you. You've said it like you meant it, not like it was just another compliment. It was sincere.

You didn't even knew how, but time went so fast. Jazz texted you in the meantime saying that his father's car broke down, so he had to drive to the airport. You'd rather have him next to you, but Trent's wife was right, you fit right in and had a nice time.

Marissa left to the bathroom and you noticed Ben sitting on the couch, JC sleeping next to him. You laughed at the view and Ben looked up, waving at you.

You approached them, and Ben carefully moved JC's head from his shoulder to switch places. He was now in the middle and you sat on his left.

You haven't expected that, but he was the one to start a conversation and you found him different from before. Earlier he stuttered under Stanton's gaze and now he was comfortable. Sure a little reserved and not as outspoken, but conversation flew easy, no awkward silence.

He was in the middle of a story when Escarra snored. You two looked at each other and snorted as quietly as you could.

"Good thing Wells is in the lineup tomorrow" Ben let out.

"And you?"

"Should be DH"

"Oo, that's nice" you smiled at him. Jazz told you Rice was doing great, having almost as much home runs as Judge so early in the season. "I had a little break from baseball, but I wanna catch up"

Ben nodded.

"You're gonna stop by the practice someday?"

"Uh huh" you smiled, taking a sip of your mocktail "tomorrow actually, Jazz asked me to"

Ben's lips streched in a small smile.

"Where'd you lost him by the way?"

"LaGuardia. He had to drop of his family"

"At least you know, me and JC lost Cabby, God knows where"

"Well, if he's not gonna show up, we can drive you home. Jazz should be here in couple minutes"

Ben thanked you and you asked him to come back to the story he was telling you before. You listened with attention and laughed at joke he made.

Jazz's sister joined you, and snuggled to your side on the couch, so you had to get closer to Ben and JC shifted in his nap, his head again at Ben's shoulder.

The three of you talked, Marissa dozing off, but adding to the conversation anyway. You were so invested in it, you haven't notice your man walking up to you with Caballero.

"So you took up on babysitting while I was gone?" Jazz smilled at you and bend down peck your lips.

"That provieded me top entertainment tonight" you smiled back, shaking Marissa's shoulder. "Cabby was gone, didn't want to leave them alone" you pointed to your right, but gave Ben a wink when Jazz and José laughed at were trying to wake JC up.

"Thanks for keeping me company" you told Ben when he got up.

"Oh no, I should be the one thanking you, honestly"

You turned to your boyfriend's direction, he was laughing at JC' confused expression.

"Are we gonna get some tacos?" he asked José and Jazz wheezed.

"Ben help us get him up" he called to him. JC leaned on Ben's shoulder, finally convinced to move.

"But you promise me to get tacos?" he looked at Cabby, eyes big and hopeful.

"Yeah man I promise, just come on, get to the car"

"Hell yeah, I'm goinnn. Who are we going with?" he turned to Ben with this question and before he could answer he turned to you. "We're going with you? You must be the prettiest driver Jazz ever hired" you all cackled at his statement.

"Dude, that's his girlfriend, you met her" Ben tried to scold him, but couldn't stop laughing.

"I did? Oh wait, I did, she was on the runway and you.. OW ¿que estas haciendo?" he looked at Caballero, who dropped his bag directly on JC's foot.

"You were walking too slow" Caballero answered and Ben mouthed a thank you. JC muttered something under his breath, but your group finally got outside. Guys said goodbyes and see you tomorrow's to Jazz when they got JC to the backseat.

"Nice meeting you and thanks for looking out for them" José said to you.

"My pleasure" you smiled back and waved at them with Jazz and Marissa when they drove off.

"Now, as I'm the prettiest driver you've had" you said to Jazz "keys, please"

"Yes, m'am" Jazz complied "tho I'll be watching out for him, so he's not stealing you from me"

"Don't worry babe, JC's not stealing me from you" you told Jazz when you sat in the car with Marissa in the backseat.

You started the engine, turned the music and sang with your man all the way home, trying to drown out a small voice, sneering in the back of your mind. Yeah, JC's not the one to worry about. But that didn't mean Jazz was safe.

He'd kill me without any warning

If he took a look in my brain

You looked like hell. Well, okay you were exaggerating, but bags under your eyes were screaming at you. Your face was dry and puffy, but nothing good morning skincare wouldn't fix.

"You hangover?" you heard Jazz's voice first and then felt his hand on your hip.

"Thanks babe" you shoved him and he chuckled.

"Nah, I just saw you had trouble getting up" he said picking your hair up with a clip claw.

"I don't know, just couldn't sleep"

You were tossing and turning most of the night, and when you finally fell asleep morning came quickly for you. You woke up at a crack of dawn. Jazz was on his side, one arm under the pillow, the other hung on your waist.

You were staring at the ceiling, guilt eating you from the inside. You had done nothing inappropriate, but you felt awful. Here you were, playing with your man's hair as he was sleeping soundly next to you, excited to go with him to the stadium today. Excited because his teammate is going to be there.

A guy you've just met yesterday, but the one who's words and stories you've played in your mind when you went to bed last night.

It wasn't butterflies. You've met a guy and you liked him. Not liked liked, but it clicked. Like a person who could be your friend. Normal reaction.

On the other side of town, there was no denial, but no panic either. Ben knew he was screwed the minute he saw you on the runway. And he went to bed with that thought.

Million thoughts went through his mind at the party, before you joined him and snoring J.C on the couch. He expected to be nervous and awkard, but he started the conversation.

And his intuition hasn't failed. You were great. Funny, charming, attentive, making his mind calm when. But you weren't his. You were somebody else's, his teammate's girlfriend out of all people.

So he decided to enjoy the conversation with you. Enjoy your company tomorrow at practice. Maybe it was gonna go away. Maybe it was just a crush. Maybe...

"Maybe it's not gonna last long" Caballero said to him when he stopped the car at Ben's building.

"What?" Ben let out, snapped out of his thoughts.

José shook his head with a small smile.

"Look, I wish Jazz the best, and he is great guy and all, but we all know his dating life has been a little..."

"Crazy?"

"... bumpy, but whatever you say, Arroz. I wouldn't write it off, if I was you"

Ben smiled a little when he remembered last night's conversation with Cabby. He could be right. But today he wasn't going to go insane. Just act cool. Not nonchalant, but not overly eager. He could do this.

Would he hold you when you're feeling low?

Baby, you should know that I would, I would

He absolutely couldn't do this. You showed up and it was already worse. Wearing baby tee and baggy pants, hair last night in a blowout, today in two loose braids. To Ben's eye no make up on either, and you were radiant.

"I'm not going to any more events with you" he muttered to Caballero when they were halfway through the practice. José looked in her direction, to the dug out where you chatted with Giancarlo.

"You've got it bad" he chuckled.

