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@di-loves-coffee
Hii people on my account, sorry I haven’t posted recently.
I’ve been in a really bad spot recently. Like the kind where if I was any worse I wouldn’t be here right now. And I’ve had a lot of shit happen on top of that which only made it worse.
I’m mostly recovering right now. I apologize for the lack of posts, but I hope you guys can understand.
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Red Robin: Anything?
Spoiler: No. We sure this guy's a vampire?
Red Robin: He has to be! All the signs point to it!
Red Hood: I can't believe I let you just pull me into this.
Robin: I concur.
Nightwing: Sorry Double R, but the only thing this man is guilty of is trying to turn his house into a Planetarium.
Danny: That's great. Can you all get out of my house now, please?
BatSibs: AHHH!
Nightwing: *grabs the nearest item, a skillet, and smacks Danny on the back of the head*
Danny: Ow! Freaking- Dude! Hitting some with a frying pan to knock them out only happens in movies?! You could seriously hurt someone like that! *muttering* Stupid kids and their stupid-
Nightwing, flinching: Sorry, I panicked.
Danny: Now, what did you brats break into my house for? Other than to criticize my interior decorating. *glares at Spoiler as he pulls a very rare shuttle from her hands and puts it back on the shelf* Look, don't touch.
Spoiler: *smiles innocently*
Red Robin: You see, after some observation, it was decided you were a suspicious individual and-
Robin: Are you a vampire? Do you consume blood? Are you currently a danger to society?
Danny: You're now my favorite, no talking in circles, I like you.
Robin: *smug*
Danny: In order; Yes, No, No.
Red Hood: *snorts* How can you be a vampire, and not drink blood? Isn't that a vampires whole thing?
Danny: *making eye contact, grabs an apple off his counter, and flashes his fangs at them before sinking his teeth into the apple and drinking. After a short wait, he pulls his fangs out and throws the apple at Red Hood*
Red Hood: Woah. *crushes the apple in his hand, and it turns to dust* Cool!
Danny: I'm a Fruit Vampire, fruit sustains me, thats why I'm renovating some of my yard in to an orchard, so I can grow my own food. Also planting some berries in the green house.
Red Robin: So you aren't renovating this mansion so you can hold humans to be your eternal buffet?
Red Hood: Jeasus, Red Robin
Danny, unamused: Okay, well, if you're done profiling me-
Red Robin: *sputters*
Danny: -can you all please leave? I have to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow to make sure I don't have a concussion, thanks for that by the way, and my sister, and friends are coming over to help with the last of the unpacking, and I really don't want to have to bring out Cujo to get you all out.
Red Hood: Cujo? What, he a Hellhound or Cerberus or something?
Robin: *perks up*
Danny: Actually, he's a Cù-sìth, and a trained gaurd dog. *casually pulls out a picture of 'big' Cujo, and grins when they all pale* 5.......4.........3......*howling sounds in the distance*
Nightwing: Scatter!
BatSibs: *all bolt towards the nearest window*
Danny, snorts: Morons. I need to get better security, maybe I should get an additional dog, Hellhound doesn't sound too bad.
Cujo: *hops out a portal, 'small' form*
Danny, baby voice: Yeah, how does that sound? Get you a friend to cover your shifts for when you want to travel and look around?
Cujo: *running in circles, yapping excitedly*
AAA I LOVE THE IDEA OF FRUITBAT VAMPIRES!!!!
Some occult group thinks the Fenton portal is a great option for summoning Hades. Hades is lord of the underworld and Phantom is king of the restless dead, which would normally make them equals. Except Danny has home field advantage (deathplace/grave/lifetime focal location. He was probably born there too, given his parents). Wonder Woman was working with JL Dark to stop the cult from summoning Hades only to see him get curb-stomped by a tiny teenager, who is also apparently a death god.
the concept of just a tiny Danny kicking an ancient god's ass is incredible
Okay but listen listen listen
They don’t summon Disney Hades
They don’t summon DC Hades
They don’t summon any modern media Hades
These fucks summon Actual Original Greek Myth Hades, who:
- does not give a fuck about killing people, everyone comes to him he can wait
- is about as destructive as a sleeping kitten
- barely fucking pays attention offerings were mostly to HIS WIFE and HER MOM to get favour from him
- is also the god of wealth, volcanoes, and diamonds
Hades pops through this portal in full “what the fuck where am I where did everybody go” to see a room full of cultists in pitched battle with superheroes, and also Danny, who is another death god
There are two options from here:
1) Hades spots Danny, locks in on him as “ah yes an adult I shall ask him wtf is going on” and is utterly befuddled when Danny kicks his ass but assumes it’s a challenge or something and fights back
2) Hades gives a version of “wrong number, sorry” and dips
Maybe the League freak out because Where Did He Go What Is He Doing The God Of Death Is Loose
And Diana has to explain to them (yet again) that Hades is not Satan, he’s gone fucking home because Zeus THOUGHT he gave Hades the shitty kingdom…
But he fucking gave him the one with all the wealth of the universe, and all Hades has to do is chill the fuck out and wait because even the gods will come to him in time
There is a reason you only really see him in myths as a passive observer someone else wants something from, with the sole exception of Persephone
He’s like the one guy who did not get Ouranos’ Dramatic Bitch Genes (even Persephone’s story was fucking tame as far as the Greeks go, he grabbed her, pulled her down, and offered her a snack, no animal transformations or shit)
Hell, if Persephone’s in the story she’s usually the one making the final call (holla Orpheus) Hades deadass is not an active guy
He doesn’t have to be
He’s a whale shark just vibing along and occasionally someone grabs his fin
(He would however be very grateful if Danny or Diana could spread the word and stop people from trying to summon him for destruction it’s embarrassing and Zeus gets pissy they didn’t text him
Mr Lightning Bolt would like to be considered)
Anyway sorry it’s just that the constant monotheistic lenses on polytheistic religions gets on my tits and it’s also funnier if Danny thinks he’s fighting to the death against a very confused upper level manager
Danny: I WON’T LET YOU DESTROY THE WORLD *big dramatic attack*
Hades: you what in my what in the where????
