sky full of stars

Here’s my take with all the dirt. An ENTP looks great from the outside because we make you laugh, we give you true insightful criticism, we know all about your interests, and really “understand” you -we know logically why you feel like you do, even if you don’t. We find creative “why didn’t I think of that” solutions to not only your life problems but your computer problems too. We can charm your grandparents, your parents, and your friends. We can party with the extraverts, and sit in silence with the introverts. We can talk Trek with nerds, and Baudelaire with artsy-fartsies. You probably didn’t notice us in high school because we were in our embryonic pseudo INTP/INTJ morph. But you got surprised when you saw us back from college break and though we looked different (aka more desirable). We seem now just oh so dreamy and exciting. But all that takes a -lot- of energy. It’s a performance we put on tailor made, on the spot, just for you. Eventually we get tired and the mask slips off. That’s when you think we’re shallow or self-centered, but the truth is, you misunderstood our performance for personal interest. (And maybe we did too — it’s easy to lose yourself as a method actor.) But we’re just as cold and analytical ruthless as the other NTs: We don’t nitpick you apart like an INTJ, or categorize your usefulness like an ENTJ, or test your mental capacity like an INTP. We understand you by (subconsciously) pushing all your secret buttons…for good or bad. Maybe you fell in love with us, but now your angry and conflicted because you don’t understand why we’re suddenly being cold and distant. We’ve retreated — because while we’re good at faking emotion, and logically understanding why people feel a certain way, we’re really terrible at actually handling emotion. We get overpowered by it and annoyed by the illogicalness of it. ( Besides, we’ve already found a new shiny.) Now you hate us…but here is some consolation. We have a built-in nemesis and he’s a real bastard. We turn that critical wide-ranging eye on ourselves. You can’t see it from the outside, but were utter perfectionists in our heads and we relentlessly measure ourselves against the realistically unachievable. Somehow we can’t find the same easy solutions to our problems as to everyone else’s, and we become mired in too many possibilities, haunted by how inadequate our own creative efforts seem to us. We at once believe our own hype, and ruthlessly condemn ourselves. We’ll may you our creations (probably something ½ finished). We secretly want your praise, like an 8 yo child. We don’t accept your garlands though (unless you’re an expert we respect) — because we’ve already judged ourself against Perfection and came out wanting. If you tell us you think it’s good, we won’t believe you. For what you mistook as bravado and arrogance, is really very wry, very sarcastic self-mortification.  We can stagnate in our mess of ideas, with no external system of organization to help us move forward. We have brief mad rushes of energy —back, forward, right, left, a random walk of ideas with a net movement of zero. If you’re really smart, being an ENTP is a double curse…because your ideas are loftier, your movements more wide-ranging, your internal critic all the more perniciously accurate. You stand on the shoulders of titans, glimpsing something wonderful across the jungle of possibilities, and sketch out a map. But then it happens: SJ reality. They turn off your water because you forgot to pay the bill. A check bounces because you didn’t know how much money you had in the account. You burn dinner because you’re suddenly obsessed with typing out a manifesto on a blog. You tell a friend you’ll meet him at 7:00 and show up at 9:00. You forget to call your mother on her birthday. You put off simple annoyances (like depositing a check) for weeks. Your mighty creative intuition gets mostly employed to talk your way out of the stupid jams your procrastination landed you in. People with lesser talents, pass you by and you make excuses: (The internal critic says it’s because your stupid and lazy). You don’t get the promotion because while you have a lot of good ideas, you don’t follow through. You’re unreliable. You have no problems expressing your boredom with your job or critiquing your boss publicly in front of his superiors, not realizing the implications. SJ boss now -really- doesn’t like you. You get A’s in some college classes and F’s in others — but all your NT professors still think you’re intelligent, even the one’s giving your F’s, because they’ve fallen for your charms and excuses.  But people like you — they think your unique, clever and entertaining, because you are. They give you chances. So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off from your failures, and try again. Maybe you get your self another brilliant ENTP friend and start Apple Computer. Or write Candide. Or invent Quantum Electrodynamics. Or host the Daily Show. Maybe tomorrow. Or Next week. But what you’ll probably do, instead of working on finishing a paper your supposed to be readying for peer review, you’ll spend an hour typing out a cathartic blog post that’s maybe more about your own insecurities than being an ENTP. So is ENTP the best of all the types? Hell yes it is. =)”