Dev Au's

Author's Note: These are not all part of the same Au's . For example, Dev and Dale and Remy's lines take place together in a story not yet written. But the Shnozmo one is highly likely to be canon to Golden Wings Au and story. Also I did get inspiration from a fic on AO3 regarding this scenario! Pinocchio lies better by NotevenIknowanymorelol . As soon as I read the title and summary their first meeting popped into my mind lol.

Also heads up the good relationship between Dev and Dale in the first au is NOT canon to the Golden Wings Au (sorry).

There is a bright flash of light that takes Dev by surprise. Waking up doesn't, in his opinion, typically include such brightness. Recently it's just meant a tiredness in his limbs, a blankness in his mind, and eyes that don't want to open but do eventually because that's just what happens when you need to wake up.

So the bright light is new.

And so is the sparkling buildings, and the bright pink sky, and the floating cars on pastel roads, and the static taste of magic in the air and—well, Dev thinks he's made his point. That is, that he has NOT woken up.

As he remains kneeling on the most sparkly, glittery sidewalk in the universe he wonders, deep inside, if he ever will.

And THAT more than anything scares him.

Without meaning to, the crackling magic that he felt overwhelm him just a few minutes ago takes a hold of him once more. And the image of floating cars and glittery sidewalks disappear and he finds himself in a new place. There is more bright pink skies, and floating buildings, and things that Dev couldn't describe even if he wanted to. Things that don't make sense to his mind but he knows, without a doubt, are magic.

The knowledge makes him want to simultaneously throw up and also curl up and cry. He holds out though. That is until he's reached out to that strange burning sensation and static crackling magic feeling in an effort to WAKE UP—only to find that he can't. Then he proceeds to do both.

On and on he continues, reaching out to that uncomfortable strange feeling inside him, feeling the strange electrical sensation flow over him, and suddenly appearing without any warning in a new location with sights that both intrigue and frighten him. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know WHAT he's even doing.

He wants—he wants?

He wants Peri.

But he doesn't know how to get back to him. His Peri is back at home. probably still sleeping, or even awake and making him breakfast, because of course his godparent is sappy enough to want to take care of him, even when he gets into one of his moods, even when he doesn't deserve it. But he doesn't know how to get back!

He could try and find his dream Peri, but that would mean retracing his steps, and while he's been pulling and yanking on that weird magic feeling that has brought him to all these strange new places, he doesn't have a clue as to how to go about going in reverse.

He's stuck, he's alone, he's in pain, and all he wants is his godfather.

He doesn't know what to do to fix those feelings, much less this whole situation.

He doesn't think he can do anything.

Another flash and he finds himself kneeling on the soft pink ground, purple grass flowing in the wind around him. There is nothing else close by. Turning his gaze towards the west, in the opposite direction of where he faces, if he squints just right, he can make out the outline of magical buildings and roads and even the Big Wand in the far distance towards the horizon. But aside from that he is completely alone.

If it was up to him he'd simply curl up and let the colorful dirt take him. But for some reason he doesn't feel like it's just up to him.

There is a weird feeling in his chest that he's only now becoming aware of. A feeling that had sat silent, or perhaps was silenced, during his, for lack of better word, manic episode. It feels…wary and ...confused? There is a distinct feeling of suspicion too that Dev immediately knows is not his.

How exactly does he know this? Dev could not begin to explain it. Other than that he simply knows. Without a doubt, someone else's emotions are writhing close to his own. The sheer weirdness of the feeling calms his own.

He is still aware of his own panicked feelings, and the fact they are settling. The small bursts of static and burns slowly receding back under his skin. It no longer feels like it is trying its best to erupt from his body like a newly awakened volcano. Instead it feels like the slow cooling of magma on the surface after the volcano eruption.

Following that feeling is a great sense of tiredness the likes of which he has never felt before. All of a sudden he wants desperately to take a nap. Preferably one that lasts for days on end.

