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@discipline-diaries
Things I find embarrassing and awful but can't stop myself doing anyway: putting an appointment in our shared calendar when I know I'm going to need one and then waiting while the clock ticks down in the knowledge that (a) I'm about to be naked over her knee and it will hurt and (b) before I do I'm gonna have to to look her in the eye and say "please may I have a spanking". In words.
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I don't know why I find it so impossible to focus on Fridays but I'm going to ask for a spanking to keep me on track. Just a sharp five minutes over Emma's knee will give me a sore bottom to sit on and mean I get through work as efficiently as possible.
Back to work the first day after vacation is always hard, so I asked if I could have a quick spanking before I got dressed just to give me a focus. I wasn't expecting to be told to take it on my wet bottom before I'd even dried off, but it's sure a good way to make a short otk session land properly.
Feeling much clearer having been sent off to work with a lecture about remembering my responsibilities, and a sore bottom to sit on.
Found myself procrastinating like hell this morning so I asked for a lunchtime spanking (wfh perks) and got 10 minutes in the corner, maybe 10 over Emma's knee with my bottom bared discussing why I was unfocused, and then probably 5 taking my spanking and a bit more lecturing along the way.
And part of me hates to say it but I'm finding it much easier to concentrate with a sore bottom.
Yesterday was originally going to be just a kind of maintenance check-in spanking, but as we discussed beforehand we agreed that actually I needed some proper discipline/correction. It's been a really busy couple of weeks but as Emma reminded me, it's in the busy times when it's all the more important to take care of myself, prioritize what's important, and be conscious about not allowing stress to affect my behaviour in the ways that really matter. And I totally agreed that I needed a firm reminder of that.
So she ended up asking me to take my clothes off and spend 15min in the corner reflecting, and then she started me off over her knee before putting me over the back of the couch for probably 20mins with the hairbrush (a lot of lecturing/discussion during that time as well as actually taking my spanking). I haven't been spanked properly hard for a while and I did cry a lot but felt so much better afterwards.
Planning to ask for just a hand-spanking before bed tomorrow so that my ass is good and sore for work on Monday as a reminder to stay on track.
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Got a hard week coming up at work so I've asked for daily spankings to keep me grounded. First one before bed tonight. It really helps me to have a sore bottom all the time to remind me that I'm cared for and to keep some perspective.
Tricky one today- my nipples are really sore still from ... last night (no further info required) but unfortunately today I earned a spanking and Emma had me take it naked over the ottoman. So not only is my bottom now (very) sore as well but my poor puffy nipples were dragging on the fabric every time I moved, which I guess is at least motivation to stay in position. TL;DR I'm feeling very sorry for myself indeed.
A taste of real discipline at home
Have you ever been spanked and/or plugged in public?
Spanked no, that would be a hard no for both of us. Plugged, occasionally, but only if I feel like I really need something to keep me in sync and we have to be somewhere so we don't have time to talk about it the way we do before a spanking. But it's not a planned part of my discipline or anything.
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I get why it can be good for discipline to be planned and to have a routine/ritual, and I do like the familiarity of knowing what I have to do when I'm told I'm getting a spanking, but for example today I was being unnecessarily snippy just before we were about to go out and Emma just turned me round against the kitchen counter, bared my bottom and spanked me real quick there and then, like just ten on each side with her hand. And that just kind of settled me down and we carried on with our day.
So. Spontaneity can be good too.
It's been the kind of day at work where I'm still sore from my maintenance at the weekend but I'm in such a tense, unfocused mood that I've already texted Em asking if she'll spank me again before bed. She's out this evening but it will just centre me so much better the rest of the day if I know that when she tells me she's on her way home, it means it's time to lay the hairbrush out for her next to my folded pyjamas, and wait naked with my nose in the corner until she gets in. Honestly I feel calmer just thinking about her leading me over to the bed and asking me to get in position.
I know there'll be a lot of talking before we begin but the thought of her hand resting heavy on my ass while she listens, and then telling me to take a deep breath before she starts to discipline me ... I need it. I just really fucking need to be spanked to tears on my bare bottom today.
If it ever seems like I'm getting too comfortable with our maintenance spanking routine, like now unfortunately, I get some time with a plug in as well and I HATE it. There's just something so extra humbling about holding my cheeks open and staying still while Emma puts it in and then having to just get on with my day with my ass so full for at least an hour sometimes more. And then if I have a plug in, I know it means I'm taking my spanking naked, so there's the whole extra ordeal of taking my clothes off and feeling that extra bit of humiliation. AND knowing that she'll only take the plug out of my ass after I've been spanked and it always hurts worse coming out when my cheeks are hot and sore and tense. It always does the trick which is to remind me of the purpose of maintenance but FUCK. I just want 6pm to come so I can get it over with.
Underrated moments: when Emma puts me to bed with a smacked bottom and turns me over to inspect me before she pulls up the covers, and gives me a few more on each cheek there and then if she thinks I need it. Being looked after.
It's been a while since I've needed a spanking but we decided last night that things have built up to the point where it'll be a helpful release. Even deciding that was quite cathartic/reassuring... last night when it was safely in the future. But oh man, it's knowing all morning that it's coming. Which Em absolutely knows is the bit that teaches me the most, hence taking down my panties and having me wait over the back of the chair for I kid you not 15 minutes. Then so much TALKING in between spanks. Introspection. Accountability. Ew.
Got to the point where finally being allowed over her knee and just getting spanked good and hard felt like a treat.
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Sent to her room and told to "get ready" for a spanking.
Getting ready for a spanking meant being naked from the waist down. It also meant having answers to the questions "Why do you deserve this spanking?" and "How are you going to change your behavior to avoid another spanking?" and "What will happen to your bottom if this every happens again?" In addition to a very sore backside and a lot of tears, a spanking also means she will be confined to her room for the rest of the day and will be grounded for a whole week. If she can manage to behave herself for the whole week, then she'll be free at the end of her sentence. Any missteps though and it's another spanking and another week of being grounded.
But sometimes, the waiting is the hardest part. Shivering, her lower half covered in goosebumps, her nipples as hard as bullets. Her heart beats loud and hard while the minute hand on the clock seems frozen in place. Sometimes she cries out of guilt or fear or both. Up until the moment she's actually getting spanked, she convinces herself the waiting is more painful. But then, once it starts, she remembers just how bad spankings hurt. But despite the pain and the tears and the shameful begging, it still sometimes feels like a relief when her door finally opens and it's time to begin.
Whenever we go on vacation, Emma always makes sure I see her pack the hairbrush she uses to spank me. Neither of us actually use it to brush our hair so the sole purpose of bringing it is in case I need to be disciplined whilst we're away. (If I'm in a difficult mood, she sometimes puts it in her bag when we're out and about - I know she'd never spank me in public but it's a good reminder.)
