Things I’ve learnt from diapers
For those of you who’ve just joined us, hi. I’m Kali. I’m a 21-year-old male who now wears diapers full time. I’m a DL / non-regressive AB* (see footnote). I wet the bed and have some day control issues. I wasn’t always that way, though, so as a ‘normal’ person spelunking in the realm of full-time diaper wear, I feel like here are some things you should know.
Shaving down there is necessary - it should be short enough that if your finger is touching hair it is also touching skin (that is, very short). This is because powder and barrier cream are an integral part of being diapered. If you don’t shave they just mat the hair rather than forming a barrier with the skin.
You need to put lotion and powder on more area than you think. A lot of people just hit the mons pubis and maybe the forward perineum. While lying on your back, raise your legs straight up and put your hands on your butt cheeks, fingertips touching, with the index finger running along the butt-thigh join. All the area covered by your hands needs lotion and powder as well.
If you’re going to be wetting and think you might be lying on your back or side while doing so, really look into cloth diapers. My experience doing this with disposable diapers is that you often find yourself with a leak on the hip you’re lying on, or on your lower back, and for some reason it’s very hard to feel these leaks. Nowadays, when I have the choice, I sleep in cloth diapers.
CLOTHES (I’m going to devote a header to this section)
Jeans are good. Denim is stiff and heavy, so it compresses your diaper. The conflict between the shading and the texture of the material throws the eye off. Darker is better, as is slightly uneven shading. The best cut is high-rise and boot cut - overly tight jeans will squeeze your diaper and reduce its absorbency the same way a hand reduces the absorbency of a sponge.
Black trousers are also good. Trousers tend to be a lot baggier and more forgiving in the crotch than jeans, and black means there’s no visual shadowing at the gradient from your legs to the soaker pad, and no sign in case of a leak.
Baggy fleece pants are bad. This is because the fleece is less stiff than denim, and the bagginess means your diaper isn’t compressed, so a gust of wind, or the pants moving the wrong way as you bend over, will give you a fairly clear diaper bulge.
Know your onesies. I have a lovely onesie which I don’t wear as much as I should because it’s tight and white - and therefore semi-transparent enough that it hides very little. It does a great jov of support, but no job of concealment. It’s mostly an undershirt - I still need another shirt over the top to feel subtle.
Don’t roll your diaper down to fit it under the waist of your pants. It’ll put pressure on the top tapes, making them more likely to come off - and the stretch of diaper backing above the top of the soaker pad is also meant to act as a seal, so if you’ve got a dick, you’re greatly increasing the risk that you will pee directly upward and out of the diaper. Do your diaper up at the proper height, pull your pants up as high as they will go, and if the diaper is above them, find some other way of covering it.
Pyjamas are especially tricky.
For pyjamas in any style, your choice of materials is more limited. Pyjamas in general tend to be thinner than day clothes - I submit the first fifty or so seconds of this video in evidence. Even though those are fairly thick as pyjamas go, they still quite visibly trace the leg holes of the wearer’s onesie and diaper, and accentuate the extra layer of diapering around the hips and waist. Pretty much the only material I’ve found that doesn’t show off too much in a standard cut is flannelette.
Boxers are useless. They cover the diaper, but if they’re high enough to cover the top edge, they’ll be tracing the butt and crotch exactly - on the one fairly generously cut pair I own, when they’re high enough to cover the top of the diaper, the bottom of it can be seen through the leg hole. They are useful for support - but useless for concealment.
Two-piece pyjamas are a generally doubtful proposition. This is because most kinds of diaper backing have less friction than your skin. I’ve woken up with my pyjama pants halfway off at the front and all the way off at the back - thankfully I was sleeping in my own bed. Get one-piece pyjamas if you can - and go baggy. I have one pair I wear at home which are overtly AB which are fairly snug, but the PJs I wear out are a tabby cat kigurumi - they’re a tad cutesy for 21-year-old masc me, but the ‘butt’ is around the mid-thighs.
Try to get black, but if you can’t, go as dark as you can and/or get stripes that run horizontally. Horizontal stripes are the pattern which is least distorted by diapers. Diagonal stripes are fine too. Vertical stripes, on the other hand, outline the diaper like a contour map.
If you’re wearing cloth diapers, just ignore all of the above. Unfortunately for you I have found no pyjamas under which cloth diapers are not 100% obvious.
Continuing with the pyjama theme, sleeping over at people’s places is a pretty good way to out yourself. I don’t do it much anymore for that exact reason - I don’t even crash on couches because I’m terrible at everything that has anything to do with diaper changes while drunk. There are some vanilla friends who know, but I’m keeping that number as low as possible.
Slightly related: if you’re uncomfortable peeing sitting down or in a reclining position, consider getting a mattress pad - even if you don’t need to protect your bed. Just knowing you’ll only leak through your pyjamas, instead of potentially onto sheets and an expensive, hard-to-replace mattress, is surprisingly freeing.
If you are intending to get into a position where you need to protect your bed, be warned: If it gets outside of a diaper, pee-related wetness is freezing. I don’t know why. I’ve spilt water on my bed in the same spot where my bed pad is now, under the same conditions, and it was practically tepid by comparison. Touching a patch you’ve wet or leaked on is like touching an ice cube.
Hygiene. Seriously, if you’ve come from a part of your life where you only shower once every couple of days, that time is now over. Keep yourself obsessively clean and fresh. Use scented body wash and shaving cream. As a diaper wearer, you are engaged in smell warfare with yourself. Suppress diaper-related smells and output as many other more pleasant smells as you can.
HARD STUFF AFTER THE CUT: discussion of messing and sexuality
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