But the odd sense of emotions pressing up against his own stay his attention. Keeping him on edge just enough that he doesn't fall asleep where he's was kneeling.

Eventually though even that can not keep him from laying down. The left side of his face pressed into the ground as he curls up on his side. His eyelids are begging to close shut but his mind and gut instinct keep him awake. For what? He's not quite sure. So he just lays there, mind racing a mile a minute even as his body tries its best to drag him back into unconsciousness. Though he very desperately wants to let it, to go back home, where his bed and, most importantly, his godfather, remain, his body refuses to.

He finds out a couple minutes later why.

There is a faint poof sound facing away from him alongside a faintly smokey scent, and even though he knows that the moment he's been waiting for has arrived, he finds himself too tired to even move his head to face it. Instead he forces his lips to speak, "Hello?"

There is a quiet rustle of what he assumes to be feet rustling in the dirt and grass, and then a small voice echoes back "...hello?"

Dev entire being freezes, and then bursts into a startling panic that has him raising his body up from the ground with a quickness he hadn't been capable of just a few seconds ago.

Had he still been human, Dev is sure his heart would have been pounding and his entire body sweating buckets. Instead of either of those things happening he only feels a sense of trepidation and a sizzling feeling, one that causes a slight shiver to run through his body, only to promptly fizzle out. It leaves him feeling even more tired than he already does.

Hesitantly turning around to face the being behind him, Dev feels his eyes widen when he finally catches sight of them. A familiar face stares back at him. Uncanny in it's resemblance, the same nose, mouth, and eye shape that he sees in the mirror each morning stare back at him. It makes another shiver rise and roll over his entire being. The shimmery black bat wings protruding from their back, fluttering in tandem with their breathing makes Dev feel even more off-kilter.

Upon further inspection he concludes that the creature is mall, smaller than he typically is, though perhaps it matches him in stature at this very moment. With the same stubby legs and arms that Dev himself knows he possesses right now. Their skin is also a deep shade of blue that immediately brings Irep to mind. With wavy hair with a slight curly texture. It almost resembles his own when it isn't styled with gel, at least if it weren't for the lack of curl pattern in select places. Aside from that they are dressed in baggy black clothes that look like they had been prepared hastily, as opposed to his own carefully curated clothes in shades of purple with star motifs. Something about that fact makes him feel wildly uncomfortable. Instead of dwelling on that feeling further, and the accompanying faint sparks inside of his body, he meets the other's eyes to distract himself, only to feel his breath catch.

They look like his own. Blue with an intersecting color across the bottom. Except in place of the green on the bottom of his own irises, purple makes its home.

It is fascinating to see, and quite memorizing to look at. A part of him finally recognizes the allure of his eyes—and the envy that other people had expressed towards it. Just looking at the way the colors seem to bleed into each other before transforming into distinct opposing colors, stop him in his tracks.

Dev would go as far as to say these eyes are even more beautiful than his own. Purple is not a very naturally occurring eye color in humans. Green however? Much more common. The rarity made it that much more beautiful in Dev's eyes

It also probably helped that the shade of purple matched that of his godfather's eyes. A deep lilac color that invoked a sense of calm in him unlike any other. His shock and fear eased itself out of his body like an unwanted illness. All at once he knew nothing truly bad could come from this being. Not if he shared even an ounce of resemblance to his godfather.

With slight hesitation but building bravery swimming in his chest, he shuffles forwards a little, momentarily cursing his tiredness and small stature as the gap between the two seems immeasurably long. Thankfully though, the curiosity on the other creature's face seem to also match his own, for they move forward on just as unstable feet to reach him.

They meet in the middle.

For a moment they both just stare at each other. Taking in the various similarities and differences. They are so vastly different and yet so indescribably close.

