spoken silence

My stomach is eating its self knowing food will help but help will kill me. my heart has fallen from my chest to a place only you can find it. My body living by nothing more then the pain of never being good enough. I wanna kill myself so I waste away slowly tasting the pain running in my blood, my mind what's to take the fast way out and fly to the earth from heights not so far away heart bleeding from the joy of dying slowly. Body feeling so good I wish you were here to enjoy yet hating the fact I want your heart to be the only one feeling my soul cry. I post not to look for kind words or happy vibes only for the point of telling you I hate being alive but I'm happily dying because you just let the blood drip, giving me the puzzle of a life time yet I've lost growing to hate my passion for adventure I've grown to hate myself for ever thinking I was smart good at problem solving. I've become cold hearted and numb minded stopped caring if the world ever sees the sun come up again yet the night takes away no more pain the stars of yesterday wish the stars of last night would've just shot me killing me when I still had very little hope left now no drive to even drink water. Killing myself slowly with my own existence.