Some fun paintings

Fascination with one person`s art got me so full of emotions that i had to put them somewhere.

You can guess who the person is by looking at the names of the paintings, but i`m not gonna mention)

It`s interesting to understand how your mind works how art gets there, and what comes out, if you let it.

So, here are some paintings i made, i like them, even love, but im not going to keep them forever neither am i interested to sell. The future of those paintings: be a gift to someone or burn.

I was thinking about ghosts a lot. There is a musician, he is dead and famous. And it feels like he is haunting me all my life. I thought at first that i like him, his art, but i don't, not really, he is just haunts me and to be honest, my whole generation. But i also love ghosts. When i was little my idea of death was when someone get old - they become more of a voice from shadows - then disappear. As i got older the idea of death became more complex, but because of that initial feeling in some ways i stay connected to a lot of dear to me and dead people. Most of my ghosts are friendly, they just there because you loved them, so they are just there to give you love back. Some are stuck, but you just need to find something alive about them, like people they loved or art they left and they haunt you less. There is also your family, your line, figures from the past, but they don't usually do much. Whole world is full of ghosts, some you don't even realize are there, but as soon as you acknowledge them you see them. I do like ghost, but sometimes i do feel a little bit ha-ha-haunted)

Now about the process i was sitting in my green pants and green sweatshirt on my green sheets and thought that i want to paint with green

So i began, also used some white plaster and then started to paint shadows with green pastel.

And they were shiiiit, i hated the result so much i wanted to throw it from my balcony, so i went to sleep, after i showered the canvas.

The realisation was - i needed to incorporate my shadows into already existing green parts, plus not to try and make to many details inside the figures.

Well, this one does not exists) I had a great idea, about some tile, the decaying flesh, thinking about the "Annihilation" and all the dying but actually transforming into something else.

And....I hated the result, decided to add more "flesh"

Hated it even more) It was empty, so I ripped the orange peels off (actually proud of myself for using them like that), and then i read some news, got really angry and sad...and made this painting for my friend, and also wrote him a letter.

Needed red, also words, for a change, maybe a little bit of a simpsons (Bart writing on a chalkboard) and texture, always.

Well rage is important, I think, and can be useful, yet we always try and suppress it.

At this point i just make paintings, its a normal thing to do.

So I found some inspiration in the bones with flowers growing from them.

Its a beautiful metaphor for making art out of the darkest parts of you and before i knew it bones became knives and structure became spine.

I like the idea of it not being the bones themselves but more of a scan-like quality, the imprint.

Since it was coming out referencing the album cover I wanted to add some color.

Color became flowers and since this medium for me is something freeing and child-like so are the flowers.

I love how this painting turned out and the coincidence of it coming out of me on the eve of a birthday of my inspiration (it was may)

But also on the picture I saw the ugly transition of colors in the right bottom conor and decided to put more flowers and then some moss.

I really wanted to paint something cold, froze even. Just make the texture of frozen water with paint.

I have no idea how to make something like that, so i tried) It was an interesting experience, but then i fucked up the the eyes from the void)

Well, fucking up is part of the process, maybe it will be easier to burn this one, at least.

I wanted to make something creepy and bloody, but i was listening to one album too much. And looking at this album cover in much details. This song sounds to me like something infected, with a lot of layers, almost alive, but kinda not (mechanical).

I had some weird kinda gift wrapping papper, and really wanted to have a lot of texture on this canvas, and for something to kinda crawl out of the frame. (a lot of kinda, but it`s kinda how it all works)

The beautiful mess that I made inspired me to make it more infectious and not bloody, because "tainted touch of my caress" and "trail of honey", and "seeds from lovers".

It came out looking fucking disgusting and beautiful at the same time. I love it so much, looks very touchable.

Close ups)

And full frontal)

The number one. The first. The one that started it all. I fucking love this song, it`s sooo beautiful, and sad, and unique.

I wanted it to have distinct lines of color, at first. But then i decided to make it a pure experiment, there is ash on it, there is also some vax, i tried to burn the canvas, turns out canvases do not burn, fascinating stuff.

Even though my inspiration for drawing came from one person`s art, i am not THAT single minded, there is a lot of inspirational art around (thankfully).

"I wanted to paint nothing. I was looking for something that was the essence of nothing, and the soup can was it." - said the man.

Turns out for me 'nothing' is a banana, pink - that is inside on the album cover, on the outside, and a big banana, with some kind of halo, on that pretty pink background.

Honestly, i can not tell you more, it just makes sense for me, and well "take the skin and peel it back, now doesn`t it make you feel better?"

And as my hatred grew, i was looking for anything and everything in my house that would inspire me, that would make this piece make sense.

I found some old coloring paint, it was kinda (my)skin color and i slathered it all over the canvas. As it dried it started to crumble and became so, so beautiful, with all the texture and imperfections.

Then i decided that skin needs to bleed or be scarred. Naturally, i threw knives at it, that felt amazing, and so, sooo right.

After being so cruel i decided to put it all together, i sewed it all back together, but i wasn`t interested in it looking like nothing happened

I looked at it and heard "I`m not queer I`m disembodied" and that made so much sense. The scarred skin outside, the ocean inside, like water does not need a vessel, but will appear in a form of anything you put it in, neither do we (but we have one, for some time)

I happily drew couple of canvases before i got stuck. I wanted to draw more, but somehow couldn`t. But there was this fucking spiral stuck in my head, so i decided to make it. The background turned out beautiful, and spiral, well it got there. But as time went by I felt my hatred grow all the more extreme...