I shaved my head a month or two ago. I don’t regret it. I loved it short. Buzzed. It’s growing out. I actually think it’s growing on me *badumtss*

People love me. People care about me. I am funny. I am careful. I am quick witted. I am this. I am that. Imagine people caring about you. I have this.

Imagine having love. Because I do. I know it can be tough.

Imagine having support. Because I do. It can be a little overwhelming but it engulfs me.

Imagine having none of it when you need it.

being a support system for yourself.

Imagine realizing the unimaginable. Imagine now, these people who have held you so close have done so at their own reckoning. Imagine conveniency. Imagine laying aside your shit so much you’re not even a serious factor.

You are funny. You are careful. You are this, that. Quick witted. Maybe not this time.

Find your peace in that statement. It works it’s way positive to find its way to a negative. And don’t forget the positive. And the negative. It roams a street we’ve walked so many times and still strays to a different path somehow. Lots of bends and curves we’d rather go without. Stumbling upon our next best effort at avoiding these routes.

sometimes I feel like my alcohol use does define me

I want to get rid of my past

But I can’t do it

It makes me sad and happy and a little angry and even amused by the things I’ve posted on this stupid, silly blog.

I want the fresh start but I can’t help but hold on