I. no anti's. i am a pro-ship, dead-dove eating, toxic fic sludge drinking gremlin. there will be threads with graphic mention and dynamics related to child sex abuse/slavery/torture/prostitution/incest and mentions of abuses in general. ARMAND IS A VICTIM AND A PERPETRATOR. i do not write him as any one thing, victim or offender; he's both.

II. shipping. i do not ship with just anyone. sexual threads will be put on the back burner until i am certain our character's have chemistry, but i am open to nsfw threads, gore threads, enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies; all manner of ships. if you think something is working out between us, let's plot! i love shipping. it's my favorite threads to write.

note: i am exclusive with molloyed's daniel molloy and solilacquist's louis and evilanew's lestat. that means i do not write with other daniel, louis or lestat roleplay blogs but i will follow back if i enjoy an interpretation just to read the writing. please note that all blog-canon will be centered with molloyed's daniel molloy.

III. fandom drama is a big no no for me. i am 31 years old, i've got a full time job and i come here to write and decompress. if you are someone that regularly engages in that behavior, or someone i grow particularly anxious around, i will be soft blocking. my space is my own to curate and yours is your own: if you feel anxious around me, i'd gladly support you to unfollow.

IV. groupchats, threesome threads and 3-way character dynamics: i do not do these. i understand that dash shenanigans may push us to interact in-character to a plethora of other character's, but i am not open to these kinds of dynamics whether it be in character or out of character. please do not push, coerce or try to guilt me into it. i've had anxiety issues with the past and particularly with those who do not respect it and expect more from me than i can give: please respect that.

V. i have discord for those who i get on with/enjoy writing with. if we become fast friends, feel free to ask for it :) you'll get faster responses and darker content.

VI. i am not my character. if i put something into my reply that makes you uncomfortable as a mun, or i forget to tag something, i overstep a boundary of yours: please feel free to come and tell me. the squeaky wheel gets the grease and i'd love to make our time writing together as dyamic, and pain free, as possible. i'm also autistic and my innate form is being mute. i am not a big talker. i'm trying to work on it, but sometimes social norms fly over my head. :)

VII. i am a mult-paragraph writer. i love long threads, i love plotting! do not feel pressured to match length. i do also double space and use small text, but if that is harsh on your brain, i can stop. just hop into my im's and we can work it out.

the history of armand's sexuality is a complicated mix of trauma, misogyny and the years spent in sexual slavery. when armand was a child, his only dream was to give all of himself to his god. he yearned to hole himself up behind a wall so he could starve himself into monkshood. being enslaved and sold into prostitution changed that. he was too young to know his sexuality or his gender, or why he was a boy and what boys did, but there were instances where the loss of autonomy had a significant impact on who we know today:

i. arun being dressed up in tunic's that mimicked dresses & being made to keep his hair long. ii. men being the ones who would prepare him for being sold to merchants. iii. marius forcing him back into the brothel's as punishment for wanting to sleep with him (where armand found out that there were people that were neither boys nor girls). iv. bianca solderini and the introduction into masculinity through her and marius's care. v. the infantilization while he was in marius's care. vi. the paris cult.

i. when arun is first prepared for the turkish buyers, he tells us how he was groomed until it hurt, his hair brushed painfully, the preparation that gives him the look of an angel; the tunic he's put in goes down to his knees, his sleeves are long and bell-shaped, and he even begins to laugh when he realizes that the merchant's believe him to be a girl. they pull up his tunic, check his genitals, and when he protests? he's hit so hard he passes out. later on, in italy, amadeo is made to dress in a way that accentuates his softer features. he even refers to himself as a poppet.

ii. throughout his journey through asia to the middle east through to europe, armand remarks how he's always being taken care of by men and boys. men groom him so hard it hurts, men put ointment on his injuries after they hurt him, boys come into the room and try to arouse him on the men's behalf, men are the force in which armand's entire life falls apart.

iii. for all of armand's history, i believe that marius paying for 3 separate brothel's to keep amadeo for a few days to work out his sexual frustrations was incredibly harmful for him. as much as he speaks on the subject as if it were simply another learning curve, the fall out from those days are huge; amadeo begin's to have behavioral problem's, he's angry, he even forces himself onto bianca afterwards, he seeks out other lovers (one that would eventually kill him and some of the other boys), he becomes drunk every day. despite telling us that he liked the people that were neither boy nor girl more than he liked the women and men, it's quite clear that being left in a brothel caused him irreparable harm. he details the way he and the boys would force themselves onto each other, struggle for dominance, that he enjoyed those types of plays. later on, with lord harlech (his first romance he sought out for himself that was completely consensual), we see the man tell amadeo post-coitus that he'd kill him if he had to (to keep him). and later, he does kill amadeo.

iv. bianca solderini plays a very important part in armand's life, sexuality wise. it's with bianca that he first learns how to pleasure a woman, how to be gentle with one, how best to bring her to orgasm. the important part that stands out is that bianca is a courtesan, not simply a prostitute like amadeo had been. she had a home where she only allowed men that she wanted to allow inside, men that made it known they knew that she wasn't to be owned - and amadeo sees it. he sees her distinct boundaries and one day, he violates her. she's precious, yes, and his only friend of the female variety, but she's still a sex woker to him and when he comes back from the brothel's, amadeo forces himself upon her. he takes a liking to her, but there is no true love between them the way amadeo loves riccardo or albinus. she's a possession just like he is and the imprint bianca leaves on him is carried into his modern life - he's attracted to young blonde women, women who are caught in circumstances where he can save them, women with gentle disposition's and men who want her in their possession. while he doesn't love her, she has a place in his heart.

v. the infantilization of armand's time with marius is forever imprinted on his psyche. he was so scared in those days, constantly trying to convince marius that he was a man with a man's body, worried about the sin of doing these things behind closed doors with marius; the sexual element of his fright that comes when there are true reminders that he was aging - ejaculating with semen, his body getting heavier, wanting to have sex, hating how he was being painted (as a very young boy), his clothes being tailored to show off the parts of his body that are thinnest and most slender. his body was meant to be controlled by those stronger than he was. his sexuality was meant to be controlled by those that had the money, those brave enough to push him in whatever direction they wanted because amadeo had no will of his own to stop it.

vi. shame dictates armand's every move. fear, shame, need to belong. he changes his beliefs and his body and his face at will for whoever is strongest, whoever can subjugate him, whatever and whoever can hurt him and his time in paris was exactly that; an extension of italy. the carefully crafted persona of civility is used as a tool to break him down and turn him into something that covers itself up, a creature that is shapeless and in the shadows. humble, walled up, starving. it's everything he wanted to be as a child and there is no pleasure in it. all these rules and religious zealotry that had welcomed him before was now just a chain and a collar bolting him to the wall. while safe from sexual assault or abuse, armand was not safe mentally. there was a significant trade off of safety for conformity and comfort.

the modern day complexities of his gender and sexuality: armand still witholds himself, almost entirely, from sex (excluding lestat in the theatre, his marriage and his affair with daniel in the 70's) unless he is hypersexual. his clothing his largely shapeless, it's picked with all the 500 years of trauma still holding up a big red sign that says: DON'T DRESS LIKE A TARGET. armand partakes in sex only with lestat, louis and daniel and all three are very much given special privileges to partake in the trauma-chameleon mask armand likes to wear for them. his trauma colors everything in his life and there is a large part of him that enjoys reenacting that trauma with men he can trust, in spaces where they can also trust him to be gentle with their trauma.