The silence between them stretches for so long Dev begins to feel that strange burning itching feeling rise up, extinguish, and begin to build up again. It is a very uncomfortable feeling. Paired up with the uncomfortable tension, Dev feels like he is undergoing a new form of torture no one else has ever undergone. It likely would have continued for much longer if it weren't for the small hand landing on his sleeve a second later.

"You okay?" A soft warbly voice asks just as Dev begins to feel his control and calm slip. It snaps him out of his feelings so abruptly he feels like he's just experienced whiplash.

His answer leaves his mouth without his permission a second before his brain can actually process the question, "Yeah, of course."

The creature simply blinks at him with their big wide eyes.

Having them entirely focused on him makes Dev feel unexpectedly defensive of his answer.

"What? It's true!" He stammers out,only to be met with the exact same eyes as before. There is a blink and then suddenly a small shake of the creature's head before they opened their mouth again, "N-not true!", they squeak out.

Dev freezes again at the words, and then, unexpectedly, turns a furious shade of red in embarrassment as he's called out on his lie. Tears prickle at the corner of his eyes and his mouth seems to crumble into a watery frown.

"Wha-at?!" He squeaks out in response, unconsciously mimicking the other's tone, and finally unfreezes long enough to glare at the other for questioning him.

He imagines it probably isn't as effective as he wants it to be. What with his eyes becoming so blurry he can no longer see the features of the other's face, and his mouth struggling to not let out the sobs that his body desperately wants to let out. More than anything though, he is trying to hold back the wild feeling clawing up his throat and sparking at his fingertips.

He tries to hold on as best as he can. He doesn't know what will happen if he stops trying and loses control. All he knows is that it will not end well. But it's hard and tiring trying to hold back. A part of him wants to let go. Just release all his emotions and see where it takes him.

Maybe then he'll finally wake up

And perhaps he would have. Perhaps he would have let himself be consumed by these new feelings and emotions. Allowed it to find it's natural end. Had it not been for the sudden embrace he found himself in.

It's not as wide and encompassing as the one Peri had given to him an hour ago. Had it been hours?

The arms aren't long enough to wrap around him completely, but the simple feeling of a warm presence wrapping themselves around him seems to ground him. The face pressed into his neck sniffling also helps to ground him enough to shake those overwhelming feelings away.

Carefully bringing his arms up to wrap around the other, Dev buries his face in the other's hair.

It feels nice, it almost feels like hugging himself, perhaps comforting himself. Maybe even something like forgiveness.

Then a voice pipes up, sounding close to his ear, "You're not okay."

Feeling the tears finally fall, Dev sniffles and asks a question that had been lingering in the back of his mind for some time now, "How do you know that? How can you be so sure?"

There is a pause, brief but powerful, made specially so because of the answer that follows it.

"Because I'm you", the voice close to his ear whispers, "I'm you, and you're me. And we might be two people but we're still", a shaky sigh follows, "we're still one. Which means I know you. I've… always known you. I'll always know you, and how you feel."

Dev pauses as he lets that statement wash over him. He doesn't doubt what the other's said. Not for a moment—because from the second the words were spoken he was sure they were true. Deep inside him, in his soul, he knew it to be true.

But then that would mean…

Dev turns his head just enough to catch the other's eyes.

A part of him doesn't want to ask this question, but he has to know. All these details and coincidences that are falling into place in his mind. The puzzle coming together rapidly as he comes to several realizations, especially one big one.

Eventually he forces the words to exit his mouth.

"What's your name?" He says softly and warily, not daring to speak any louder. Perhaps it was fear, perhaps it was anticipation. Perhaps he just didn't want to miss the other's answer.

And then the answer comes.

"My name's Ved" comes the soft chirp as they—no, as HE snuggles closer into Dev's embrace.

Meanwhile Dev feels a weird sense of calm overtake him. A second later, a feeling of complete detachment from his own body. But not before he lets out the words that he's feared were true, had probably known were true, but had rejected with a fierce denial he had managed to convince himself was false.

"Oh, this is real." He said as he floated away from his own body, slumping over into his anti fairy's embrace like a sack of flour.

