I was your ultralight beam.

Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette, they only use you when they’re bored and step on you when they’re done. Be like drugs, let them die for you.

Wait for it. That day when you will be okay with what happened. It may take weeks, or months, or years but it will happen. You could be getting your morning coffee or driving home at night and suddenly that carefully constructed monument of him that you built in your mind will come crashing down. You'll realize that he hurt you in a way that made it impossible to breathe, and that actually you know what? It wasn't okay. You'll realize that even though he seemed like it at the time, even though he seemed like it for long after he left, he was not your knight in shining armor. You'll realize that yes, you loved him and he may have loved you, and yes,  his intentions were good and he never meant to hurt you, and yes,  he’s not a bad person  but what is done is done. Keep your reasons why you fell in love with him and remember them, but never forget how he made you feel when he left. It wasn't noble, it wasn't romantic, and you were not star-crossed lovers. He could have stayed, he could have not done what he did if he wanted to but the fact is that he didn’t  and finally, finally it’s okay. He broke you but you can finally forgive him and most importantly, you will realize that there’s nothing to go back to but hurt and a boy who couldn’t keep his promises. I will keep my promise to you reader. I promise this day will come, and I promise it will make you smile, and I promise there’s a reason why you felt so much pain for so long. Wait for it.