Moved to despairled

I never really lost interest, I just got into a position where trying to write anything made me super anxious. This is a common thing for me, but I fell into a bit of a funk this time and my pseudo writer's block thing ended up lasting a really long time.

I’m really sorry if anybody feels like I blew them off. I feel bad about leaving, and it makes me even more nervous about returning. I'm pretty fed up with being nervous about it and so I’m just ripping the band-aid off and returning. Just on Mukuro for now, because she is still the character that I put the most into and I have a lot of new ideas for her that I want to explore. I intend to revive some other blogs when I’m back in the swing of things again. Especially Etsuko, but I’m just not there yet. 

I really want to thank all of my partners and the DR community as a whole. I felt really at home here, and I really admire a lot of people here. I know I don’t say much and I’m sorry if I seem unapproachable because of that. More than that, though it’s thanks to you all that I'm returning now. I’ve been lurking here for a week or two just reading other people’s rps and it made me realize how much I missed it, and how much I missed my partners. Thanks for being an inspiration.

So, a few things I want to go over before I come back:

My threads are all dropped at this point. If you really want to pick up an old thread, then we can talk about it, but it’s safe to assume that if we haven’t, the thread is dropped. I hate to do it, but after all this time I think it would be best to plot a bunch of new stuff.

My blog is and has always been kind of a mess. It probably only really bothers me, but I think I’m gonna remake. It’s not gonna be instant so you can reach me here for now. I’ll link the new blog when it’s done.

Things are gonna be a little quiet for a while longer, unfortunately. I’m gonna be in a  transition to my new blog, and I probably won’t take any more full threads on this blog. That being said, I’m totally open to talking, plotting, maybe even some short form stuff here and there. 

Thank you if you read all of this. I don’t blame anybody who didn’t bother, but it means a lot to me that at least somebody heard me out. I wasn’t sure where I was going with this post when I started, but I feel a better now that I put it out there. I hope to actually talk to some of you soon. 

ينجو

So let’s not beat around the bush. I’ve been gone for like a month. I could bore all of you with a bunch of excuses, but the reality is that after my health issues made it extremely painful to use my computer my motivation kinda just left me behind. Then, a million other things in my life distracted me from coming back here, and then I got anxious about returning. Anxiety makes me angry with myself. Being angry with myself makes me try to avoid what’s stressing me out, so I try to avoid coming back no matter how badly I want to. This is the biggest problem I have. It is nobody’s fault but my own.

In other words; if you were looking forward to a reply from me over this last month, I’m sorry. I am going to make a serious effort to return to tumblr and get over my own misgivings. I’d rather not go into my own wack brain hijinks publicly, but if you want to talk to me about it you can message me. No pressure, though. I just need to get back on the horse, and I’ll be good.