Looking up into his godparent’s eyes, Dev comes to the awful realization that this had been no mistake. It had been done on purpose.

Before Peri can say a word to him. Dev is screaming at him, shouting in a great rage tinted with the stinging feeling of betrayal. His hands yank and grasp at whatever part of Peri he can reach, which turns out to be his pants legs because now that he is noticing, he is much smaller then Peri now instead of slightly bigger in size.

The fairy absolutely dwarfs him, and for some reason that elicits a sense of fear. One that he does his best to ignore.

As Peri reaches down to put his hands on Dev. He finally manages to bring himself back to a form of coherency. He finds himself pulling back in a violent fashion. Tearing himself away from Peri like he's infected with a plague. Peri’s hands retract and a hurt look crosses his face and eyes.

‘Good’, Dev thinks. Let the fairy feel a bit of the hurt Dev is currently experiencing. 

“Dev?”, Peri's voice sounds so unbelievably gentle, it immediately sets Dev off again. 

“What. Did. You. Do?!?” Dev spits out between gritted teeth. But Dev already has an idea of what Peri has done. And given Peri's own expression, he knows Dev already suspects. What he really wants to know is why. 

So he asks, tears of frustration and hurt, physical and emotional, falling down his face, face flushed, and eyes hyper focused on his godparent.

Peri looks even more guilty by the second as his face remains focused on Dev, but there is also a look of sheer determination making its way across his face, it leaves him feeling a flicker of fear. Something tells him he will not enjoy what explanation is about to come.

“Dev-” Peri’s arms moved forward, almost as if to take Dev into his arms, but Dev quickly moves out of range again. Shuffling backwards to make sure his godparent can not touch him. He doesn’t know if he does it because his feelings are hurt, or because his whole body hurts. That ache that he woke up with is ever present and he feels it begin to pulse faster the more he thinks about Peri’s betrayal. 

Peri’s arms fall back down, and this time he doesn’t attempt to move towards Dev again. Instead he kneels down on the floor to be closer to Dev’s level.

Even on his knees he still towers over Dev. Having to tilt his head back in order to properly look at him evokes a weird feeling in Dev. Something is not right about the view. About the whole situation really, but especially the size difference between the two. He is not used to his fairy godparent being so much bigger than him. With the exception of the very few times Peri has taken on a human form in order to keep Dev safe, Dev has never felt so small in front of him. It’s eerie. It’s flat out wrong.

His eyes fall to the floor in order not to face his godparent. This attempt to bring them back to even ground makes his conviction waver. It doesn’t help that Peri is looking at him with such loving eyes. The genuine care reflected on Peri’s face makes Dev’s ‘insides’ twist uncomfortably, alongside making that small feeling of hope in his chest rise. 

He is not worthy of that love. He knows this. He’s proven it. And yet…he would like nothing more than to accept it.

It is an old argument that he’s spun around his head for the past year. And just like he’s always convinced himself, he refuses to give in, he can’t accept it. Because accepting it would mean inevitably bracing himself for the hurt that will come when he messes it up. He’s already done so before, he knows he’ll do it again.

He doesn't think he can stomach the disappointment in Peri’s eyes when he does mess up again.

Turning his head away in order not to look Peri in the face, Dev finds his hands bunching up the soft fabric of his pajama shorts, he can’t help but notice it’s purple. His socks too, are plush and purple, with little star motifs on the ankles. For some reason these details make his breath hitch, and a wave of new tears invade his vision. He doesn’t let them fall though, he doesn’t want to. It’s such a stupid thing to cry over. The details shouldn’t mean anything and yet for some reason they make him want to break down even further. Make him want to sob and be held like a stupid little baby. To cry and be held. Preferably by someone with stupid purple hair and eyes, and a smile and voice that makes him think that everything is gonna be okay.

But he can’t…he just…can’t.

And for some reason that fact makes him want to cry even more. 