Ben sat down in the dugout, hiding from the sun. You still talked to Giancarlo, but excused yourself when her phone rang. You smiled, but it faded away slowly.

At first Ben didn't hear anything, as Jazz and Volpe were goofying around, but she waved her hand at her man and they went to the field. You started to walk in circles, your whole vibe different now as Ben heard an annoyance in your voice.

“Pero ¿por qué importa el color del vestido? No mamá, yo lo escogí no el... lo que sea” (But why does the color of the dress matter? No mom, I chose it, not him... whatever)

You ended the call and sat on the bench. Ben looked at you and you turned to look at him. Eyes glassy and Ben felt awful for you. Short phone call, but loaded with emotions and baggage, that Ben was sure the dress was only a tip of an ice berg.

"Just my mom, having one of her days" you said to him, trying to hide a sniffle.

"Just wanted your dress to look different, huh?" he asked.

You look at him, confusion flashes on your face for just a second.

"God, I keep forgetting you're fluent" you let out a nervous laughter and sit down next to Ben. There's a moment of silence between you two and you finally break it looking towards the field.

"My mom despises Jazz" you say, your voice having this worn out tone.

Ben eyes open wide and his head snaps toward you, but you keep looking ahead, where your boyfriend is talking to Caballero. He wishes to do something, but just waits.

"It wasn't always like that. Jazz and I know each other since high school, maybe you know that. But Jazz' family was always more my father's friends than hers, you know? And after the divorce she became so bitter to things my dad brought to my life, bonus points if it made me happy"

Ben felt a small crack in his chest, something twisting in him as it always did when he found people he cared about had to struggle like that wth their own families.

He recognized hesitation in your eyes, like you were wondering if you have overshared.

"Well it was bearable, but she went crazy when she found out we started dating. Now she's whining about it everytime she calls me. Criticizes everything that Jazz does. Just like the dress. She called me to say that it should have Cuban flag colors. Only because I wore it at his event, you know?"

He's about to say that he's sorry, before another pause gets too long, but you open her mouth first, finally looking at him.

"Don't mention it to anyone on the team, okay?" you ask, but there's no plead in your eyes, nor are there tears anymore. You look at him like it's his business not to tell anyone, not to betray your trust.

Ben nods his head, he gets what you mean. He will keep it for himself. He'd rather relive 2024 WS than disappoint you.

You didn't give him much opportunities to disappoint you, as it turned out. The vibe between you shifted after that conversation in a dugout. Or could even Ben call it like that, after literally two days of knowing you.

The next practice you showed up to was a week later. You've attended two Yankees game and then Ben hasn't seen you for two weeks. You guys did follow each other on Instagram tho, but it didn't seem to matter.

You've come around later, not avoiding him, but you were careful not to be alone with him as Ben noticed.

He finally got to talk to you after a Sunday game with the Rays, when Jazz took an awful lot of time, talking to one of his friends. You were waiting for him and Ben just had to break this uncomfortable silence.

"Hey" he said approaching you.

"Hi" you answered, giving him a small smile and you've began to toy with your bracelet.

"I know it's not like we're friends and we don't know each other for that long, but I need to ask..."

"I'm sorry, Ben" you interrupted, looking up to meet his eyes. "I shouldn't have become so distant"

"It's because of that phone call right?"

"Mhm" you nodded. "I felt embarrassed. We've knew each other for a day and I dropped toxic mother lore on you"

"There's no reason for you to feel like that. On my end"

"Yeah, but it is on mine" you gave him a tired smile and he kept looking at you with understanding in his eyes. "I felt.. I don't know, like you wouldn't have judge me, you know? And I was right, but I don't know I felt like I've got too comfortable"

"I would take that as a compliment" he smiled.

"Yeah, rightfully so" you chuckled. "Just sometimes I trust people too early" you muttered more to yourself but he heard that. "But that's my issue. And I shouldn't have avoided you. I like your company" you let out finally.

"So do I" Ben's smile grew wider and for the first time in a couple of weeks he felt hope rising in his chest.

"Starting over?" you reached out a hand and he shook it with a smile.

"Starting over"

Feels like I'm constantly playing

A game that I'm destined to lose

Ben thought you two starting over was the thing he wanted. And don't get him wrong, things were going much better than they were when you were avoiding him. But God did it hurt.

He never experienced this type of pain.

Everything else was going better than he would imagine. On the field he was on fire. He was healthy. Yankees were doing great, and the chemistry on the team was great.

Peak social life as after games he hung out a lot with his friends, family and teammates. That obviously included Jazz and you. He even met your family too. Your sister and dad came to one of the games and they were cool as you were. One of the best summers he'd had.

Except for the fact that after every time he saw you, he was coming home and stared at the wall. Screamed in the pillow sometimes.

And little did he know, that you'd feel the same way. Not for the same reasons as he did, but fate has it's own, tricky ways.

You'd felt even more frustrated this summer. Like Ben's you could've call it one of the best summers, for same reasons. Career life and social life was just what you've wanted. Whereas your relationship... what's not meant to last, would always crack under a certain amount of pressure.

Cause I can't compete with your boyfriend

He's got 27 tattoos

By the end of summer Ben felt like it was completely hopeless. You and Jazz caught the attention of the media and became fan favorites. And Ben couldn't blame them. You were both so electric, so bright. What could he bring to your life that Jazz hasn't already?

Only Jazz and you knew that it wasn't as perfect. You've had more fun than you had during the time you knew each other, but you both begin to feel like you're circling back to being friends more than lovers.

It lacked depth. You haven't talked for hours before falling asleep like you've had. You haven't been as giddy and excited to see each other after away games. You thought maybe it just was an end of honeymoon phase, but it was something else.

Jazz noticed it when you've become distant. Like you're body was there, but mentally you were somewhere else. You could've spend days working, getting busy, just to curl up next to him in bed and crying softly in his arms.

He'd always asked what was wrong, pulling you closer and stroking your hair, but you rarely answered. Just saying that you were tired.

Then you acted like a life of the party at games, hang out with Yankees and the other wags, but home you've been getting quiet. You'd still talk to Jazz, kiss him back, but it felt to him like you weren't there with him.

"Just tell me what is it" he asked one evening after a night out with friends. He stepped out of the shower and found you in the same place you sat 15 minutes ago. Purse clutched in your hand, heels still on, head down.

"It's my mom" you said, looking at him.

"What's she on again?" he asked and the tiredness in his voice ticked you off.

"I'm not even gonna bother to explain" you sighed, getting up.

"Why? Lately it's the last thing you wanna do, it seems. Talking to me"

"Because you don't even understand, Jazz"

"You never give me a chance to"

"Is that true? Everytime my mother does something like that, you brush it off" you said voice getting higher and louder.

