SKYFALL

An eye cracks open and squint towards the window..The sun’s shining through the blinds,and he can hear the cicadas chirping just outside. His skin feels sweaty, as he lifts his head off the pillow. The air in the room is tick, the only noise managing to muffle the annoying bugs outside is the fan, softly buzzing across the room. He didn’t want to wake up to these sore bones, or his fuzzy mind, but it seemed everything else wanted him to wake up.

  These past couple of days has been difficult. Maybe it was the weather..but otherwise, he’s not sure why..

                           There’s an itch he’s got the urge to scratch.

He never noticed how badly it affected him til he stopped...

   A quick smoke, a quick drink , a quick flicker of his power...things that always seemed to be a way to fix these feelings he had..

  But now he’s being monitored in every shape and form...he hates it. Normally, he deals with it, it’s fine. But today...hell today...

Today that itch was strong..and waking up made it worse. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep for a few more hours, but his body, and mind didn’t let him..

 He’s gonna take a cold shower and get a cup of coffee.....but even then it doesn’t help.

   Goddamn,I hate summer...

  A quick slip out the door....

             A quick trip to the store.

He loves youuuu

thank you fath er

   He couldn’t sleep...He laid in bed,staring holes into the ceiling...His mind drifting..

A pain deep in his chest...tight...and sharp..

He’s been the best he could be, he’s better..than he’s ever been...but still this feeling was here. Burring it’self in his head, twisting his gut,and squeezing his heart..

How could he feel alone in a house full of people...He had his friends...he had his kids...his husband..If... he wanted to talk he could talk to Yasha..

Yasha..he’s always been there for him...and yet..

                                         what have you done for him--

                                                                         He’s done more simply paying me back..  

Not things from when they were kids...that’s...that’s so far in the past now...Yasha..puts up with so much, he takes care of everything, he’s always there..taking care of everyone--

            What do you do? Laze around all day...Yasha cooks he cleans..he takes care of the kids...takes care of you he does everything...

            he probably doesn’t trust you to be left by yourself...

             he’s tired of how pathetic you are..tired of talking to you, tired of being around you

                    How long has it been since you two really talked to each other...?

   His shoulders shake..something is stuck in his throat...He clutches the blanket a little tighter, and closer to his chest..

      What do you do other than wallow in self pity...you don’t do anything for yourself..you don’t even take care of yourself..

                                              What are you without Yasha?

                                                              Without Hamon?

                                                                    Without that family?

When you strip that all away, you’re only left with yourself..but...You can’t handle being around yourself...alone with your thoughts....There’s a sleeping body beside you and a blanket to hold onto..but not even that is enough..

        You’re not as old as you like to believe...when you’re crying like an infant..

   “I can’t...” A harsh whisper..

          “do anything...”

               “i can’t..take care of myself...”

                   “I can’t..do this..” a muffled..sob into the blanket..

                            “I was...getting better...supposed to be better...”

      “why..can’t I be better...” His nose is stuffed, he can’t see...can’t breath...

“I should just..die...should just die but I can’t...cause im a fucking..coward...”

   “clinging to other people...cause I can’t....deal with myself....”

  “why....am I like this....”

A chuckle will certainly slip between the cracks– He loves you so much…

But~ Don’t mind if he does? Perhaps he’d have to gradually pull the other back up after a moment, but don’t expect the kiss to be ended just for that.

and he loves you...

“My dear, silly husband~ Your sources are lacking plenty of data. Allow me to propose–” Oh dear! He’ll pull the man into a dip, and a deep, passionate kiss will be set into place.

A soft chuckle, and he’ll press his forehead against the other’s. “But how much I love my, most striking husband~”

Ah~ There he is~ He’ll brush back some of the other’s hair; “As if you’re not enjoying this yourself, liebling~” 

dettektiv: You’re a devious bastard without even trying –

Winks

    The days tick by, closer and closer until today. The 24th. Tomorrow is Christmas. Tomorrow is the wedding. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. He had gone through the motions, anxiety, fear, excitement, impatience. He’d try everything he could to distract himself, but every time he had asked Yasha what he could help with, he’d put his hands on Dimitri's shoulders and say, “Calm down.” That’s not enough! and it definitely wasn’t enough to calm him down. He tried to re-write his vows (for the thousandth time this year), but after the piles and of crunched up paper, he decided to stay with his original draft anyway.

  He should be excited (and he is) but now he can't stop worrying. He can’t help but feel that something is going to go wrong..

ugh, ok ok. it’s fine. it’s gonna be fine

  “Today’s..gonna be a good day...tomorrow is gonna be a good day. Everything is fine-” At least, that’s what he’s gonna keep telling himself.

  He’ll just keep thinking about seeing Hamon in that suit, meeting his eyes as they say their vows, Seeing his kids open their gifts, and eating dinner, together as a family.