My Name Is Bella

Tonight he forgets, rubbing his eyes as he sits down against the bed. All 287 lbs of him land against your fibula and fibula. You’re instantly kicking and screaming at him, “OFF! BRENDON OH MY GOD FUCK GET OFF!” You scream. He shoots off the bed in an instant, suddenly pumping with adrenaline as you writhe around in the bed, “oh my god”

Brendon stares at you, watching you clutch onto your leg as you wail out in pain, “shit baby, oh let me look at it”

He pries your hands off your lower leg, the force of his fingers against the bones make you cry harder, “stop! Stop!” You whack your pillow against his head, “BRENDON!”

“Fuck I just broke your leg” he breathes out, “come on baby ‘gonna take you to the hospital”

It hasn’t even been a full hour away from the hospital before he’s back, this time with his wife. His very- very angry wife, the two of you bickering against each other, “I can’t believe you sat on my leg and broke it”

Brendon groans, “why were you on my side of the bed?”

You cross your arms over your chest, “I was cold, you left in the middle of the night?” you face away from him. He knows it’s all bluff because you’re still tightly holding onto his hand.

“I know baby, I’m sorry. Is the morphine kicking in?” He asks, that draws you back to him. Hiccuping slightly as you nod, tears drying against your cheeks, “I’m really, really insanely sorry”

“Is it broken bad?” You ask, turning your head back to face him, “I haven’t wanted to look”

“Yeah baby, don’t look. It’s not pretty. They’re gonna probably operate on it in a minute”

You stare at him with scared eyes, “I hate anesthesia” you mumble. Brendon Park has known you for over a decade, he’s seen you scared, sad, angry, happy, but this is different. It’s primal discomfort; raw fear and emotion. Something he views every day, but it’s you. And he caused it.

“I know; but I’m gonna be right here. Promise”

Brendon park is an honest man, holding your hand as you’re wheeled into surgery, compliant as the nurses guide him to your room on his floor. And he holds your hand as you come too. Groggy and miserable. He holds your hand as you beg for a puke bag. Keeps your hair up as you throw up.

Disposes of it for you, “how do you feel?” He asks once you settle back against the pillows, “how’s the pain?”

You grunt at him, exhaling softly, “good?” You look over at your cast, “I didn’t get a fun color?”

Brendon exhales lightly, “no baby, once you’re out I’ll get you the prettiest pink out there okay?”

You smile, this soft smile that highlights how much you had been smiling through this days. Makeup creased into the lines of your cheeks, “I understand, you’re a surgeon. You want kids I assume?”

Brendon cuts into his steak, “that and, someone who’s waiting at home for me, not that I expect a woman- you’re very well educated you have a brilliant job. I don’t expect anyone to wait at home for me but- it’s nice waking up to a warm body. Having a reason to leave the hospital”

You nod, slowly biting a piece of the chicken. Humming in delight, “I understand. I get lonely too. I think I’ve redownloaded tinder, hinge, bumble about a thousand times”

That entices a snicker out of him, “honestly, I got it one night after a bad date from one of my coworkers. Figured no harm”

You nod, “so coworkers, you like them?”

Brendon shakes his head, “not at all, yours?”

You nod, “well, I work in government so I sorta have to say yes”

He pays for dinner, offers to walk with you around downtown Pittsburgh, holds your hand when you reach for it when you guide him somewhere, “you don’t come here a lot huh?” You ask, falling in quick steps beside him, your pinky still entwined with his, “to the downtown area?”

Brendon looks out, “usually after work I just want to get home, I used to go to the farmers market, but I guess I just stopped going”

You hum, “I try to go, usually when my nieces and nephews come for summer”

“You have nieces?”

You nod, “Leah and Noah. Twins. They’re nine. My sister and brother in law come out every summer. We rent a house in Bay Shore, by Philadelphia. Spend summer there” You explain, “they live in Wyoming, her husband is in rodeo”

Brendon nods, “dangerous job”

“Yeah. But I think they’re thinking of moving here. He recently broke his hip in two places so she’s been pushing for him to, y’know settle down”

Brendon wraps the whole of your hand in his, letting you balance on him as your walking slows, pace shifting as you try and find a better way to walk on your stilettos. When you saw how tall he was you’d figured no reason to not where heels; and were now regretting the choice of not wearing the smaller heels, “you alright?” Brendon pauses, as you shift slightly.

“Yeah, my feet are killing me. Im having too much fun with you though”

He smiles softly, “I can carry you back to your car?”

You think he’s joking at first, it’s why you scoff out a, “yeah, sure. Right”

But he does, effortlessly lifting you off your feet, legs kicked over his arm and back pressed into his forearm, “see? Where’d you park?”