"Because if I'd analyze her behavior everytime, I'd go insane. You have to let go. She caused you enough pain"

Tears appear in your eyes, threatening to spill and your throat tightens. Jazz is right and you know that. But the tone he says that with, you can't stand it. It's calm it's not mocking and it frustares you even more. He wants to help you. But he never could understand. Things like this are too easy for him, but sadly not for you.

"Not everyone is as good at not caring as you" you muttered

"What's that suppose to mean?" his demeanor changed as he felt attacked. "Hey I've listened to you. I've held you while you cried" he began to list things off when you haven't said a thing. "I even talked to her. Asked her to give us a break. I wanted to help you but all you do is pushing me away"

"You just... just" your voice begins to tremble "it's so easy for you Jazz. You expect me to be like you in that matter. And god I wish I could've been. But that's just one thing where we differ and, and it had been killing me lately. We're good when the things are good, but when there's a problem that cannot be solved right away we just..."

"We go apart" Jazz said.

"Yeah"

You're breathing slowed down as Jazz was walking in circles slowly. He walked up to his rag and goes through jackets, trying to get his thoughts together.

"It wasn't like that before" he finally let out.

You shook your head and your eyes met.

"We weren't putting such responsibility on it. It comes with certain pressure, relationship I mean"

Jazz noded and sat cross legged across you.

You kept looking at each other, bitterness and annoyance slowly leaving as for the first time in weeks you've felt like you were on the same page.

Your boyfriend spoke first.

"I guess I've never stopped looking at you like the female version of me" you snorted, because you knew what he meant. "Like there's a little more under that carefree facade you hide behind. Just haven't learned how to deal with that"

"And I've actually felt better when I had you as friend only. Before I've put this belief in my head that now you're my boyfriend you will fix my whole world"

"So I assume you want me to drop the "boy" from boyfriend" he chuckles after a while.

Your laugh is shaky when you say yes and you don't even know when but he pulls you into a hug. The smoothest break up for you both. Because it was going back to being each other's friend instead of boyfriend and girlfriend. Like it was meant to be.

Would he touch you? Would he need you?

Would he love you like I would?

You show up less and less on games. Your still present but not how you've used to. Your text with Ben become more frequent, but he rarely gets to see you and he feels like he might lose his mind any day now.

He feels like he knows you quite well, but it frustrates him because he never even was alone with you, so it doesn't feel accurate.

He would love to go out with you. To have you close for one evening. It doesn't even have to be dinner and a movie. Could be just a movie. You wouldn't even need to talk to him. He could just admire you in a light coming from a silver screen and it would make him the happiest.

Thank heavens, someone finally made him realize that it's totally fine for him to ask you out. Because your not Jazz's girlfriend anymore. You weren't for a month now, but poor boy was to busy with yearning and hitting homers to notice.

It happens at the party, two days after Yankees made it to October. Whole team is there, not only with wifes and girlfriends but family members too.

Ben is holding a wine glass in his hand, not really fond of it right now, but he takes a sip from time to time, pretending to listen to what Cam is saying.

Caballero interrupts Cam, and Ben doesn't even notice.

"Scuse me man, but lover boy here needs to be brought back to earth" he says and Cam laughs at now Ben snaps out of his thoughts, realizing his friends are grinning at him.

"I swear Arroz, if you're just gonna keep looking at her like that, not making a move again..."

"Stop fucking teasing me, Jazz is literally next to her" he bites back, surprising them with his tone.

They look in your direction and then at Ben. You're standing there in a group of four. Jazz is across from you, and you stand next to his cousin laughing at Jazz and Tim Hills conversation.

When Ben doesn't look away, Caballero decides he needs to put and end to this misery.

"Ben, they are not together. I'm not shitting you, they are not"

Ben's head turns to José with speed light, his eyes are wide as pies. For a second his mind is trying to trick him into thinking that his friend is like, but José looks dead serious. And then Fried says:

"Oh come on, even I knew that"

A little while later Ben finds you at the bar, looking at the NYC skyline. He says hi when he approches you and you smile, going for a side hug. He takes it as a sign from universe and good for him.

There's a comfortable silence between you for a while before he gathers the courage to speak up.

"I... I don't want to even embarrass myself any longer, so I-i, there's this thing I wanted to ask"

"Shoot your shot, Benito" you smirk. He chuckles nervously, but feels gets some assurance from the nickname you've called him sometimes.

"Would you go out with me? For a dinner. Or a coffee, or whatever you want honestly"

"Hmm, interesting offer" you hum. "For a date sounds like the best option tho" you flash him your pretty smile and he smiles back, teeth out and butterflies dance in your stomach. You loved his smile from the beginning.

He sits next to you, and your knees brush. You just look at each other, unaware of Cam, José, JC and Max watching you from the distance, happy smiles on their faces.

"Took you quite enough" you say quietly.

"I promise you, I'll make it worth the wait" he assures you and he sound so genuine, so excited. No cockiness under it and you love it. It's not what you're used to, but it feels so nice.

"I know you will" you say and lean forward to peck his lips. It's short, his brain even registers it.

"You can kiss me after our date" you murmur. "just little something to make you look forward to it"

You slide down from the bar stool as you whisper bye Ben into his ear. He watches you walking away and you turn around to wink at him. When you reach the stairs you can hear the guys.

Another celebration as they run to Ben. He sits on his chair, surrounded by four of his teammates who congratulate him, JC patting his back and Giancarlo joins them too, happy that an 6 month yearn finally seems to get Rice somewhere.

Somewhere that Ben exactly wants to be. You just agreed to go out on a day with him, hell suggesting it even. He feels like he'd hit a walk off, knowing damn well that tonight before he falls asleep he's gonna go through all of the first date options he's planned.

After the first date, he has a new thing to look forward to, besides next dates of course. The moments he's gonna tell you that he loves you.

He knew it long time ago. He tried to convince himself that he's not sure yet, but he's done fighting it and your date only justified it for him. He loves you, end of story.

And just wait when he finds out that you have the same conclusions. You knew it's going to be fast. You know you're not ready to say it yet, but there's no denying it, you're falling in love. With the person who's not your copy, but rather your half. Like the moon and the sun.

Would he say he's in L-O-V-E?

Well, if it was me, then I would, I would

a/n: if you made it here I respect and appreciate you so much! it would mean the world to me to see what you think of this fic🤍

taggin: @yearning4soto @peachmango-kombucha @jarrensweb @wildlaufey3 @diorjtrk @xoxokiaraaxoxo @ricevolpe @you-got-me-star-lost-16 @lani-i-i @retrohooks @caballeropilled @hockeygirlyyyy

that's Arrocito to me:

time to travel with our captainnn🌞 shorter post than Cody's, but I hope you'll enjoy anyway and that these places make sense🫶🏻

Amalfi Coast, Italy 🇮🇹

Italy was the first thought as come on it's just a dream destination. La dolce vita, dolce far niente type vacay at Amalfi Coast. Spending days at the beach, soaking up the sun, swimming too. Eating pasta, especially scialatielli popular pasta type in the Amalfi. And lots of lemon desserts, dinners accompanied by a glass of limoncello spritz.