I’d like to suggest the following
Danny: *attacking Hades*
Hades, internally: this is your chance.
Hades, to Danny: hey this is fun, but I’m getting kinda tired do you want to come home with me and we can have lunch with my wife?
Danny: ,,,,,,,what?
Hades, trying to adopt a kid: yeah. Lunch.
Diana:
Diana: I can’t fucking believe my eyes
Diana: so I’m closing them
HADES ADOPTS DANNY NEW DP X DC AU ACCEPTED
The cultists fucking stop fighting in disgust
fic when?????
You know this would be a perfect setup for a dpxdcxpj crossover
Y'all know the DP fanon of Grampa Clockwork and also Clockwork is Kronos, or is a facet of Kronos, or Kronos is a facet of him.
Basically, Big Brother Hades just like "Finally, a little brother who isn't a self-important prick."
Danny, Hades' recently surprise adopted brother: "Hey you wanna hang out or somthing?"
Hades, internally: Ugh he probably wants to go steal some cows or take me out on the town as a literally wingman (swan) or something...
Hades: "...What did you have in mind...."
Danny: "I don't know maybe some video games or something. Have you ever played Doomed?"
Hades, sobbing: "Finally someone else in this family who is fucking SANE."
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!
—-
Danny: man, my home is crazy, let me go visit my family.
Jazz: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GO TO VLAD’S
Danny: the fuck? No, I’m going to hang out with Hades
Jazz: HADES??!!
Omg I have things to avoid again, I might get back into writing
Hitting the Jeremy during ur bosses important meetings
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a little bit embarrassed to post this bcs thirsting on this loser feels so lame
How dare you say this, I love that loser.
"nobody's disregarding canon more than batman fans" well. I hear you. You're not wrong exactly
However
There are dc writers. Some of which I'm not inclined to describe as "fans" of anything they're writing. They sure count for something
It’s like watching a cia cover-up in action
I wanna put a cigarette out on a dude’s neck while he looks up at me in devotion.
I need to completely own someone in a way where my every word is nearly divine to them.
I want to be able to pull someone’s hair and have them thank me for it.
Or you know… just have them tell me in explicit detail how much I matter to them and how my mere presence affects them.
Yesss baby, look at me with those big beautiful eyes.
A ship idea I thought of while reading the Project Hail Mary book that I’m not even sure is in the movie. But Dimitri/Grace.
I think they’d be so cute together.
They have such good chemistry!!! I LOVE Dimitri, both as a person in general but also because he's such a good friend for Grace. This ship would work so well.
I don’t know if they look different in the movie rather than the book— I never got to see the movie unfortunately.
But I feel like they’d definitely match eachother’s freak hard
Dimitri isn't in the movie unfortunately!! There is a guy who seems pretty solid and explains spin drives, but he doesn't really get much screen time.
NOOO I WISH HE WASSS
A ship idea I thought of while reading the Project Hail Mary book that I’m not even sure is in the movie. But Dimitri/Grace.
I think they’d be so cute together.
They have such good chemistry!!! I LOVE Dimitri, both as a person in general but also because he's such a good friend for Grace. This ship would work so well.
I don’t know if they look different in the movie rather than the book— I never got to see the movie unfortunately.
But I feel like they’d definitely match eachother’s freak hard
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A ship idea I thought of while reading the Project Hail Mary book that I’m not even sure is in the movie. But Dimitri/Grace.
I think they’d be so cute together.
So I was so upset that I didn’t get the chance to watch Project Hail Mary in theaters [and now can’t watch it on streaming because I don’t really have the money to rent/buy it] that I got the book.
I’m on page 31, I love the way it’s written, my only notes are that the pages are thin.
So update, I’m a third of the way through— page 150. I LOVE ITTT
Write the project hail Mary au
So many different ways to write it tho I’m conflicted
The Carlgrace au where Jason is the bodyguard for Dr Danny Fenton
The Strattland au where Danny Fenton has to force Mechanic/Engineer Jason Todd onto the Hail Mary - Or Jason Todd has to force Scientist Danny Fenton onto the Hail Mary
The Grocky au where Ghost Zone is its own planet and Danny is a scientist with his crew dead for a century when another ship shows up with an Engineer named Todd
The Bloodymary au where Dr Danny Fenton pulls Convict Jason from the depths of a blood ocean
AAAA I LOVE THEM ALL!!
My favorites are definitely the CarlGrace au, the Grocky au, and the Bloodymary au!!
So I was so upset that I didn’t get the chance to watch Project Hail Mary in theaters [and now can’t watch it on streaming because I don’t really have the money to rent/buy it] that I got the book.
I’m on page 31, I love the way it’s written, my only notes are that the pages are thin.
Obligatory shop owner Dead On Main
Danny owns a coffee shop, Jason owns a cake shop.
Danny sources the cake slices he sells from Jason.
They met fully by accident.
Flirting ensues, food is shared, they fall in love.
Amaze amaze amaze
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I feel like such a fraud with my last Danny in Gotham post going [what I consider at least] viral,
I’m sorry I’ve tricked you all into thinking I’m cool, I just like the little guys and haven’t posted in over five months until now
Do you guys think fertility is something only rich vampires have?
Like assuming that vampires function like a blood-sucking parasite. And since blood is basically the only reason we go through anything in our body.
Would a vampire have their period if they were regularly eating?