Brendon Park makes it obvious he likes you more than as friends, because who else brings you flowers once a week during his day off. This towering bulky man carrying the most delicate peonies in his arms, “I got you peonies this time”

You look up, smile already creasing your lips as you push up from your desk, “these are beautiful Brendon… you really don’t have to do all of this y’know?”

He raises his eyebrow, “I do, I like doing it. I like that you know Im interested in you”

You raise onto your tip toes, kissing his cheek softly, leaving a slight mark of your red lipstick on his cheek, “thank you. I’ll call you tonight?”

He nods, leaning down to kiss you on your lips. Soft, and sweet. Like a promise of tomorrow, that he’ll probably see you tonight. And he’ll see you this weekend too.

It doesn’t take long before you’re actually dating officially, deleting dating apps, even if they’d been deleted the night after your first date. And then you’re spending the night at his house.

That big, empty house with rooms to fill. You’ve been together for six months when you ask about kids, “were. We’re in it for the long run right?” You ask, rubbing his chest softly to stir him back awake.

Brendon grumbles before turning his head to you, eyes closed but ears listening, “we’re getting married, not now. But yeah I want to marry you. Is that what you mean?”

“I meant like. I know we’re gonna get married. Pretty sure you said that on our first date” you toss your leg over his hip. Cuddling into his chest, “I meant like kids, do you want kids?”

“Yes. If you want them” He nods, rubbing between your shoulders, “what ring do you want, for your engagement ring”

Now it’s your turn to close your eyes and listen, “oh. Oval, I don’t really care what size, as long as it’s not like. Microscopic. Clean. Silver band; or white gold” you explain, “I can send you some pictures in the morning?”

“Sounds good, I think- your sister and I are going ring shopping, I know it’s supposed to be a surprise but. I want to make sure I get you something you like. That we’re on the same page”

He can feel you nod against him, yawn and stretch out slightly before rolling over. His silent signal you’re ready to be the little spoon, and he’s happy to oblige.

It’s how he ends up married a year after your first date, it’s a silent affair. Your family, his. Golf course in July.

Brendon scoffs slightly, “you’re ridiculous; my hands are masculine”

“They absolutely are, breakin bones every day, pushing your daughter on the swing, teaching her how to swim”

Brendon reaches over to you, pushing your hair out of your face, “you’re soft too y’know” he murmurs, “said motherhood never would suit you, said I’d find better”

You roll your eyes. Because what he’d said is true, when the topic of kids got brought up you’d said he’d be better off with a different woman. That there wasn’t much soft about you. And he’d changed your mind, patiently waiting, reminding you that he chose you, not something in the future. You. Now. Forever.

“I was wrong” you whisper, “I love being a mommy, I love being yours, I love the life we built”

Brendon pulls you closer, pressing kisses against your lips, cheeks and eyelids, only stopping when you pull away, “what?” He whispers.

“She’s up” you murmur, Brendon lifts his head up at that, and moments later a wide eyed toddler waddles into the master bedroom, “hi baby”

“Mama” She smiles, reaching her arms up in a signal that she wants up onto the bed. You pull her into the bed, letting her curl up in the middle of you and Brendon, “g’morn”

“Hi princess” you smile, she wiggles up against Brendon, pressing her entire body length against his chest, “oh you just want daddy huh?”

She grins as she sucks her thumb, “uh huh”

Brendon can only smile, “did you sleep good princess?”

Edith nods.

The morning continues like that, soft. Sweet. Feeding your three year old her pancakes, trying to wipe the syrup off her face, “you’re not on call until later right?” You ask Brendon, watching as he swallows his coffee.

“Yeah, until ten- so I’ll be home around eleven”

You nod, “was thinking of going to the farmers market”

By mid morning Brendon has Edith wrapped against his chest, ball cap pulled low as you wander through the vendors, picking up strawberries and pastries for the week.

His family is something Brendon rarely mentions, mostly because he likes the privacy. And because it’s relatively looked down upon that the woman he used to do knee reconstructions and acl and mcl surgery on is now his wife.

“Are you married?” Emma Nolan asks as she looks up from the charts, “today- was that you. The farmers market on fifth and ninth?”

Brendon nods, “yeah. Been together for about six years, had our daughter three years ago”

He doesn’t explain much, doesn’t feel the need to do more than confirm or deny.

When he comes home you’re curled in bed, on his side of the bed. You say it’s because it smells like him and you miss him in your sleep. He gently lifts you, easily placing you back to where you usually sleep, but you grunt a little. Eyes fluttering open, “you’re home” you whisper, “baby keeps” you wave your arm, “wiggling”

Brendon smiles, body soft and pliant as you curl back up to him, “night wifey”