Detrans Stories

hi i just wanted to thank you for the post you made arguing against referring to women who’ve had mastectomies as “disfigured.” as a detrans woman who had top surgery as a child i already feel awful about my body but am trying to find acceptance and acknowledge that what happened to me was not my fault and i was literally a kid. i see so many people saying “well you chose this, you deserve to be ridiculed.” it disheartens me to hear people who claim to care about women say that because i was obviously a victim of medical malpractice. anyways i’ll stop rambling but i just wanted to say it does make me happy to see people calling out how messed up that language is.

the comments on your post about using mutilated to refer to detrans people are so typical lmfao. I'm detrans and use mutilated to refer to my body, but it's very clear many of these types use mutilated as a way to humiliate the people they're criticizing. The women who are arguing they use this language because they have no sympathy for trans ppl examplify this, and all I can think about is how these are usually the same ppl adamantly against child transition, who know how pervasive and predatory that is, yet conveniently forget a ton of these 'mutilated' people are only mutilated because they were medically abused as kids. I also just find it so obnoxious when they hop onto posts where a detrans woman is clearly just venting about her experiences and then try to turn it into a debate. For them it's a thought exercise (and one they're usually utterly insensitive about), for us it's reality. Ngl I'm at the point where I roll my eyes when most people try to talk about trans stuff like they know shit about it. On the surface it's a very cut and dry controversy, but in actuality most ppl don't understand it deeply because they've never been in that position. So they then go on to say wildly oversimplistic/inaccurate things and get pissy with detransitioners when we press them on their stances. At the end of the day, a lot of them just want to use strong language that expresses their own disgust for either the situation or the transitioner. They don't gaf about how the affected ppl feel about it, which makes it even more obnoxious when they pose as activists.

it icks me out when people refer to a TIF who's had a mastectomy as "mutilated" or "disfigured"

i have a deep dark secret that claws at my guts each day.

Wyvern asks medicalized Detrans:

I medically transitioned at 15 years old because I didn't want to be feminine. I was told by my parents, by doctors, and by therapists that I was transgender and I started believing it. My "dysphoria" was a desire to be treated like a human being and not the piece of meat women get treated as. I didn't want to be molested again. I hated my body and how it was seen by society. I didn't want to be undermined and treated as subhuman. I got top surgery at 17. I got my name and all documents changed at 18.

Another storytime! This time after I detransitioned but again because of my short hair. I got called a lesbian by some strangers in the city and I know they meant it like an insult but for me being a lesbian is nothing bad? So good try. I just thought it's stupid to call a woman a lesbian because she got short hair. It's like a woman with short hair is either a lesbian or a trans'man' and I'm like damn.. what am I supposed to do now because I'm neither of that?

your comments on the detrans/desist divide are something i as a detrans woman have been ruminating on for a while, so i was interested when you brought it up. i think desisters are a very wide group of people who walk away with either essentially 0% trauma or about as much emotional baggage relating to gender ideology as detransitioners. i have had a lot of in depth convos with desisters about this, and something that strikes me is how many of the women felt they were in a body-hating, sexist cult that often led to eating disorders or them being sexually abused by trans identified males. this social aspect is something i as a detransitioner really relate to. simultaneously, i feel no emotional connection whatsoever to the type of desister who, for lack of a better way of putting it, treated their trans identity like a quirky party trick. i wish more people respected that desisters can go through severe trauma as a result of being in trans spaces, but simultaneously i get extremely bitter when desisted people try to lump themselves in with me (i was on t/had a mastectomy as a teen). i've also found that desisters are treated like normal people by the general population, whereas detrans people are often othered after we divulge our past, if we're even able to be recognized as our sex again. the conclusion i've come to is that i don't expect the public to know the difference between us, but i want desisters to respect that their experience is nothing like that of someone who lost a body part because of this ideology. i won't lie, it makes me mad when i see desisted people talking about how their lives are ruined in the same spaces where detransitioners are trying to process the very severe physical trauma they went through. idk, this was a stream of consciousness sort of ask and not really a question, but i just don't know where else to talk about it. love your blog btw <3

I understand that desisted people do not go through hormones and face permanent damage through medical intervention, but people act as if the phase is experimental and just a quirky time of your life if you are. But that phase had once consumed me.

You’re not cool and edgy and smarter than everyone else for talking about a woman “getting her tits chopped off” or calling women and girls “mutilated”.

hey i'm detrans and had laser (6 sessions so far, getting six more startin tomorrow actually lol). i have pale skin and dark hair, and it worked well for me. significantly thinned my hair and made it so that i don't have stubble when i pluck my lip. i recommend looking at groupon- i got 6 sessions on my sideburns, upper lip, and chin for 150$. very much worth it imo

I'm a detransitioner and I just, I don't understand hating the trans community because *you* made a mistake, or because you didn't get the support or care or whatever you needed.