a single, blinking blue light in a server room

//open(introV2) "r" //opening.... hello? if you're reading this, someone else is out there! welcome to the blog. I don't really mind what you call me - digi, digiwastes, waste, digiwastes tumblr, whatever. Just don't be mean about it. i don't really know what to put in one of these.. so, this is the best i have. Feel free to tag me in art or coding posts, or ask me about my interests! my askbox should be open. (also for anyone who knew me beforehand: no you don't. eh, feel free to interact if you want) tags: #central server - my text posts and general ramblings #error! - important posts like this one #a ghost in the shell - irl photos and posts #archived sites - reblogs. Feel free to block this if you want. user banner things (idk what theyre called):

I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself now. I've left education, and although I'm trying to look for a job, it's... slow.

also doesn't help i planned to use this year to work on a game as a portfolio piece, only to learn i am DEFINITELY too dumb for this. Or.. it feels that way at least.

my prom is soon too, and after that, I've got 2 volunteer days then i don't ever go back. But i don't know what I'm going to do after that. I never even thought i would make it this far, and everywhere i look wants people with more work experience than me. But also nobody wants to train people so we can GET said experience. It feels a bit like a never ending loop, in that way. So, is there even a point?

I doubt I'll go through with it, but maybe prom could be a final day, in more ways than one.

problem is that i know i can be more. and i WANT to be more. But, it seems wherever i turn, is either so fiercely competitive that i would never get in, requires levels of education i don't have the brain for, or wants training that nobody will ever actually give out. I don't want to be useless, god my family has enough people like that, but... how much can i do? I'm getting nowhere.

I have been listening to a lot of this persons music as of late, its actually really good! if anyone here cares about more atmospheric stuff, i would definitely check them out. They release stuff all the time as well, so that's a plus. All their stuff is pretty good, kinda floaty - like floating through some kind of digital void.

(Kinda reminds me a little of early grimes with more drums, just how echoey it is and stuff. Thats good, i like that. I'm bad at comparisons so feel free to tell me how wrong i am.)

ughhhhhhhhhhhh......

i'm gonna complain a bit to be prepared for that

this was hell to set up! originally i was gonna make this an alt of my existing account, but....

uh... in my years on the internet, i DELETED THE EMAIL. and don't remember what i set as my password.

the only way to change this, is to reset my email. using my password. or reset my password. USING MY EMAIL. so i couldn't do either. Meaning i might lose my original account when my phone inevitably breaks. not fun, given ive had that account for a damn long time (in my standards) now.