With that thought in mind, his tears emerge again and he brings a fist up to his mouth to muffle the oncoming sobs. The burning ache increases and even through his closed eyes he can feel sparks of…something pop in the corner of his eyes. The feeling spooks him temporarily out of his urge to cry at the same time that a large hand comes up to carefully cup the side of his face. The hand gently tilts his face to look into the face of its owner and through blurry eyes Dev looks into the face of the person he loves the most. The tender look in his eyes makes Dev want to break down even further.

“I did this for you”, Peri murmurs softly, hand still holding Dev in place, keeping him from turning away from Peri again, “I wanted, more than anything, to keep you safe.”

Oh.

Somehow, despite already feeling terrible about this whole situation, Dev begins to feel even worse. 

Because that's the crux of the issue, isn't it? That despite all that Dev has done to him, berated him, humiliated him, almost fucking killed him! Peri still cared. He still cared. 

Why did he still care?

“But why?” Dev whispers, unable to bring himself to speak any louder. That tight burning feeling is beginning to roll even more intensely than before inside of him, Dev would say it was rolling around in his stomach, but he doesn’t think he has one anymore. Not in the human sense at least. Which, ow, that just hurts to think about at this point. So he resolves to push that to the very bottom of his subconscious. In the same place where he stores his memories of his takeover of FairyWorld. 

Peri’s brow furrows at his question, at least that’s what Dev assumes happens, his eyes are still teary and he has yet to blink, he doesn’t want to let those tears fall. It feels wrong, they aren’t discussing his hurts, they’re discussing Peri’s. It feels rude, selfish even. Dev doesn’t really think he has the right to cry over such things. Instead Dev continues to stare in the direction of Peri’s face, eyes stinging but determined to continue.

Peri finally speaks, “What do you mean? You’re my kid. Do I need a reason to love and care?” The words are said with such audible confusion, Dev can’t hold back the feeling of happiness that explodes in his chest. But he quickly shuts that down. He doesn’t deserve Peri or his affections, his love and care. It was only part of his job. Dev didn’t want to get his hopes up. 

“Even after what I did? Even after…” Dev pauses, the fear of speaking the words aloud staying his voice, but he needs to say it, needs to acknowledge it,”..even after I almost killed you?” 

The air stills, Dev’s eyes close. He does not blink. He does not say anything. For a moment he simply blocks it all out, everything. He doesn't want to hear the answer. He doesn’t want to find out what Peri’s response will be to his question. They’d never acknowledged how his takeover of FairyWorld had gone. How Dev had so severely fucked everything and everyone over that the only way to fix it had been to use that stupid millionth cupcake wish. 

Even then, Dev would never be able to scrub the sight of the Fairies and Anti-Fairies bodies collapsing under the weight of their magic malfunctioning, leaving behind smears of rainbow and silvery blood. He hadn’t known his little takeover would end in such a brutal manner, had never wanted to hurt anyone in such a way. But that didn’t really matter, it had been done. And the only way to reverse it had been to turn everything back. Which he had done with gusto. 

No one else really remembered it. Not in full detail anyways. But Dev hadn’t been so lucky. The details of Peri’s body collapsed in a bloody rainbow heap at the bottom of a cage as he begged Dev to do something, anything, would never leave him. Even just thinking about that day hurt. But he needed to think about it. Acknowledge the damage. And not be surprised if Peri changed his mind about loving him. He certainly would if he was in Peri’s shoes.

He braced himself for the inevitable rejection. It was a good thing his eyes were still closed.

Instead he felt a large body encompass his own, bringing him close into a warm embrace. The scent of lilacs and lavender invaded his nose and the taste of cotton candy grapes suddenly appeared on his tongue. Peri’s arms and magic had enveloped him. 

