savior complex.

𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧 with a small flick of her hand. “oh don’t worry, it’s completely legitimate. she asked me to do some content around the city. you know, lifestyle stuff.” her lips curved, just a little. “don’t you think i’d be good at that?” she asked, brows lifting, something almost hopeful in her expression. she liked that dev didn’t immediately challenge her or start picking apart the seams of what she was saying. he just let her talk and be fine. fine was something she practiced, something she decided on, over and over again until it stuck. but then he stepped forward and put both arms around her, the way he used to when she was small. it caught her off guard in the worst, most precise way. and suddenly she was nine again, standing in the dark hallway after an anxiety-induced nightmare, padding into his room because she knew he’d undertand. except this time the nightmare was real. she exhaled a little breath, eyes so blurry that she knew a blink would spill something. “it was really scary, dev.” her voice came out smaller than she meant it to. she pulled back just enough to look at him. “i kept trying to look for people, but i couldn’t tell who was who. i couldn’t breathe and my eyes were burning. and then something hit me in the head from above. and i just—” the memory was vivid behind her eyes. “i didn’t know where to go. if romeo hadn’t gotten me out, i don’t know if i would’ve gotten out at all. i panicked. i fucking froze.” it was nothing like the fire drills from childhood, single-file lines and a teacher counting heads. “i thought i was going to die.” selin hadn’t admitted that to anyone. “and i kept thinking about you and lu and zeina. and mom. i kept thinking about which one of you would have to call her and tell her i died.” no sooner had a tear escaped, selin shakily wiped it with her hand. “and, like, what you guys would dress me in for the funeral. like, would it even be cute?” she wailed. “is that bad? god, i’m so vain.” she started pacing, the way she always did when a spiral was coming on. “if i died, i’d probably have gone to hell, dev. i’ve done, like, bad things. things you don’t know about. all the mistakes of my life were, like, flooding into my brain.”

"Lifestyle stuff." Dev repeated, his face perhaps not the ideal picture of unwavering support, but in his defense he was taking in a lot of anxiety-inducing information at once. Namely; his little sister working under the woman he was adamant about not having a relationship with, her taking a position that sounded like it was on-camera, thrusting her into the public eye -- the implications of which were potentially concerning. Regardless, Dev's soft spot for Selin typically barraged through his thick, steel wall off stubbornness, and so he simply let a small sigh fall from his lips and nodded. "Of course I do -- you're the most outgoing and photogenic out of all of us. I think it's a really great opportunity." And he meant it, really, even despite the reservations that hammered away in his head.

It's hard to know for certain what is important now. Once your worst fears are realized, once you are uncertain whether this is the end or the beginning... Well, does anything else signify? Amelia feels the split-second of surprise in Dev's body, feels the goosebumps rise at her touch. But all the same, they fall together. It's like that often, isn't it? Always some resistance, between Dev's stubbornness and Amelia's independence, before they let it all the way in. "You better not be saying that just to make me feel better." Amelia mutters into his arms, feeling the palpitations of his heart against her chest. She realizes now; Dev isn't here because Amelia sent a late night 'you up?' text. He's here because of Lottie. Which can only mean that his compromises run just as deep as hers, if not more.

"A good majority of my time with patients is spent talking about bruising and scars; I know what I'm talking about." Not exactly an answer to her question, but she didn't need all the if, ands, or buts right then and there as far as her healing process went. "I'll write you a referral." Eyes scanned her face, darting over swollen skin, flecks of matted blood in her brow, black and blue discoloration -- yet what he lingers on isn't the physical marks, but the look she gave him. As if she was waiting for him to run, as if she was afraid he would run, or scoff and judge at her less-than-ideal circumstances. For so much of his adult life had Dev been involved with criminals, organizations big and small, had even watched his brother climbed the ranks until he'd eventually fallen off somehow, somewhere, so perhaps the thought of Amelia also having some affiliation was not as much of a shock as it aught to be. Perhaps it made him feel a bit more normal, less like a fraud, a monster, like the connection to them had only strengthened. Of course he had questions -- many he surely wouldn't like the answers to (he never did) -- but that's not what she needed now. That's not what either of them needed.

