The Deviant Docent

It was almost a "Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Dried Iced Tea Drops" morning until I realized that The Queen of the Night must have been dipping her paw into the glass I left on the counter overnight. Patiently, I tried to explain that, while, yes, she IS The Queen, we live in a constitutional monarchy and the Commons have a long-standing policy of restricting the monarch to the House of Lords, located somewhere more floorish. Summoning her most imperious look, she told me that, in her day, such impertinence would be met with strict retribution and, as we are on the third floor, defenestration would be her penalty of choice. I pointed out that her day was, like, two minutes ago and that if she persisted in resisting the will of the people she would find herself without any canned salmon for a week. Complying with my request, she walked away haughtily, muttering something about, "Bitches get windows," before sitting down on the dining room carpet to lick her twat while I Google "Queen Training for Dummies". #cat #catsofinstagram #queenofthenight #lareinadelanoche #deviantdocent https://www.instagram.com/p/CQgZXgij3Yc/?utm_medium=tumblr

Today in The Adventures of La Reina de la Noche: Her foster family assured me that La Reina NEVER hopped onto kitchen counters. When I told her this, she just threw her dainty head back and gave me a smile somewhere between Rita Hayworth in "Gilda" and Ursula the Sea Witch. Then she leaped over to the sink and chirped, "¡Agua! ¡Ahora, Puta!" So, all in all, I think things are going rather well. #catsofinstagram #cat #queenofthenight #lareinadelanoche https://www.instagram.com/p/CQd1_fKjt2-/?utm_medium=tumblr