Aaron would love this type of vacation, just admiring views, architecture, people, culture, ocean and you of course. His phone would be filled with photos and he also would bring digital camera for the trip.

Barbados 🇧🇧

Something about Barbados was calling my name I don't know. I feel like Aaron could arrange this trip for either a birthday or anniversary. If it's your birthday he'd plan a day or two to fly out your loved ones there and celebrate, but most of the trip would be just the two of you.

You'd take a trip to Bridgetown, sightseeing, but his favourite time would definitely be spend by the ocean. He would take you to the beach everyday to watch the sunset, and again take the most breathtaking pictures of you, because by that time he would be trained.

I also see having beautiful photographs of you two, taken by a friend or even a photographer.

At the tour of the caves, which there are quite a bit to see in Barbados, Aaron's hands would be on you all the time, holding you close.

Japan 🇯🇵

ngl, it popped into my mind because of how him and Ohtani are always compared and because baseball is so popular in Japan.

Anyhoo, I believe that it would be a fun trip for Aaron as he is a 90s baby (and for some reason they remind me of Japan) and also a longer stay! I see as Tokyo would be the first stop and you would explore the city, shop a lot, try new dishes. even though Aaron most likely is not a sushi/fish guy he'd enjoy Japanese meat dishes.

He would be recognized a lot and that's why the second part of the trip would be spend at Japan's countryside, some cozy house that reminds you of studio Ghibli movies, where you two could fully enjoy each other's company and slow down.

taggin: @peachmango-kombucha @jarrensweb @wildlaufey3 @you-got-me-star-lost-16 @diorjtrk @melaniemami @hockeygirlyyyy @lani-i-i @thelunarbar @retrohooks @judgeyswife @xoxokiaraaxoxo

warnings: lil spice at the end

Let me welcome to our first 4 destinations!! I hope it can cheer us all up after this kind of floppy week from the Yanks. Pack your bags, Belli's not gonna wait😙

Mykonos, Greece 🇬🇷

Greece was suggested by my friend, and it left me choosing between Santorini and Mykonos, and as Mykonos seems livelier it had to go to Cody.  

I have a feeling he would love, love local food.

A lot of time spend at Mykonos’ beaches as there’s so manyyy. 

Exploring Little Venice and Old Town + him turning to professional photographer there.  

Walks on the beach hand in hand that you start at golden hour and finish at dusk.  

Monaco 🇲🇨

It was actually the first thought I had for Cody! I can’t explain why, but I totally see him dating someone who is into Formula 1. Him flying out with his partner to see GP Monaco that is usually held first week of June.

I see it as a short getaway, attending the race followed by a candlelight dinner outside on day one, the next spend sightseeing, Prince Palace, Casino in Monte Carlo, wandering around Monaco-Ville.  

Maldives 🇲🇻

Again, my friend literally enlightened me with this one. Fits perfectly with 2016 revival and bringing colors to life. That would be the ultimate reset and relaxation, perfect vacation. Cody would spend first couple days resting, adjusting to jet lag and watching you in the outfits you brought for the trip. Even if that would be oversized t-shirt because he’d swore Maldives give you this special glow.

He would spend a lot of time with you swimming or tanning, relaxing by the pool or the ocean. Floating breakfast would definitely be something he would order a couple of times for you. 

After he gets his rest and jet lag is gone, he convinces you to scuba dive with him and at the beach he acts like a carefree child. Also, we all know he would love to smoke a fat one, while laying on a bed net hammock, looking at the ocean, sunset and most importantly you🩵

Oregon, USA 🏞

Least sunny out of the bunch, but I feel like it suits Belli so muchh. I could see it as a getaway when New York gets either too hot in the summer or when you really need a breather.

I see Cody booking everything after you mention to him you used to go hiking a lot when you were a kid, didn't really enjoy it, but you'd give everything to find yourself in one of these cozy cabins you and your family always stayed.

he'd take you to some city by the coast first

enjoying Oregon's seashore and sweater weather

because there is something in spending time by the sea on a cloudier day, still warm but not summer like heat

a lot of hiking

seeing Multnomah Falls

Cody plans the ending of your trip to stay for a few days in the most perfect cottage. He already knows you packed a separate bag with comfiest sweatshirts, that mostly are his anyway. He booked cabin in the woods, with porch, cozy, but with big windows in the living room and the coziest bedroom you could possibly imagine.

And now imagine this. You're on a chill hike, ready to go into the last phase of the trip, just enjoying each other company, doing nothing but being close to each other. You alligned your plans with the weather or at least tried to. Rain got you and your teeth were chattering, but when you closed the door of the cabin you two burst out laughing.

Cody starts the kettle for tea or coffee and you quickly take out dry clothes out of the closet. You shower together and cuddle on the couch in clean, dry lounge sets you'd completed out of your favorite pants and sweaters. Despite tea warming your body from the inside and Cody's chest from the outside you're still not as satisfied. The moment your lips meet his neck, his arms wrap around your frame as he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom.

Rain's battering outside, rooms is dim as clouds are dark. Cody puts you down on the bed so gently. Everything he does now is slow, deliberate. He touches you not to tease you, not to rush you, just to make you feel good.

Outside the temperature dropped, but you were hot and heavy, every inch of you on fire that was burning slowly and your man was simultaneously stoking up and putting it out.

Welcome to the new series of moodboards+headcanons!✈️🌍🌁🌅🗽

I invite you to join me in a journey around the world and my imagination!

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝟑-𝟓) 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨.

𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 (𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦) 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬!

Lineup:

1) Cody Bellinger

2) Aaron Judge

3) Giancarlo Stanton/Jazz Chisholm Jr - soon

disclaimer: i'm aware some of these places are better to travel during the baseball season, but i can't help mentioning them. mind that it's just fiction and my fantasy. some countries I've been dreaming of going to since forever but have to put on hold due to geopolitics, might show up in this series.

jack schlossberg x female reader

a/n: spring is my all time fav season and last year I've done spring headcanons for Nate Archibald so now it's Jack's turn!

jack gives the vibe of someone who finds positivity in every season, even in the ugly january-march phase

even if he doesn't mind the colder weather he can't help to get excited about spring coming to nyc

he awaits it with you, as you are beyond tired with jackets, coast, and hats

speaking of which when it's finally warm enough to lose the hat you get to try hairstyles you'd been dying to

he'd help you braid your hair in the way you couldn't bc winter hats been ruining it

he's appreciating all the new hairstyles

you laugh your ass off when you two are trying to get your hair into a french twist and fail everytime

you spend a lot of time outside!

