'Monsters are real and they are human

“Yeah cause you two are so close.” He knew his was lying. “I don’t want ou there period tell ya what if you promise me you won’t go I will take you to the salon the day of the show and you can get your hair done and then when it’s over I’m buying box dye and we’re coming home and dyeing brown again and you can live with your generic box brown hair instead of the chestnut golden brown locks I gifted you genetically how’s that sound? Speaking of trauma I hope you care about mine it’s taking a lot from me to make this deal.” Why did she do this? “Stop using me to make you and your “husbands” love life more interesting.”

I never thought any of the Reid’s were ugly honey that was what started the problem. Of course i think you’re beautiful.” He rolled his eyes at her question. “Oh are they now? No. I’ll be talking to Thaddeus about that cause Roblyn’s already predisposed to being a sadist she’s not watching that.” He grabbed his phone out and text while talking to Khaleesi. “And what makes you want to be there for that? To induce more trauma? No you’re not I’ll hold you down and sit on you still the times over and trust me there’s not rewind on that one. But please don’t make me hold you down just say you won’t go. By the way don’t say it like that in front of your grandmother alright. It’s a sad day she’s losing her husband for good.” He laughed at her. “If a drop of bleach touches that head I’m shaving it you’re gonna wish I was kidding.”

“Khaleesi no sweetie you get upset every time I tell you about how your Reidy looks trigger Gampa’s PTSD.” He sighed cleaning up the things she’d just sat around from coming through the door. “The mostest of what your grandpa’s” He laughed. “Don’t make me laugh.” Since the other one was a serial Kiki ma ma.  “Yes! Sweetie great idea! Wear a wig and then at the night of the show just wear that wig! Oh my god you’ve done it you’ve figured it out my genius girl.” He kissed the side of her head.

Crap! Bekka thought to herself. She hadn’t exactly told Dimitri about how she lost custody of the boys. Bekka hoped Dimitri would just go along with it and that he wouldn’t make a stink and prove to Rebekka they weren’t communicating as much as they should have been this last bit, while she watched the boys. “Capeesh!” She replied swiftly hoping to put an end to this conversation now. “Hey! there's my tyger man!” She picked Ty up. “Woah, he’s heavy!” She kissed her baby. Thadd ran over to Bekka and stood by her side and she picked him up. “Oh wow! Look, Dim both of them. No hands!” She laughed the boys were hanging onto their mother.

The audacity. Dimitri thought of Rebekkah. “Of course not.” He assured her and was taken by surprise to find out Bekka lost the boys but poker faced it to not give Rebekkah Reason. He forced a smile. “We appreciate it. The boy’s couldn’t ask for a better Grandmother.” He looked at Bekka and shook his head half embarrassed she done that infront of her mother. “Thanks again they’ll visit all the time and facetime you know the drill enjoy you time.” He turned to Bekka and gave her wtf Bekka eyes because she didn’t tell him enough but he had no room to talk. “Lets get kiddos!” They loaded the boy’s into the suv which was quite the tiring task moving all the carseats from Rebekkahs car to thiers then getting the boys to calm down and sit still while they were all getting buckled in. “Lucy you have splaining to do.” He sighed at Bekka because she lost custody. “But it can wait. I’m not in the mood.” He shut the door to the vehicle. “What now?”

In a way Bekka treated the situation like he was a veteran with ptsd. (Only speaking of the trauma if he brought it up.) She didn’t know how else to comprehended the ridiculous shit he told her and to think that there was anything more was just too overwhelming to process. Sometimes baby steps are best. It was foreign to be someone else’s support system. Often just reaching out her oddly cold hand for him to take a hold or a piece of twizzler it was complicated. Bekka felt helpless most days but was forcing herself to make things easier even though they were mute at times.

Bekka halted all her research on the missing prostitutes’ case to work on what was most important in front of her now. It was awkward sometimes and she wasn’t the type to believe in energies until she experienced it like this. Was this what healing concealed wounds felt like or were they still bleeding? regardless she wanted to be with him.

“Do you think there’s so many versions of us because the universe wont stop until it gets us right?” Her eyes drifted over at him as the lay in bed and she decided to break the silence and think out loud. Her fingers twists his longer chestnut locks.

It was almost fictional. Bekka, like Dimitri had been so many different versions of themselves. Bekka wasn’t the same girl he met in the fire lane. Not the same girl that lost her dad. Not the same woman that became a mother to his children. Not the same lover that let a single rose wilt in her work locker. And not the same sober human she claimed to be on the 4th of July a few years ago. Different now but still suffering the consequences of her past self’s fuck ups. But still knowing there would be more mistakes made as long as she was growing and taking steps forwards and hopefully not backwards like she had done in the past.