Before he knew it, he was being pulled up and off the ground and held close, his face buried in the chest of someone who held him like they never wanted to let him go. With his eyes still closed, tears fell down despite his internal protests. Sniffles began to escape him too. And when a hand came to rest on his head, with fingers gently running through his hair, he finally broke down, burying himself further into the chest.

“Oh Dev”, came the muffled voice of his godparent, “Of course I still love you even after all that. I could never stop, no matter how hard or difficult things get, I promise you I’ll never stop.” Peri paused in his efforts to soothe him, and then maneuvered Dev so that he was facing him. A clear message that he wanted Dev to look him in the face, to see the sincerity with which he spoke his words.

“Heck if I can get through my brother erasing me from existence, I can certainly get through an almost death experience with you.” The fairy joked. 

Dev paused and hiccuped at the sentence. There was a lot to unpack regarding that sentence. Because as poor of an attempt at a joke it had been there was clearly some uneasiness to the way the words had been delivered. 

Dev just stared at his godparent, confused and a little freaked out. He still couldn’t let go of his past actions and was unwilling to let the matter of Peri’s almost death go. It felt unreal, being forgiven. He almost didn’t want to believe it.

He couldn’t believe it actually, this had to be a dream, some unholy creation of his subconscious that was trying to put his guilt to rest.

Of course! OF COURSE!

How could he be so stupid! Being forgiven for his murder attempt on his godparent and the entire species of Fairies and Anti-Fairies, however unintentional it had been. Goodness, how could he be so stupid as to fall for this? And waking up as some unholy fairy human hybrid? No, it was clear his mind was playing tricks on him. And he had fallen for it. It was no wonder he’d felt so uncomfortable since ‘waking’. The burning, crackling sensation that was clawing at his insides was clearly his mind's attempt to wake him up.

Well he wouldn’t fall for it any longer. He was going to wake up. Wake up in his own bed, in his lonely room, in a lonely tower, where the only thing to greet him before 8am would be his au pairs. 

Yes, that was right, that was correct. It’s what he deserved. 

Still the thought of going back to normalcy hurt more than he would like to admit. Especially as he stared at the warm and loving face of his godparent, held by him like he was something precious and worth protecting. 

‘It’s fine, ' he thought, ‘I’ll see him in a little bit after I wake up.’ And yet he still felt hurt.

There was no use in dwelling on it though. Instead Dev merely laid his head back down on Peri’s chest, curled himself up a little more in the steadying embrace of his godparent, and breathed in once, twice, and then spoke, “It’s okay. I know you don’t mean that. But that’s alright. This is just a dream anyways. I just hope I get to remember it when I wake up.”

With that said Dev closed his eyes and focused on waking up, he didn’t want to remain in this dream now that he knew the truth. He didn’t want to torment himself further with what he could never have. 

Reaching out to that particular sensation buried in his body, the only thing in him because he was fairly sure it held no human organs, which did not disturb him as much as it had just a few minutes ago, he pulled. The crackling stinging sensation rushed over his entire body so suddenly he almost didn’t have enough time to realize the pain that followed, almost. 

The night before he woke up changed is…not noteworthy. He says goodnight to Peri, brushes his teeth, washes his face, and has his au-pairs deactivate his alarm for the weekend.

Settled under his covers, Dev only spares a few thoughts towards the day. It had been a decent one. School had been okay. He'd terrorized a few other kids, been subjected to a lecture by Peri for it. Came home and ate dinner before being bombarded with potential wish ideas by his godparent. Probably out of guilt over the lecture if Dev had to guess. After a few hours of pointless wishes, Dev had resolved to finally go to sleep.

After a quick hug from Peri, he had dismissed the other to get ready for bed. Overall, an okay day. No devastating realization of just how awful a person he was. How he didn't deserve to have Peri back. How really the godparenting system was making a huge mistake giving him a fairy godparent again. And how inevitably, he would screw this all up again soon.

Nah. None of that today. Instead, Dev fell peacefully asleep with all his worst fears and usual nightmares fluttering around in the back of his mind.