dates spend in the parks

Rockefeller Park being your go to on off days

going on walks, trying out new drinks, holding your hands, slowing down as you don't need to rush from place to place because of how cold it is

on rainy days when he comes home before you he opens the windows so the apartment can smell like rain

he buys you candles that are more on that fresh, flowery notes

he buys you flowers all year, but during spring time the apartment has new ones everyday, keeping a rotation of them

rose flavored things steal you away

you watch great british bake off on sundays afternoons, always with a sweet treat and a tea to fit the UK vibe (that is oddly comforting to you both)

speaking of treats or snacks, Jack's favorite are onigiris!

he'd been making them since a long time and this spring he'd taught you

you'd also try a lot in restaurants, but you'd find yourself loving your boyfriend's the most

but you both enjoy a matcha + onigiri date

you do a spring reset on a first day that feels like it, you just get this kick of energy, air smells like change and opportunity

you don't suspect a thing - just living your life, making time to enjoy the season on your busy days too...

but Jack planned something for you, cleared your schedule, took care of everything and when it was time he told you to pack

you were walking down the street and you stopped to take a picture of blossoming magnolia while Jack was looking at you, enamored

he wrapped his arms around you, his nose nuzzling your neck

"I wanted to tell you at home, but I think I need to do it now"

you looked at him, curiosity written all over your face when he told you he has a surprise for you

he opens pinterest out of all things and you see it

hanami forecast for 2026

"that's where we're gonna go, starting on 23rd in Kagoshima, then i'm taking you to Tokyo" he gave you gentle kiss when your eyes lit up "and we're gonna finish the trip in Kyoto, how does that sound?"

you turn around in his arms and kiss him in the middle of the street and he smiles into it

hanami trip goes wonderful and you take amazing pics in the outfits you planned and everything turned out amazing

another places crossed of your bucket list and one more dream coming true

and Jack couldn't be happier when shortly after the trip he sees a new frame on your desk

his favorite picture of you and him on that trip

you two stand by the Cherry Blossom in Kyoto's suburb, taken by a lovely grandpa

Jack was explaining to this man how you'd like the picture taken and you kissed him, mid sentance

he couldn't be happier that he took you to Japan, and he's already planning a trip for the next season

he loved them since the beginning. how they fit in in his, even though yours are so much smaller. and when you first held hands he didn't want to let you go.

your relationship launch was a picture your hands laced together when you were walking out of the stadium in the tunnel.

he noticed that your hands are a little bit of a fixation for you too. you always took care of them. spf on them whenever you were driving, especially when you were spending time in California or Tampa.

when it starts to get cold outside, gloves are always on your hands or in the pockets of your coats and jackets and you carry at least one hand cream in your purse.

how you take care of them shows your attention to detail and what can you say, you want them pretty because you and Aaron both know there's gonna be a pretty diamond for you to show off quite soon.

but your main thing were your nails. you loved finding new designs. sometimes you did then yourself. not only the simple ones, but the ones with charms, swirls, little drawings. when you weren't feeling like it, you would just make and appointment. Aaron paid always.

he waited for you to show him new nails everytime you were getting them. he loved everything about them and sometimes even picked the design when you couldn't decide.

you saved his day, after a lost game when he went 0-4 and was annoyed with himself. they've just made a sweep two days ago and today it was cold, rain delay after 5th inning lasted god knows how long.

but you were home. you were waiting for him and that's all that mattered for him.

you greeted him by door, kissing him slowly. he put down the duffle bag so he could put both his hands on you. he pulled you closer by your waist and you moaned into the kiss. he pulled away and leaned down to smell your hair.

"thank god you're here" he sighed and his hands caressed your back and he just now acknowledged what you were wearing. white silky robe was covering your frame and it was untied. navy lace peeking out.

"babe" he breathed out, taking a step back so he could admire you. you let the robe slid down on the floor.

"come on, baby" you smiled sweetly and reached out your hand "i ran you a bath"

Aaron followed you to the bathroom, holding your hand and admiring your body. when you stepped into the bathroom he kicked the door and pulled you to himself. his hands were on you again as he started kissing you.

you tugged on his shirt and he pulled back to pull it over his head. your hands rested on his pecks when you kissed him deeply. he groaned into the kiss and in a second you were scooped up off the floor, your legs wrapped themselves around his waist. you kept kissing, grunts leaving his mouth and your moans getting louder. it started as a lazy make out session and it was getting desperate now.

and Aaron that was desperate, hungry for you and your touch? your favourite version of him.

you got back on your feet, pulling away, to which he reacted with something between a groan and whine.

"water's gonna get cold, Aaron" you murmured. "get in"

his eyes were wide and dark and he kept his gaze on you as he was getting undressed. he was semi hard when he stepped closer to the tub and looked at you like he was tired of your antics, but not annoyed yet.

"trust me babe, get in" you said, voice overly sweet.

he narrowed his eyes, but stepped in the giant bathtub as you told him to do. he sat down and despite the tension building inside him, he couldn't ignore the feeling of warm water around his body, his muscles thanking him.

you went behind him and he gave you an impatient glance.

"that was a preview, baby. just relax, i won't leave you hanging for too long" you murmured into his ear, kissing the spot behind his ear that never failed to make him weak in the knees.

you knelt down behind the tub and poured scented body oil on your palms. he felt the scent and his mind went quiet, body steadier. you began to rub the oil to his skin, getting rid of tied knots above his shoulder blades.

you loved to give him massages, not complicated ones, but you learnt the basics and what relaxed him. you were ahead anways, since he loved everything that you did to him with his hands and you learnt how to use it to both his and your pleasure.

"how we feelin?" you asked, face inches away from his, when your hands rubbed small circles on his chest.

"great, but would be better if you got in now"

"as you wish, love" you smlied and pecked his lips. you moved to the side of the bath, unclapsing your bra.

"take these off" you said and he kissed your stomach before tugging your panties down. you stepped out of them and finally joined Aaron. you slid next to him, on his left side, your leg going over his thigh. he didn't wait and pulled you next to him, no intention of containing his need for you anymore.

you practically were lying on his chest as you kissed and you took his dick into your hand, pumping him slowly, to slowly for his liking. he bucked his hips up and you decided to stop torturing him.

"let me get a taste first" you whispered and leaned down. level of water was just to his hip bones, and you gasped at the view of his dick, fully hard now, above the surface. it was all wet obviously, but it also was glistening with pre cum already. your pussy clenched around nothing at the proof of how turned on your man was.

you licked a fat stripe and he shivered and was ready to protest when you pulled away, but moaned instead when you wrapped your hand around his shaft and gripped his balls with the other.

"teased you for too long, huh?" you asked. he was panting and you sat on your heels. you started to twist your hands around him, taking his length in both of them. you smeared down the pre cum, humming at the sounds he was making. you were getting wetter and wetter, making your man feel good always doing that for you.

you could feel he was close and you leaned down to suck at his balls, moving your hands faster when his hand went into your hair, his short nails digging into your scalp.