Dimitri looked at her with his eyes having a slight gloss as she really had grasped his attention the way nothing had grasped it in the months he’d been home. and he paused taking it in feeling it affect him deeper by the passing second.  “That is the most profoundly beautiful, romantic, wise thing I’ve ever heard in my life. and I think you’re exactly right.” He said looked at her for a moment. “You make me fall in love with you all over again every time.” He said almost confused because he didn’t believe it himself that this feeling to be recreated over and over again by the same person in a different way from the first. He put his hands on her face. “The best is yet to come.” He said because he himself had been scared that the best of his life was behind him including their love because of the things that had transpired during it making him fear it was too damaged only for her words to spit on it and scrub away at the damage revealing it to only be rust. He let the words linger for only a moment then pulled her in and kissed her. “It’s a privilege to know every version of you I've got to know this far and its gonna be privilege to wake up and get to know every single you I wake up to in the future.” He smiled small with sad eyes. “If only you’ll tolerate me to.” He said and smiled a honest smile that wasn’t for the first time in a while wasn’t forced.

Dimitri’s amount of overwhelm was unprocessed by even him. Dimitri wasn’t asked to hold atticus but even still he refused (not like they’d let a supposed dead and deranged looking man hold a 1 year old.) “I wanna tell you I will but I need time to tell myself first.” He said in a dull emotionally absent tone.” Elliot looked at Bekka unsure what was going on and if the police needed to be called. Ultimately Bekka came back to Virginia with Dimitri them leaving the boys with rebekkah for the time being. It was hard and some days Dimitri didn’t say anything At all but she did somehow manage to try to make up happy again and let there still be a them much to his surprise. He still felt unable to tell her much of anything other than it wasn’t his fault and to please believe him. He told her as much as it was Jane and she had killed tate as a cover up and that they were living in a house in the middle of nowhere handcuffed to the nearest bed or chair and that he tried to leave a lot of times but had no such luck yet he didn’t go into the nitty gritty details of these attempts like the sliced achellies tendon from the rigged gas petal or the whole chainsaw fiasco and the falling off the top of the house or even the buried alive and jane dying thing cause of his father. but rather that he escaped when she was taking him back to the carter home to kill him.nor did he mention anything of the cult or his daughter Lilith with Jane. He didn’t want to hide things but hadn’t figured the best way to get her to understand the magnitude of the situation and he didn’t want Gordonto investigate him cause knowing bekka she’d want justice but dimitri had already handled that himself oh and he didn’t tell her that he was married and widowed by now from Jane.

The last three months had been a blur, Bekka rolled over to face Dimitri in bed. His eyes were already open it appeared he hadn’t been sleeping yet again and was a bit startling to see someone staring into the abyss of their reality it was beginning to mimic a barrel of a gun.

When could things resume she thought to herself. Her own mind trying to forget the trauma to protect her. “When can it be the way it was?” Like before, before he vanished or ‘died’. Rebekkah had been continuously looking after the boys including the youngest Atti, so they could work on what was left of each other.

 “I’m so tired, Dim.” He wasn’t the same man she once knew, but they both had changed over this course of time in their lives. 

It was a similar situation of getting to know someone new again. Bekka was giving her best efforts to be patient but finding it difficult as she was somewhat of an impatient being and like always, her tolerance cut even shorter with Dimitri for whatever reason. 

Elliot looked hard at Dimitri and noticed him from pictures and the uncanny resemblance to Thaddeus. He then seen the look on Bekka’s face and felt the need to over compensate to be happy and make Bekka also see this as a happy moment because he could she her conflict. “It is this time.” Elliot had no idea what as going on where Dead Dimitri had been and if this was a thing to be happy sad mad or scared about.

The look on Dimitri’s face was that of a wayward Lion returning home to find his throne had been over thrown without battle. but he dismissed it for the bigger picture for the time being because he had yet to evaluate where he and Bekka stood but from what it looked like it wasn’t the homecoming he’s wished for but more of the one he expected and even more than that dreaded. “Where the fuck are my boy’s?” He pushed past Bekka. “Thaddeus! Gadget! Ty! Daddy’s home!” He almost frantically in desperation almost if to just see if they were still alive like no one but he could sustain their life because of his  Called his children. He looked at Elliot. “Don’t leave on my account Fabio.”