"Oh, like you Americans are so hard to figure out?" He knew what Santiago meant-- the dynamics, the ins and outs of the different criminal organizations throughout the city-- but chose to go off on his own tangent anyway. "It's not like you all are good at keeping your mouths shut -- unless you're plowing through a Happy Meal. You allow your Wal-Marts to sell guns in many states, not exactly discreet." Even with the flippancy, he was coming to like this country quite a bit, even with all the chaos he'd experienced since then. He'd always had a fondness for the states, for their music, their movies and tv shows, and while there was a lot of aspects that defied expectations, he considered the move a net positive. For now, at least. "Do you notice any neck or shoulder tightness when that happens? Any tension in your jaw?" Dev guessed that stress was most likely the culprit, or from if he was bracing himself too much from the pain. "Well, apparently it's not working if you're still having pain." He mumbled, brows narrowing. "That's not how this works. If you want any of the numbness and the pain to go away, then you need to wear the goddamn splint -- it's not a full on cast, it's a splint. You can make up any excuse as to why you have it on if people question you, that's not my problem. My problem is getting you back to at least eighty-percent so I don't have to see you or your freaky brother ever again." He let go of Santiago's hand, slipping off his gloves. "So, essentially, your future brother in law." Okay, now he was a little bit interested. "Which -- he's still your future brother-in-law after that?" And he thought his family was dysfunctional.

The firm reaction she got from her brother only served as a reminder of why she generally avoided meddling in her siblings' personal lives. It seemed as though she'd touched a nerve and while it could be that there was more going on than simply him wanting to keep his dating life private, her intention had been to lighten things up not send him into a spiral. "Forget I said anything then." Said swiftly when she wanted to move away from conflict as quickly as possible. Still, as much as she tried not to take it personally the words stung but likely wouldn't have smarted quite as much as it did if there hadn't been tension between her and Luna too. The words between them still lingering. "She's fine, I made sure she got imaging. There was nothing to worry about, she just needs to take it easy for a few days." Though they both knew that that was unlikely from the youngest Agha. They were lucky it was just a concussion though, keenly aware of the fact that Selin could have found herself trapped in that fire and guilt settled in Zeina's chest all over again. Between that and the bomb scare she was wondering if the two siblings she'd convinced to join her in New York held any resentment for how their lives were turning out the way it seemed their sister did. "Do you regret coming here?" Question soft, as if she was afraid to ask it.

Dev let out a heavy sigh, knowing his tone had probably hurt her feelings more than she'd ever let him in on. He knew her well enough by now; knew how much she could unravel beneath the surface, how her way of dealing with it was by holding it all in. They all did to some degree, but while he and Luna chose anger and Selin chose positivity, Zeina chose quiet. Besides, he knew she already had a lot on her mind with the Pierre of it all, he didn't need to add to it. He slowed his pace to a stop, a hand reaching out for her to follow suit. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to snap at you, I just --" The surgeon looked away momentarily, rolling his eyes at himself, " -- I have a lot on my mind. And I'm still not used to us all being together again, y'know? I forgot what it was like to have all of my nosy sisters all in one place." Corners of his lips turned up a bit, a bit more fondness attributed to his tone to hopefully put her at ease before they resumed down the block. He couldn't help but snort though at the mention of Selin taking it easy. "Big ask. Apparently Amelia offered her a job -- did she tell you?" Not that he wanted to expand on the topic of his situationship, but he figured after his behavior moments earlier he owed her a bit more openness. And, besides, he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it all; the fact that Amelia had recruited her or that Selin would be working in media. He figured he could use her input. Brows knit together in response to Zeina's next question, head turned to look at her fully. "What do you mean? Where's this coming from?"

Another eyeroll. "I understand a lot more than you might think I do." Perhaps not in the specifics -- who he was dealing with and what organization they belonged to, but Dev had been entrenched in the criminal underworld for most of his professional life. Sure, this was an entirely new country with different stakes, and this time around he wasn't tethered to one particular gang (not by choice, at least), but it was far more familiar of a practice than he'd like to admit. Hence why he didn't even flinch when the large gash was revealed, a rather gruesome sight even with some of the skin having healed over already. "You're taking that high of a dose and it's not helping all the time?" Dev questioned, taking his hand before lightly applying pressure to the areas around the gash, eyes flickering up every second or so to see how the other male reacted. "I'd like to start you on Gabepentin, pairing it with some lidocaine patches for any short term pain. But you need to get off the other shit -- or at least lower your dosage significantly. And we'll get you in a splint." Brows knit together in confusion. "Wait, your sister's boyfriend and your brothers boss both stabbed you?" Obviously not realizing they were the same person. "What'd you do to deserve that? Not chew with your mouth closed?"