"baby, you're doing so good" he groaned. "fuck, babe" it was followed by a string of curses and then a growl that made your clit twich. ropes of cum spilling out and you wrapped your lips around his head, taking it.

he'd came down from his high and you smiled bright at him.

"you're unreal, baby" he rasped, pulling you closer to himself.

tiredness and annoyance from the game completely gone now. he felt like a new man and it was all thanks to you. you were on his chest again and he fingered you lazily, teasing you in return. he was fully hard again when he made you finish. you panted against his neck, his name still on your lips and he was peppering your face with kisses.

it was just one orgasm, but your legs were shaking anyway. Aaron decided water went too cold and help you get up. you dried yourself and you reached out for your robe, but he grabbed your hand and shook his head.

"uh uh, not done with you babe" he picked you up, bridal style and carried you to the bedroom. you squealed and giggled, but clinged to him anyway.

he loved your hands, for sure. but your man would always take the opportunity to get inside you. and why would you say no to him? not when he was about to turn your brain into a mush for the second time that night.

for my mari🤍

awee, thanks!! that's so sweet of you and im happy you like it here💕

dad! jazz chisholm jr. x female reader

a/n: it's raining since a week where i am and i needed this as a comfort. i hope you'll enjoy my vision of him as a father. in my mind he's in his mid 30s in this one

summary: a glimpse inside your day as a mom of two + jazz teaching his son well (it's a fluff mainly, but some tw's below)

tw: mentions of mental health issues and an absent parent

How was it that nothing was going your way? You’d think motherhood would make you more organized and put together, and it did, but some days you were back to your chaotic self, which was not bad, unless that chaos was getting out of hand. And today it was definitely getting.  

You opened your fridge and found out that you almost ran out of your favorite almond milk. The one you’d always used for your iced coffees, but recently Jazz took a liking to it too and he kept leaving almost empty carton in the fridge most of the time. You knew you had three more stashed in the pantry, but you haven't had the time for it this morning. Guess you’d make your coffee an americano instead.  

“Mommy, you’ve seen Simba?” Jordan, your son asked, just seemed to finish his breakfast.  

“Oh honey, I don't know, it’s not in your backpack?”  

You heard the zip and turned to your son, and he shook his head. You remembered that he fell asleep on the couch with his dad. It was already after dinner and his bath, so when Jazz realized he dozed off and his son did too and was sound asleep, he carried him to his room. But before he did, you’ve taken a picture - Jazz with his arm wrapped around your son, who was glued to his side, clutching a lion plushie in his small hand.  

“Hmm, I think someone may have forgotten to wake Simba up from his nap on the couch” you smiled at Jordan and he jumped off his chair to get his toy. He ran towards you then, clashing with your legs and hugging them, happy that he was reunited with his plushie.  

“Mommy you’re the bestest!” he exclaimed  

“Awee, thank you, baby” you cooed, hugging him. At least Jordan thought that you were the best.  

----- 

“We’re picking you up earlier today, remember?” you asked Jordan, kissing his cheek when you arrived at his preschool.  

“Yeah! We're gonna be home for lunchiee” he exclaimed and giggled. “Is Daddy coming with you?” he asked. 

“Hmm, he should. He’s gonna meet me and Dalia and then we’re getting you, cutie” 

You kissed his cheek once more and his little sister reached out her hands towards him. 

“Bye, D”  

“Bye, J”  

You smiled at their cute interaction. It was a new thing for them to call each other by their initials. Dalia couldn’t pronounce R’s yet, and one day she was very upset about it and your little man came up with a solution. You sighed, waving at him. He was getting so big and was so smart. His emotional intelligence beyond his age.  

---- 

Your day was going well but you were so grateful for the fact that you would be pick up Jordan earlier. You had a couple of errands to run and a meeting with your co-workers. Dalia acted perfectly; she wasn’t fussy or anything. And as greateful as you were for that, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of these past few days on your shoulders. The week before getting your period always getting the best out of you. Slight pain in the lower part of your back signaling it.  

You decided that you and your daughter deserved a treat. Meeting went smoothly and you had some time before going back to Jordan’s pre-school. You made a stop in a recently opened cafe that has already become one of your favorites. They served amazing matcha and selection of Japanese desserts. Dalia was enjoying a blueberry mochi; you were sipping on your matcha when your phone vibrated. It was Jazz.  

“Hey Prince, what’s up?” you asked and your daughter smiled, mouthing the word “dada” and you nodded your head.  

“What? Are you okay?” were the next words that Dalia heard. “Jazz, oh my god...” she looked at you confused as you were listening to her dad. “Okay, let’s do that, yeah. No, it’s fine. I’m glad that you’re okay. I love you too” with that you hung up. 

“Mama...?” Dalia asked and reached for your hand. “Is Daddy okay?” You sighed and sat your daughter on your lap, kissing her hair.  

“Yes, daddy’s fine, but he’ll meet us home.” she nodded her head, satisfied with your answer. Jazz called, saying that there was an accident on the way home, the street completely blocked and he would not have make it on time to meet you to pick up Jordan. Everything was fine with him, but when you heard the word accident from his mouth your heart stopped. Despite your day going well, you were on edge mentally.  

Dalia finished her mochi and you were on the way to the pre-school. You put on some Disney songs, by request of your daughter and you felt better. You thought about seeing your son and meeting Jazz home and you were excited about it. You thought nothing will surprise you today, but of course, the universe had one more test of your emotional strength in plans for you today.  

Jordan hugged you and Dalia when you arrived and showed you a picture he drew today. He was changing his shoes, Dalia stood by him and held Simba for him and then the teacher approached you. 

“Ms. Chisholm!” you turned around, it was miss Derocher, one of two teachers responsible for Jordan’s group, the one who he liked better. She stood by the door and had a warm smile on her face but looked concerned.  

“Ms. Chisholm, I didn’t call you, because you told me you were going to be here before lunch, so...” she looked quite nervous and that made you anxious too. “...Jordan got into a fight today. No, not physical” she added quickly, when your face went still.  

“Him and Kaleb said a few words to each other, and they haven’t talked for the rest of the day. Something set Kaleb off; I don’t know what. It happened when they were drawing. He yelled at Jordan, but he hasn’t yelled back. He just said something to him when Kaleb left to sit at another table. I just wanted to inform you, because I know how close they are”  

You blinked, surprised by that. You turned to check on Jordan, and you wouldn’t tell something happened earlier if Ms. Derocher hasn’t told you. He was laughing at something that Dalia said. 

“Do you know what Kaleb said?” 

She shook her head.  “I haven’t heard that exactly, I just heard the word "father”. I asked Jordan about it later and he told me that Kaleb is just jealous. But then Fay, the girl that sat with them came up to me and told me Kaleb said that Jordan is a showoff just like his father.”  