It had been a typical but not out of the ordinary day.

When he wakes up the next morning with an awful ache radiating through his whole body and a fierce itch at his back, he thinks ‘Ahh yes, karma my old friend you've come back again’.

With a heavy sigh he finds himself climbing out of bed, not his bed though, ‘ weird’ , he thinks.

Only to immediately find himself plunging towards the ground at a high speed.

There is a careful warm caress that envelops his body and slows his descent all the while stopping his fear from overwhelming his body completely. But even as he feels himself grow calm he still ends up face planting into the fluffy carpet of the ground.

It hurts. Not as bad as it would have had his descent not been slowed, but it still hurts.

Lifting his face up off the carpet he takes the time to carefully grasp at his face with a careful hand. Brushing a hand against his nose has him flinching back hard. He feels something wet on his hands and before he even glances at it he already knows it's blood.

‘Probably broken’ , he thinks as he finally brings his eyes to face his blood covered fingers, only to freeze at the sight.

Because instead of the usual dark red of human blood, he is faced with a glittery concoction of shimmery red with rainbow sparkles reflecting back at him.

He feels his breath begin to come faster as he stares down at the slippery substance. Tears blur at the edges of his vision as he tries to make sense of the situation.

Feeling a lump begin to develop in his throat Dev places his hand down on the floor and instead focuses on trying to sit up. Ignoring his hand, ignoring the blood!

Only to realize that sitting up feels weird. Heavier than usual. Like there is a weight on his back that shouldn't be there.

With a heavy feeling of trepidation, Dev turns his head to look behind him, biting his lips hard to stifle oncoming sobs and blinking rapidly to will away the tears that are threatening to fall.

What he finds has him giving up on both endeavors and crying out in a mixture of frustration and fear.

Because there are now wings attached to him! Gold glittery wings! Not fairy wings but still!

They're large and delicate looking, more circular than oval like Peri's, with small filigree on the very edges where the wings taper off into little nubs instead of sharp points, with an almost translucent gold color that makes the flickers of fairy dust that fall to the floor look like mist settling off of a waterfall.

They shimmer with every small beat that he can feel. He shudders at the feeling and the wings shudder with him.

Frantically scrambling to get up, Dev turns the best he can to reach his hands behind himself and pull .

What he finds out by doing that is not favorable. What he finds is that it hurts. It hurts so much worse than the faceplant. Hurts more than the awful suspicion that bloomed upon seeing his blood on his hands.

No, this pain is beyond whatever he was feeling before because It's not just a physical pain that he feels. It is a spiritual one. It is a pain that bursts from behind his heart and brain. Overwhelming in a way he has only felt once before. It chokes him up and spears him at the same time, rendering him incapable of thinking, much less speaking coherently. Instead, it leaves him sobbing on the ground, tears falling down his face as he tries to come up with words to express his hurt.

His hurt over having his life taken out of his own hands. His hurt at losing what little control he had over his own being. His hurt over losing his own humanity.

His soul hurts over this situation. He was human just this morning! And now he’s been turned into some unholy magical abomination with weird looking wings and even weirder looking blood!

His head hurts, his whole body hurts. It aches and itches and feels too tight and too small. There is a burrowing feeling underneath his skin. Like something is trying to leach out of him. If he had to garner a guess, he'd say it was coming from the overwhelming heat piling up in the very core of his being. It leaves him feeling desperately afraid.

He'd go as far as to say the fear is tearing his heart apart. But he doesn't think he has one of those anymore.

After all, he hasn't been able to hear his own heartbeat for the entire time he's been awake.

He's in such a state of distress that he doesn't even hear the sound of the door opening up behind him, doesn't hear the rapid flaps of wings that follow after either. Only realizes that someone has entered the room at all when a large hand falls on his small shaking shoulders as he's preoccupied bawling his eyes out and tugging at the wings attached to his back like they might come undone at any moment if he just tugs hard enough!