Normally, Lottie would have done this way before ever calling anyone. Her entire job was literally confidentiality, she knew how to make that happen as effortlessly as anyone could even think of. Even if it seemed the opposite of a priority, she was looking out for Amelia more than anyone else right now as she stopped Dev from entering the shoebox that, her sister apparently, called a home. "She's stable, but we both need you to sign this, okay? I'll explain later." She had yet to figure out exactly what that would entail, but she had more important matters to handle than appeasing a doctor. She had to meet Romeo and find a place for Amelia to stay at. "Just sign it. And then make sure that she's okay and let me know if you need anything that isn't in your first aid kit, I'll find it."

Lips parted, glancing to the door she stood firm in front of before his eyes returned to her. "We?" So many questions raced through his mind; the secrecy of it all, their relationship to one another, the urgency of it all -- but his concern for Amelia was greater than any thoughts or assumptions pushing their way to the forefront. Thus, a reluctant nod was given. "Fine. Pen?" He wasn't intending to be short with Lottie -- after all, he was grateful in a sense that he'd been called in the first place -- but when he was scared or anxious, it typically manifested as frustration. "I'll let you know."

"You too." The answer that decency required but then he figure that maybe it was more true than usual. Anyone who respected someone else's desire to their own space and quiet was above most of the population in his eyes. "I will." Though in truth he'd just as soon use his own plentiful savings when it would reduce the amount of people who'd have to be involved. Knowing his luck someone would take it upon themselves to turn the fundraising into a bonding for the residents and he didn't want to have to move to restore his privacy because everyone became overly familiar. He huffed slightly at the comment on the painting, not quite a laugh but still dry amusement. "You can't buy taste. Unless it's one of us picking we'd be doomed to another lifeless piece. Just a more expensive one." And not all good art had to come along with a hefty price tag, there were plenty new artists who were more talented than those who had managed to make it big. "Greek, probably." Though he knew that his mother's influence had also played a role in the way that he spoke, Spanish is first language much to his father's and uncles' chagrin. "Moved over when I was a kid."

Dev couldn't help the short laugh that fell from his lips. "You have way too much faith in my taste in art, my friend. For all you know my apartment is covered in nothing but millennial grey minimalism," a pause, quickly adding, "not that there's anything wrong with that if that's what you're --y'know-- into." He certainly was not. Dev wouldn't consider himself any type of art connoisseur, but it was something he enjoyed. For a man who didn't really like going out, preferring to keep to himself and not venture out much beyond coming and going from work each day, he did tend to venture out to the museums at least once a week (never during peak hours). "Ah, yes, that's it," he nodded, a grin tugging at his cheeks. "Neighbors in more way than one -- I came here from Istanbul a few months ago." Small world, he supposed. Another flight of stairs completed, and Dev let out a heavy breath, knowing how much further they had to go. "As a kid you said? And you've lived in New York all this time?"

There's a fundamental resistance when Dev first closes the space between them. That split-second, instinctive need to save face. To prove you aren't as broken as evidence suggests. She's sure he sees it - how many times had she caught him out, doing the exact same thing? But like many times before, that defense is forgone, and his touch ins the anchor that allows her shoulders to slump and a haggard, sad laugh to escape her. "He wanted to finish what he never got to started at the masquerade." Dev knows; he's seen the scars that never healed properly, met the imposing man with the shit teeth (his words, not hers).

" -- your father?" The realization swept over him the moment she mentioned the masquerade, flashing back to the man in the mask who's presence alone had completely disarmed her, remembering the way she collapsed as a flood of terror washed through. And now? That terror seemingly realized, the dried blood and bruises adding to the white scars that marred her skin -- yet still, when he mentioned her nose the first thing that she came out with was concern for her work. "That's not important right now." Perhaps callous of him to say given how important her career was to her, but it was meant to be assuring. Hand fell from her chin, reaching towards his medical bag so he could do a more proper examination of her nose. "Here, let me --" Only he didn't get a chance to grab anything with how she fell into him then, the sudden contact of cool fingers against his skin sending a chill up his spine. Dev swallowed thickly, wrapping his arms around her then.

𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐝, 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥, theatrical eye roll even though she understood exactly where he was coming from. “yes, dev, i wouldn’t be walking around right now if zeina hadn’t checked me out. i live with her. there was no leaving the house until she made sure i didn’t have anything else going on.” zeina had also told her to take it easy for the next week, yet here selin was. still, she justified it easily. she was just visiting her brother, not exactly out partying. she watched him relocate her purse to its proper place, noting the twitch in his jaw. her brother had always been this way, while she was the tornado that swept through his carefully arranged life without warning. “i’m not saying i expect you two to get married and ride off into the sunset,” she said. “i’m just saying she’s a quality person. very impressive. and she kinda, sorta offered me a job. so fall in love with her or don’t, your prerogative. just…don’t break her heart.” she pointed at him for emphasis before softening almost immediately, the edge dissolving as quickly as it came. dev wouldn’t hurt someone on purpose. he was a good guy. “i mean, what is there to even talk about?” she added with a small shrug, brushing it off still. “my life’s going really well right now. i’m not about to slow down and mess it up just because i hit my head. anyway,” she attempted to pivot. “have you talked to luna? i know she was working the hospital. hope she didn’t have to deal with too much…gore. we should do a family dinner again soon. decompress. you know i actually baked something recently? i didn’t burn down the kitchen, and the guy who ate it is still alive. so i could be in charge of dessert.”

Well, he couldn't argue with that. He trusted Zeina to know what was best when it came to anything neurological, but that didn't mean he didn't still worry. Didn't still go over all the 'what-ifs' in his head, though that wasn't unusual for him by any means; intrusive thoughts were just another fun part of his diagnosis. He let out an audible exhale, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall opposite his sister as she continued on about Amelia. His brows knit together at the mention of a job offer. "What?" That was news to him. "What do you mean she offered you a job? Doing what?" Dev wasn't sure if he should be bothered or not by the notion of Selin being recruited by the woman he was sleeping with, especially considering he was only hearing about it for the first time now. Not that he had any say in what either of them did, but -- considering what a work horse Amelia was, how cutthroat the news industry here in America apparently was, it just added another worry to the list of ones he kept in his pocket for his little sister. "Selin --" An attempt was made to interject, to insist that there was no way she was truly alright, that this far more traumatic than her just hitting her head, but she kept going on like she did. Overcompensating for the unpleasant feelings that were stirring within her, desperate to make them go away by sheer willpower and determination along. It was a tactic Dev himself used often, though it typically fell behind a more disgruntled demeanor, perhaps a means to push people away so they couldn't see the conflict inside of him. But Selin -- she attempted to push through with positivity, with sweetness and excitement. He envied her for it, yet it broke his heart to watch all the same. So, he stayed quiet, offering a quick nod here and there as she rambled on. It was only once she finished Dev stepped forward, arms extended as he pulled her into a hug -- something he offered rather infrequently. "I'm really glad you're okay."

CLOSED FOR: @devagha

Alarm bells had sounded in his head the moment Lottie texted him, the contents of the message rather bare yet concerning considering the casual nature of their friendship, his career merely a footnote in all of it between rounds of racquetball and servings of smoothies. But concern, shock really spiked the moment the address came through -- one that had been referenced constantly over the past few months, one that had become entirely familiar to him. One that he knew was inhabited by none other than Amelia Dreyer.

@devagha | Dev and Amelia, Amelia's Apartment

He stood in the doorway, simply staring for a moment as he took in the sight of her. Bruised, battered, yet even in this state she couldn't allow that staunch pride of hers to waver -- it was a thought that had the corners of his lips curling briefly when she first spoke. "No, you're not." He affirmed, though he knew she didn't really need it. One thing about Amelia Dreyer that he'd learned after all of these months was that her own opinion of a moment, a situation, herself, carried far more weight than anyone else's could. For better or for worse. Medical bag slid from his shoulder, eyes never leaving hers as he approached, seating himself on the edge of the bed.

with Dev Agha @devagha

"Met who?" It took Devrim a moment to understand what his younger sister was getting at, unable to help the eyeroll that followed once it dawned on him. "Oh. Well, not because I wanted them to. And -- there is no her, Z, so don't let them try to tell you otherwise." Harsh words weren't normally reserved for Zeina, being the most levelheaded out of the rest of their siblings, but he was already on edge. Between everything with the masquerade, being blackmailed for medical care, Amelia's situation with her father, now the fires that'd nearly taken out Selin only days before, he wasn't exactly feeling great. So, while he could appreciate Zeina trying to connect, get him outside his head, it was easier said than done. Hands shoved into his pockets, meeting her gaze briefly with softened brows. "I had a good time, then I had a shit time, and she happened to be with me while that happened. It's really not a big deal, Zeina." A pause. "Have you had a chance to check on Selin? I don't like that the hospital discharged her so soon."