You swallowed and shook your head. Kaleb was close with Jordan since they’ve started pre-school, and he often visited your house as Jordan did his. You and Jazz liked his parents, and sometimes Kaleb and them were your and Jordan’s company at Yankees games.  

“Ms. Derocher, do you know about Kaleb’s parents' situation?” you asked her, because you were suspecting what caused Kaleb’s outburst.  His father was getting more and absent. You talked to his mom a while ago, and she cried on your shoulder. His mental health was worsening, and he tried to find a solution by moving in with his family, in upstate New York. He was visiting on the weekends, but it was not enough for Kaleb, who was very close to him before. “I mean his father not living here in the city”  

She looked at you; eyes filled with understanding and a quiet gratitude for your emphatic soul. She knew how other parents were; they would’ve immediately demanded a conversation with Kaleb’s parents, whether he was their kid’s friend or not. You looked upon the teacher’s shoulder, and you saw him. Your son’s friend, looking shyly at you, repentant. He shook his head, like he wanted to say that he’s sorry, and you mouthed a soft it’s okay. 

----- 

By the time you got out of the car, it started to rain. With small droplets coming down, Dalia giggled as she always did when she felt water on her skin. Just when you got the kids inside, it turned into a rainstorm. You took that as a sign of universe, taking a pity on you and giving you a break finally.  

You were walking upstairs, Jordan and Dalia talking over each other. Jordan put down his backpack next to his dad’s duffle bag and grabbed a drawing.  

“Wash your hands first, baby. Daddy’s waiting for us” you spoke in a gentle voice and smiled at Jordan’s reaction. Dalia kicked off her sneakers and ran after her brother. You felt the weight slipping off your shoulders already, when you heard your husband's and chef’s Casey voices. It smelled like something delicious and comforting. You remembered now, Casey mentioning to you yesterday that Jazz asked for something Jamaican, one of his favorite cuisines, after his home country.  

“Hi, chef” you greeted her first with a tired but sincere smile. Jazz face lit up, and he looked even more like sunshine to you, if that even was possible. You shared a few words with Casey, and asked her about her weekend plans, as she had this one off. You said your goodbyes and she caught up with the kids when they were making their way to the dining area.  

“Jazz” you said in a small voice, and he instantly opened his arms, offering you an embrace that you took with a sigh of relief. His hands landed on the small of your back, rubbing circles and yours stayed on his chest.  

“You’re safe now, whatever today was” he murmured, pressing a kiss at your temple. No questions if your day was rough, what happened. He already knew by the way you melted into the hug, that it was. He also knew you were going to tell him everything. But not now. Now it was time for the four of you to sit down and have lunch a little later than usual, but together.  

----- 

Your stomach was filled with jerk chicken, and you took Dalia upstairs for her nap.  

“Stay with her if you want to. We’ve got everything covered here.” Jazz said, grabbing your hand when you’ve got up from your place. He rubbed your palm with his thumb, and you pecked his lips.   

“Yeah, I could use a nap too”  

Dalia fell asleep fast. When you were home just with her, you always let her sleep in your and Jazz’s bed. It was a little moment for you to relax too. You either napped, read a book, or just lay down next to her, listening to music. The day must have really made you tired, cause when you woke up the alarm read 4 pm. Your daughter was still asleep, but she was already fidgeting. You realized you had a blanket over your body, and you were sure it wasn’t there before. Jazz certainly checked up on you.  

You went to the bathroom really quick, before Dalia could wake up and you realized you finally got your period. In a few hours you would get cramps, but it was fine, as you’ll be able to be cozy in your bed by that time.  

“Hi, little girl” you cooed when you saw Dalia opening her eyes. They were the same color as Jazz’s but had your shape. “Did you sleep well, hm?“ you tickled her sides and her giggles filled the room. “We’re gonna see what Daddy and Jordan are doing, what do you say?” you asked, picking her up. She clapped her hands and squealed happily.  You came downstairs and heard your boys’ voices from the kitchen. 

“Dalia would like sprinkles” it was Jordan, trying to make a point. 

“Yeah, but not on each one, mama won’t like that” Jazz responded.  

“We can make a special one with just sprinkles and stars” Jordan hummed after a while. 

You saw them, Jazz standing on the counter with Jordan by his side on a chair. They were in the process of decorating cupcakes. One row was finished, decorated with blueberries; the other had shredded coconut, and apparently, they were debating the third row.  

“Well, aren’t you two a sweethearts making desserts?” you asked, letting them know od you and Dalia’s presence. 

“Cuties mama, dada and J are cuties!” Dalia chirped, making all of you laugh. Jazz took Dalia in his arms and gave you a small kiss.  

“This one is for you, little lady” he said to her, and blew a raspberry to her cheek. “We took out your favorite sprinkles” she sat on the counter, decorating the cupcake with his brother. Jazz had his hand behind her back and reached out for the blueberry cupcake with cream cheese frosting, offering you a bite. You took it and hummed. They were baked by chef Casey, as Jazz never baked without you, but he mastered your favorite frostings to perfection.  

“Kiss for the chef” he murmured and smiled when you leaned in.  

“Kisses for sous chef, too” you said, approaching Jordan and kissing his forehead and he smiled big and bright.  

The rest of the afternoon was filled with an atmosphere like that. Jazz kept decorating the cupcakes with your kids and you made tea. The four of you ate your desserts and moved on to the living room, kids jumping on the giant couch. Jordan wanted to watch The Lion King once again, it was his favorite lately, while Dalia wanted Bluey, that Jordan claimed was too boring. But they’ve reached a compromise when Jazz reminded them of Paddington.  

It was the ultimate level of coziness, chamomile relaxed you, and you were glued to Jazz’s side, heating bag and his palm on your abdomen under the blanket. Jordan was sitting on Jazz’s lap and Dalia sat against your chest, her legs lined with her dad’s thigh.  

When the movie ended, it was time for a quick dinner or supper in that instance. You weren’t hungry at all. Your cramps were getting worse, and you just wanted to take a shower and an Advil. Jazz knew what was going on, and he assured you he’s gonna take care of the kids for the rest of the night. They will have supper together and he will give them a bath. 

You swallowed the pill and with a huge mug of rose petal tea you went upstairs. You took a quick but hot shower and put on your coziest pjs. You could barely keep your eyes open, so you’ve opted for an audiobook instead of paper copy. An hour later you’ve heard your kids and felt them getting on the bed. They came to say goodnight to you. You’ve kissed and hugged them, giving each one a kiss on their forehead as you always did before sleep. 

“Daddy will read you a bedtime story tonight” you said, when they were leaving.  

“You don’t need bedtime story, mommy?” Dalia asked and you smiled at her. 

“Not tonight, babygirl, mama’s so sleepy I will be asleep in no time” you waved at them one more time and the thought of Jordan being quieter this evening crossed your mind.  You’ll ask Jazz later, maybe you were just tired.  

