the archives

@unaccompaniedescapist  that chart thing I started 2 years ago

as said before,  I’ve pasted some pics from throughout that time to fill some of the spaces (bc I can, & I will, take the laziest approach to everything)

these are my favorites out of the new ones:

@unaccompaniedescapist how dare you give encouragement and show interest in my content. I had an entire night of moping around and wallowing in my depression planned, and now I have no choice but to change my schedule to firstly get up and get something to eat (take care of myself & prepare), and then continue working on this art (an activity that I generally find both entertaining and therapeutic) to finish this that I will now have to show you when I’m done since you’ve shown interest and that you might enjoy >:0

@unaccompaniedescapist  the wip  (I’m stopping for tonight)

blacked out squares I put images I’ve already drawn of him there (bc I’m a cheater);  they were all previously either empty or had some of the oldest, worst, drawings

but I have made some good decisions. for example, a moment ago I remembered your smile, and every time I’ve made you laugh or grin was clearly the right decision, no matter how foolish I might have felt then

some drawings of  pretending I know what a light source is  of the detective,  inspired by some of @notmusa‘s tweets  (bc he would totally say/do these things)

And it came by surprise.  I walked into a room and suddenly he was there.  He noticed me, said hi, and suddenly I was trapped by means of social convention.

He asked me why I’d left: his voice calm for those that had come with him, his eyes locked on me as though he were making a threat.

And I answered him.

I’d known him years ago, I’d known him for years, and I knew he’d heard it before a thousand times by a thousand different people.  I’d met them.  Now I was one of them.  Another person he’d hurt, another person telling him how and why, another person to be ignored as if it were he who had cast me aside.

And he snickered and sneered as if I’d said a joke.  Correction: I was the joke. 

He looked at me with the amusement and contempt of a rage that was only kept back because there were other people in the room, and said I shouldn’t try to pretend like I’m better than them.  We’re all human, we all have our flaws, none of us can be ‘perfect’.  He said I needed to come off my high horse.

And, in that moment, I came to peace that this was who he was- who he’d always been.  That it wasn’t my fault I hadn’t noticed when I’d first met him.  That he’d always try to hide this because he knew he was in the wrong. So I corrected him.

I said no.  I am nobody.  I am no one but those I surround myself with, and nothing but what I do.  When I see the truth I act on it because others deserve what’s true.  So see, I would never want- I could never stand- to be you.