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“You wanna go home? But honey you are home!”

“Hush, you’re being fussy it’s just a hug blanket, straight jackets don’t have cartoon characters.”

“Shhhhhh okay calm down little one, Mommy has a special bottle for you, just open your mouth and I can let you breathe again.”

“Good girl. Look how quickly you finished your bottle, isn’t Mommy’s milk tasty?”

“You need to use the bathroom? Do you mean the potty? Usually I wouldn’t let such a little one go alone, but just this once I’ll let you try without my help okay?”

“Sweetie, it’s been five minutes I’m coming in! Oh poor thing, could you not make it to the potty and had an accident in your big girl pants?”

“My fault because of the hug blanket? But dear, big girls know to ask for help. Instead you had an accident, does that make you a big girl?”

No, no. It's okay, cutie. Shhhh. Listen to me. It's okay. I got you.

Feel the bedsheet you're laying on? Doesn't it feel soft? Just lay your hand on it. Do you feel the cool night air as you spread your legs back and forth, like a little snow angel?

Hear the pretty owls and bugs outside? Hear the cars zooming to go home?

See the pretty bedsheet patterns, your plushies, all the shapes and colors around you?

This is a lot to take in, isn't it? And as you take more in, I ask again

Soften

You're just a baby. The world is so much bigger and colorful through your eyes. Everything is bigger for you. Your world, your diapers, your emotions.

Shhhh, it's okay. Emotions are sooo hard, aren't they? But you're just a baby. It's okay to cry and be sensitive or to be happy and giggle.

Your emotions are a river flowing through you.

Let it pass.

Soften

You're always going to be this tiny

This receptive

This sensitive

Read my words, reread my words. Every letter, let it sink in.

Do you still feel the cold air, see the pretty colors? Do you feel any emotions right now?

Doesn't it make you wanna giggle, feeling so sensitive? Like the littlest noise would startle you?

It's proof you're a baby

So laugh

Cry

Giggle

Without a second thought, whenever, wherever

Reach, grab, run, sleep, throw

You'll never grow the thick skin adults have, and that's a gift

So lastly, my precious little one,

“There’s my good girl, keep going.”

“You’re too high? No baby, you’re just overheating. Let’s take these clothes off.”

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re so beautiful like this.”

“You’re dizzy? Lay down, sweetheart. Let me take care of you.”

“Don’t worry about what my hands are doing. You want a body high don’t you?”

*Click*

Not too loud, but enough to be noticeable every time, coming from a little black button Mama wears around her wrist.

*Click*

The innocent sound started to work its way into your brain, now you expect to hear it any time you use your diapers.

*Click*

As you have many times before, you go to Mama to use your diapers. "Mama, I hafta-"

*Click*