In fact, you were so tired that you fell asleep right after Jazz took the kids to sleep. Later when he came to bed himself, he readjusted your pillows and took the heating pad from your tummy, replacing it with his hands, as he spooned you and fell asleep like a baby, breathing in the scent of your bodywash.  

But before that happened, he had one more conversation to carry on.  

At this point you and Jazz had shared intuition. He also sensed that Jordan was quieter, but tried to explain it by tiredness. But when Dalia already fell asleep and it was time to go to Jordan’s room and read him a bed time story, Jazz knew that something bothered his son. He was not focused on the story at all and kept staring in different directions.  

“Dad?” 

Jazz looked at him, like he waited for him to ask the question.  

“Yes, buddy?” 

Jordan had a pout on his lips and his eyes got glassy. It was a cue for Jazz to get up from his spot by Jordan’s bed and sit next to his side, wrapping his arm around him.  

“What is it, J? You know you can ask me anything” he murmured into his hair.  

“Why is mama sad? I made her sad?” Jordan’s small voice, caused a little crack in Jazz heart. He pulled him closer immediately.  

“Buddy nooo, what made you think that? Mama is just tired, but you’re last person on earth that would make her sad, son”  

Jordan looked at him, with a little less preoccupied expression.  

“It’s just.. mama was quiet when we were driving home. And she cried yesterday when she was doing my hair” 

 Jazz already had a reassuring answer, but his son surprised him again.  

“And her tummy always hurts after when she’s sad a lot, I don’t want mama to be hurt” 

“Jordan, listen to me very carefully” Jazz shifted on the bed to be able to look at his son. “I’ll explain everything to you, but first things first you need to trust me it’s neither your fault or mama, aight?” His tone was gentle and he still had his arm around Jordan. He relaxed a bit and looked up at his dad, nodding his head.  

Jazz took a breath in, his mind trying to figure out the best way to explain it to Jordan. His eyes landed on a lamp on a bed side table. Lamp in shape of the moon that was the first thing you brought to the apartment, when you moved in with Jazz. You could set the lamp on each phase of the moon, or regulate it however you wanted. Jordan loved it so much that you moved it there.  

“Jordan, you know how moon works”Jazz stated and Jordan nodded his head once again. “Well, mama’s body kinda works the same way. You know when moon is full, it is so bright so beautiful for a couple of days, then…” 

“Mommy is beautiful all the time” Jordan interrupted and Jazz chuckled.  

“She is, she is, but so is the moon. It is a beautiful in every phase, but what we focus on here is the light. Mommy also has couple days in a month were she feels the prettiest, she’s happy, she’s energetic. Of course she can be all of those things in any day, but on that time, she just gets extra energy from her body, it motivates her.” 

“Her body gives her the most energy like the full moon gives the most light?” Jordan asked with a sparkle in his eyes.  

“Exactly, my man” Jazz smiled. “But you know that the moon starts to fade, after it’s full. And so is mama’s energy sometimes. She still doing her thing, but some things are just taking more energy from her. The simple task seem bigger, may feel more difficult, because she’s slowly losing that energy, and..” 

“And then she disappears?” Jordan gasped, thinking of a new moon.  

“No, son no” he laughed “She doesn’t disappear literally. She just… hmm, you mentioned that her tummy hurts right and that’s kinda what happens. The energy and strength are low and mama's body hurts. Most of the time her tummy, but her back to. She feels extra tired, needs to slow down, like today. That’s why she went to sleep earlier after the movie.” 

Jordan noded his head to, but Jazz could see there still was some insecurity lingering.  

“But again a phase. It lasts only a couple days. Mommy’s resting, taking things slower and what happens after new moon, son?” 

“It's.. It’s waxing! It’s getting bigger and is full again” sparkle was back in his eyes as he was connecting the dots and Jazz caught that.  

“Soo, what does it mean for mama?” he asked.  

“That she’s getting her energy back! And she’s okay again!” 

“Yeah, that’s right son” Jazz high fived him and tickled his sides. “What it is Jordan is that it’s not your fault. It’s human nature and biology. It was yesterday when mom was doing your hair. And you know how she wants the best for you; she was upset she couldn’t do your twists as fast as she wanted, you know? Not your fault. And not hers. Mama sometimes is too hard on herself.” 

“Why is she? Mommy’s beautiful. Kind. She’s the best mommy I could have” Jordan said with a pout, pulling his dad heart strings. You truly was the best, and Jazz couldn’t be happier seeing his son in such awe of you, the love of his life.  

“Mommy must face a lot of expectations, you know. From herself, from other people. It’s not so easy. And mommy is a woman, and people always expect more from them. But that’s a conversation for another evening, buddy” Jordan mumbled a soft okay.  

“But are we like moon too Daddy? Is it just mama?” 

“No, Jordan me and you are not, but mama is. All women, not just her. It’s definitely not easy for them. That’s why we appreciate them, respect them, never taking them for granted, son.” Jordan nodded, these rules weren’t nothing new for him.  

“Mommy is like the moon princess then” he stated a while later.  

“If you put it that way” Jazz chuckled. "You can tell her that tomorrow, she will love that.” Jordan showed his dad a wide smile in response. Jazz decided it was time for bed for real this time. He got off the bed and tucked Jordan in.  

“Is Dalia like that too?” he asked when he was already under the covers, clutching Simba instead of his dad’s hand. “She never slows down” he knitted his eyebrows. 

“Dalia is of course a princess, son.” Jazz said but knew he didn’t even have to remind Jordan of that. His little sister was already the apple of his eye. “But she’s not the moon one yet. She’ll have the phases like moon, when she grows up.” 

It seemed to make sense for Jordan as he hugged his plushie tighter and closed his eyes with a sigh.  

“Thank you, Daddy. I better go to sleep; I'm taking our princesses for your game tomorrow.” he mumbled with eyes closed but was right. Saturday game with the Marlins and Jazz was already pumped to have the three of you there.  

“Yeah, we need rest for that, my man. Sleep tight.” he kissed the top of his head and made his way out. He popped to Dalia’s room and she was sound asleep too.  

He finally made his way to your shared bedroom, and he saw you just getting under the covers.  

“Why are you up?” 

“What took you so long?” you asked at the same time.  

“I needed to change” you said, turning lay on your right side as Jazz lied down on his side of the bed, making space for you to lay on his chest.  

“I had a little longer conversation with Jordan” he murmured against your hair, and he told you everything he told your son.  

“I’m so glad you’re his father Jazz” you leaned closer.  

“I’m so glad that you're his mom, too. That we have him and Dalia. Jordan thinks you’re the best too, he told me that. Oh, and he as a new nickname for you.” 

“He does? What is it?” 

“He’s gonna tell you tomorrow, but I promised him you’ll like it. I know you will”  

“Never a dull moment with you” you sighed and closed your eyes. 

“Never”