One of the many side effects of his stoicism that he considered to be a perk was the fact that he rarely took other people's reactions personally. So although a brow had raised that the other man's first excuse he'd made no effort to argue with it. But then the real explanation came and he just nodded, simple acceptance when it would have hardly been fair of him to aim anything else at a man who was practically a stranger. "Alright." The name he gave though did spark more interest. It along with the Turkish and the revelation that he was something of a germaphobe was beginning to tick boxes of recognition in his brain. But he didn't voice his growing theory that the man was related to his girlfriend, instead introducing himself. "Vic." The fact that it had taken them this long to exchange names only endeared his neighbour to him more. "I've been tempted to find someone to fix it myself." An offer of conversation as they started up the stairs. "Fairly sure whoever they keep getting is only patching it up enough for the pay check." There was no judgement in his tone, not when his own money hadn't exactly come from honest means.

Dev didn't consider himself an unfriendly person -- perhaps not the most social, but h e was good at turning it 'on' when it counted; with patients, new friends, potential dates or lovers. It wasn't that he didn't want to get to know his neighbors, more so that he considered his home his sanctuary. The one place that was reserved only for him, his safe space. Unfortunately, NYC real estate wasn't exactly known for it's private dwellings, so apartment living for his situation would have to do. Thankfully, the one neighbor he saw often -- Vic, as he just introduced himself -- seemed to have a similar frame of mind. Or, well, at least valued his privacy, something Dev could respect. "Nice to, uh, formally meet you." He greeted, relieved that he didn't seem to be completely turned off by his peculiarities. "Let me know if you do, I'll donate to the cause. Could even start a -- what is it called -- a GoFundMe. Use the extra to get a new painting in the lobby that isn't an eyesore." He chuckled, following the other male's lead and heading up the stairs. "I wouldn't be shocked. Easy money, right?" Dev shrugged one of the bags up his shoulder, leaning over the railing for a moment to look up at all the floors they still had to go. "Can I ask -- you have a bit of an accent, it's a bit familiar to me, but I can't place it in English."

who: @devagha where: his place

"A concussion is not fine in my book, Selin. It's literally your brain rattling inside your skull -- have you let Zeina check you out? I still think they shouldn't have released you so soon." A hand was dragged across his face, the other planted firmly on his hip as if he was attempting to pull back, to ground the anxiety creeping up his chest. The past few weeks had been an absolute whirlwind between the masquerade, everything with Amelia and her father, and now this; fires set all over the city, his little sister collateral damage to no fault of her own. All of that on top of having 'guests' in his home at that moment, not one to enjoy disruptions of his space no matter how much he liked them -- well. Safe to say Dev was on edge. And the probing into his personal life wasn't exactly helping things. "Selin." A low huff fell from his lips, picking up the bag as soon as she'd set it down before placing it nicely on his entryway table (where such things were designated). "I need you to not to that thing where you project your silly little love stories onto me, okay? Amelia and I aren't together, we have no intention of being together." It was clear as day to him, so why did he need to keep repeating himself? Another sigh, and Dev shook his head. "I may not be your therapist, Sel, but I'm your brother and I know you. There's no way you're this gleeful less than forty-eight hours after getting out of the hospital."

So I see my brother has some dirt on you. Gaze met Santiago's as sharp as a knife. "Can we just get this over with?" Now, Dev's bedside manner could, at times, leave much to be desired -- but this wasn't exactly a normal situation. "I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your brother, but considering how hot you came with the whole 'just fake the report' thing, I have a feeling your word means very little." Gloves were taken from a nearby container before they were slipped on, palm extended. "Let me see," he remarked, gesturing for the other's hand, "I'm going to apply some pressure to different areas, let me know which areas are numb and which cause pain." Dev had read his chart, but they were based Zeina's initial assessments, not his. Of course he trusted his sister's skill and abilities, but considering he was going to be treating this guy long term, well, he wanted his own evaluation. "What are you taking for it? Does it help?" Any information was good information, and he wasn't in the position to judge whatever recreational drugs this guy was using to get by -- he had no room to talk. Curiosity poked at him after a long moment, eyes flickering between Santiago's hand and his face. "So...how's the knife end up in your hand?"